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Thread: Inmate in love?

  1. #41
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    Default Re: Inmate in love?

    I understand what an emotional affair is, but I don't see how my relationship with my PP can be classified as such.
    I enjoy talking to him as much as I enjoy talking to my other best friends, I care about him and I feel affection for him, but these feelings are different than the feelings I have for my husband, and definitely not as strong.

  2. #42
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    Default Re: Inmate in love?

    Quote Originally Posted by Perla07 View Post
    I understand what an emotional affair is, but I don't see how my relationship with my PP can be classified as such.
    I enjoy talking to him as much as I enjoy talking to my other best friends, I care about him and I feel affection for him, but these feelings are different than the feelings I have for my husband, and definitely not as strong.
    You are not having an emotional affair with your pen pal if you don't have the same feelings you do for your husband. You hit the nail on the head when you said your feelings are different than feelings you have for your husband. Precisely! Let's say you were torn between the two, inside, your love, your affection, attention was competing for each. This is an emotional affair.

    I'm not saying that everyone who has a pen pal is having an emotional affair. I just found it odd that the op is married and was accepting two phone calls from her pen pal daily, sending pictures, him telling her he loves her. I'm not saying she loves him in this instance, but let's say she was developing those feelings for him, which should be reserved for her husband only--that is an emotional affair.

    Have I beat the dead horse enough????

  3. #43
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    Default Re: Inmate in love?

    Quote Originally Posted by sjc View Post
    You are not having an emotional affair with your pen pal if you don't have the same feelings you do for your husband. You hit the nail on the head when you said your feelings are different than feelings you have for your husband. Precisely! Let's say you were torn between the two, inside, your love, your affection, attention was competing for each. This is an emotional affair.

    I'm not saying that everyone who has a pen pal is having an emotional affair. I just found it odd that the op is married and was accepting two phone calls from her pen pal daily, sending pictures, him telling her he loves her. I'm not saying she loves him in this instance, but let's say she was developing those feelings for him, which should be reserved for her husband only--that is an emotional affair.

    Have I beat the dead horse enough????
    Hey, I am the OP 😅
    But still. Yes I talk to him often, yes I share pictures with him (mostly pictures of my trips since I travel frequently and he asks and loves to see the places he's never been - and sadly never will), yes I think he is awesome, but no the feelings I have for him are definitely not the same as what I have with my husband. I don't flirt with him (unless say "thank you" to compliments means flirting to you), I would like to meet him in person one day but I don't daydream about him or do whatever else you mentioned earlier.
    I just want him to feel like someone in the outside world besides his immediate family cares about him cause I can't even imagine how I'd feel if I were stuck in prison at my age and for my whole life, but just the thought of it gives me chills.

  4. #44
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    Default Re: Inmate in love?

    Quote Originally Posted by Perla07 View Post
    Hey, I am the OP ��
    But still. Yes I talk to him often, yes I share pictures with him (mostly pictures of my trips since I travel frequently and he asks and loves to see the places he's never been - and sadly never will), yes I think he is awesome, but no the feelings I have for him are definitely not the same as what I have with my husband. I don't flirt with him (unless say "thank you" to compliments means flirting to you), I would like to meet him in person one day but I don't daydream about him or do whatever else you mentioned earlier.
    I just want him to feel like someone in the outside world besides his immediate family cares about him cause I can't even imagine how I'd feel if I were stuck in prison at my age and for my whole life, but just the thought of it gives me chills.
    Hey Perla07,

    I guess what concerns me is that he seems to have developed feelings for you. With two phone calls per day and "I love you"s, I would wonder how he perceives this relatioship. Does he know you're married? Have you mentioned that you would like friendship only?

  5. #45
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    Default Re: Inmate in love?

    Quote Originally Posted by sjc View Post
    Hey Perla07,

    I guess what concerns me is that he seems to have developed feelings for you. With two phone calls per day and "I love you"s, I would wonder how he perceives this relatioship. Does he know you're married? Have you mentioned that you would like friendship only?
    Yes he knows that I am married. I was dating my husband when we started writing to each other, and he knew I was in a relationship. I told him when we got engaged and when we got married. I mention my husband often in the conversations. It's definitely not a secret.
    We have been just friends this whole time, I never felt the need to mention anything about it because, besides the "I love you"s at the end of our calls, he never said anything about a possible deeper interest.
    Of course if he ever does, I will make things clear. Maybe he just likes to have someone to say "I love you" to...
    I'm thinking perhaps I'll bring it up the subject in a letter and see how it goes.

  6. #46
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    Default Re: Inmate in love?

    Quote Originally Posted by Perla07 View Post
    [...]Maybe he just likes to have someone to say "I love you" to...
    Something along those lines came into my thoughts, but with a slight twist. This is said on the telephone, so there is a chance other people are around him when he's making the call - I have this image of a bank of phones in a long hallway with inmates queuing to use them, but that might just be Hollywood - and he says it to give the impression he's now in a relationship and improve his credibility in the block?
    Epistula enim non erubescit - Marcus Tullius Cicero.

  7. #47
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    Default Re: Inmate in love?

    Quote Originally Posted by DAI View Post
    Something along those lines came into my thought is, but with a slight twist. This is said on the telephone, so there is a chance other people are around him when he's making the call - I have this image of a bank of phones in a long hallway with inmates queuing to use them, but that might just be Hollywood - and he says it to give the impression he's now in a relationship and improve his credibility in the block?
    It could be.
    Sometimes, while we talk, other inmates passing by (I guess) say something to him, I heard that 2 or 3 times and he talkes back. Just random things, but he is definitely not alone when he makes the calls.

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