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Thread: New Girl in the Penpal World

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
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    USA
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    Default New Girl in the Penpal World

    Hey, I recently started writing as a penpal - something I'd thought a lot about but didn't actually know how anything worked.

    I really, really like it though - I feel like I'm making good friends with someone and we have only written each other a few times, but we draw pictures back and forth and, I will admit, there is a little flirting going on.

    I've just got some basic questions that someone with more experience might be able to help me with:




    1. I got an envelope that was opened and the letter I was expecting in reply to mine was not there - it may have fallen out because the envelope was never sealed... did my penpal forget to seal it, or do guards read them and the one who read this forgot to seal it?

    2. Do you think the letter fell out, or maybe it was confiscated? We never say anything bad or above PG but we were discussing the possibility of a relationship

    3. What kind of things would cause them to take it away? I'm not really clear on that.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
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    Canada
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    Oregonian's: Relaxed

    Default Re: New Girl in the Penpal World

    It depends what state it's in...Illinois mail room seals the envelopes...Oregon inmates seal the envelopes. So...likely it was the mail room that didn't seal it...i've had a couple out of Illinois that came unsealed.

    The letter fell out...they wouldn't send an empty envelope. If they didn't send it, they inmate would be notified.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Welcome to the forum!

    I would be cautious to leap into a relationship with an inmate...if you have just started writing... it's wise to keep your eyes open.
    Generally men who lead with a relationship have an angle. Don't send him any money.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
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    USA
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    Default Re: New Girl in the Penpal World

    Thank you very much for your reply. I definitely won't be sending money since I don't want to always have the worry that my new friend is only talking to me for that, or trying to get me involved in a relationship just so he could get some cash, and I'm a person who tends to worry so that would ruin things for me.

    I'll be careful and keep my eyes open to everything. It's good to hear that they notify the inmate if they decide not to send something, so if that were the case then he would have been able to tell me that

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    'Merica
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    Default Re: New Girl in the Penpal World

    Is he a federal inmate by any chance? I ask because their letters are usually sealed with tape and the tape sometimes comes off. I've had an empty letter before. Never did recover it.
    If you are interested in this inmate do yourself a favor WAIT!!! Wait at least 6 months or more. Get to know him first, see what his intentions are. There are quite a few reasons as to why you or him can fall so fast, however if you wait you can see if it's really real. I speak from experience.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: New Girl in the Penpal World

    Yeah, on his profile it says he is in the Federal Bureau of Prisons. The letters do usually come sealed with tape and they're never licked shut, which is why I was thinking maybe it is c.o.'s checking them before sending them and whoever mailed the last one might have let the tape come off. I always lick my letters shut, but since this has happened I've started putting three little strips of tape on them afterward because I wanted to make sure none of my letters got lost - I don't want my penpals to think that I would stop writing or disappear on them.

    Thank you very much for the advice - I am definitely waiting before I get involved because there is so much you need to know about someone before you know if they're a good fit for a relationship, but I'd never considered an exact length of time before. I think having set a standard is a really good idea because without a clear timeframe in mind it's easy to get swept up in the moment - I know his friendly banter and increasing affection has definitely been giving me some strong feelings and I need to keep an eye on my heart, just in case.

    I've already told him that I don't know him well enough yet, but I mentioned my dealbreakers and told him that we should keep getting to know each other because I don't feel like I know enough about him yet since there are so many different factors to consider if two people want to be that close.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Canada
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    Default Re: New Girl in the Penpal World

    Quote Originally Posted by swagprincess View Post
    Hey, I recently started writing as a penpal - something I'd thought a lot about but didn't actually know how anything worked.

    I really, really like it though - I feel like I'm making good friends with someone and we have only written each other a few times, but we draw pictures back and forth and, I will admit, there is a little flirting going on.

    I've just got some basic questions that someone with more experience might be able to help me with:




    1. I got an envelope that was opened and the letter I was expecting in reply to mine was not there - it may have fallen out because the envelope was never sealed... did my penpal forget to seal it, or do guards read them and the one who read this forgot to seal it?

    2. Do you think the letter fell out, or maybe it was confiscated? We never say anything bad or above PG but we were discussing the possibility of a relationship

    3. What kind of things would cause them to take it away? I'm not really clear on that.
    I can so understand you because the same thing seems to happen with me
    and my PP.

    But all the best to you

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Location
    Brazil
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: New Girl in the Penpal World

    I recommend https://www.penpaland.com its a new generation penpal website.
    Penpaland is the club of genuine snailmail correspondence, but is also aimed at helping people from all around the world develop a long-term penpalling with online members, through our private messaging system, personal photo album, greetings cards, interactive world map penpal search engine, and way much more.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: New Girl in the Penpal World

    I understand what you mean. I have fallen for mine and I have went to visit. We are planning to be together after his release, which is soon I hope! He is just waiting on the word. But I agree with everyone about taking it slow. We did. It was just friendship with no flirting at all at first...then feelings slowly crept up and now we are in-love! Where is your guy located? Are you able or wanting to go see him? I was so freaking nervous the 1st time we met and kissed! LOL My sweetheart is in Estill, SC. So it is only 1 1/2 from me! Best of luck and always keep one eye open!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    123

    Default Re: New Girl in the Penpal World

    Speaking of unsealed envelopes, I received three letters in one day from my friend. There was obvious glue on the envelopes, but it didn't seal the envelope. Thankfully, my letters arrived with said envelopes.

    I have since sent my friend envelopes with the self stick tape. One rip, press and seal. I'm sure the mail room will appreciate them rather than having to use glue and I will appreciate my letters not getting lost.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Wales. UK
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: New Girl in the Penpal World

    Quote Originally Posted by WendyE View Post
    I understand what you mean. I have fallen for mine and I have went to visit. We are planning to be together after his release, which is soon I hope! He is just waiting on the word. But I agree with everyone about taking it slow. We did. It was just friendship with no flirting at all at first...then feelings slowly crept up and now we are in-love! Where is your guy located? Are you able or wanting to go see him? I was so freaking nervous the 1st time we met and kissed! LOL My sweetheart is in Estill, SC. So it is only 1 1/2 from me! Best of luck and always keep one eye open!
    Ah i feel like that about mine. We have been writing each other for ten months now and feelings are beginning to creep in big time! There is a stumbling block, i live in the UK! but plan to visit her next year. We often talk about our first meet, and our first kiss!

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