I've been lurking here for a few days, because I'm gearing up to write to a prisoner. Just something to do really. I feel sorry for those doing hard time, and especially those on death row, since I'm totally against the death penalty. Everybody deserves another chance and I tend to see people who do bad things to others as sick or unfortunate products of their environment and biology, rather than as evil. I'm 100% sure I don't want anything romantic to come out of it. So I'm looking for somebody either much older or much younger and with life without parole preferably. I'd write a man, but I'm afraid of all the hustles that go on in men's prisons and I don't want to be any part of that.

But almost everybody else around here seems to have the primary goal of finding a romantic relationship, and ultimately getting married. My question is, what's wrong with the free world? I know so many people on the outside looking for love. There are available men (and women) all over the place. So what is it about some people's personalities that drive them to search in prison?

I can't help but feel that is a sign of a disfunctional and extremely insecure person. I see it as preying on prisoners because they're easy, desperate, lonely by force. I can imagine and have heard that the failure rate of such relationships is very high. You're using them as a captive audience and they are going to use you for support and money and tell you what you want to hear. It's not hard to play an insecure person, in fact it's child's play. You think if you do all this wonderful stuff for them, that they'll feel they owe you something once they get out? Do you really want a man around because he feels obligated to you? Wouldn't it be better if he really wanted to be with you without the force of guilt? Guilt and payback are a terrible basis for a relationship, even if it somehow lasts. Is that really what you want? Or are you just setting yourself up for a huge allotment of pain and heartache. I find it sad, and pathetic.

I suggest taking up a free world hobby and looking for people who are more likely to be real. Anyway, just my two cents. But what I'm saying seems to be backed up by the numbers. Most relationships that start this way fail. So they say. Not all obviously, but most. Is being used and discarded really going to help with the insecurity problems you already have? I doubt it.

Thank you Dr. Poopydogbone!

Originally Posted by dogbone

I've been lurking here for a few days, because I'm gearing up to write to a prisoner. Just something to do really. I feel sorry for those doing hard time, and especially those on death row, since I'm totally against the death penalty. Everybody deserves another chance and I tend to see people who do bad things to others as sick or unfortunate products of their environment and biology, rather than as evil. I'm 100% sure I don't want anything romantic to come out of it. So I'm looking for somebody either much older or much younger and with life without parole preferably. I'd write a man, but I'm afraid of all the hustles that go on in men's prisons and I don't want to be any part of that.

But almost everybody else around here seems to have the primary goal of finding a romantic relationship, and ultimately getting married. My question is, what's wrong with the free world? I know so many people on the outside looking for love. There are available men (and women) all over the place. So what is it about some people's personalities that drive them to search in prison?

I can't help but feel that is a sign of a disfunctional and extremely insecure person. I see it as preying on prisoners because they're easy, desperate, lonely by force. I can imagine and have heard that the failure rate of such relationships is very high. You're using them as a captive audience and they are going to use you for support and money and tell you what you want to hear. It's not hard to play an insecure person, in fact it's child's play. You think if you do all this wonderful stuff for them, that they'll feel they owe you something once they get out? Do you really want a man around because he feels obligated to you? Wouldn't it be better if he really wanted to be with you without the force of guilt? Guilt and payback are a terrible basis for a relationship, even if it somehow lasts. Is that really what you want? Or are you just setting yourself up for a huge allotment of pain and heartache. I find it sad, and pathetic.

I suggest taking up a free world hobby and looking for people who are more likely to be real. Anyway, just my two cents. But what I'm saying seems to be backed up by the numbers. Most relationships that start this way fail. So they say. Not all obviously, but most. Is being used and discarded really going to help with the insecurity problems you already have? I doubt it.

First of all welcome to the forum. Second I think you need to read a bit more on the forum because your statement that almost everybody here is looking for love is totally wrong. Sure there are people who find love here but as they say you can't help who you fall in love with. I can tell you this that almost no one here starts writing with the intention of finding love. We have people here that were with their partner BEFORE they got locked up. That you would have seen had you read a bit more.
And lets face it with the divorce rates in the world today not even a free world relationship is guaranteed to work.
Also i will say this that feeling sorry for them isnt the way to go calling them desperate and easy not the right thing to say either. If you start writing someone out of pity you wont get very far in your friendship. Most men in there do not want pity and someone feeling sorry for them. I think you need to start writing and then come back with an opinion that is based on your own experience rather than your guesses.

Originally Posted by dogbone

I've been lurking here for a few days, because I'm gearing up to write to a prisoner. Just something to do really. I feel sorry for those doing hard time, and especially those on death row, since I'm totally against the death penalty. Everybody deserves another chance and I tend to see people who do bad things to others as sick or unfortunate products of their environment and biology, rather than as evil. I'm 100% sure I don't want anything romantic to come out of it. So I'm looking for somebody either much older or much younger and with life without parole preferably. I'd write a man, but I'm afraid of all the hustles that go on in men's prisons and I don't want to be any part of that.

But almost everybody else around here seems to have the primary goal of finding a romantic relationship, and ultimately getting married. My question is, what's wrong with the free world? I know so many people on the outside looking for love. There are available men (and women) all over the place. So what is it about some people's personalities that drive them to search in prison?

I can't help but feel that is a sign of a disfunctional and extremely insecure person. I see it as preying on prisoners because they're easy, desperate, lonely by force. I can imagine and have heard that the failure rate of such relationships is very high. You're using them as a captive audience and they are going to use you for support and money and tell you what you want to hear. It's not hard to play an insecure person, in fact it's child's play. You think if you do all this wonderful stuff for them, that they'll feel they owe you something once they get out? Do you really want a man around because he feels obligated to you? Wouldn't it be better if he really wanted to be with you without the force of guilt? Guilt and payback are a terrible basis for a relationship, even if it somehow lasts. Is that really what you want? Or are you just setting yourself up for a huge allotment of pain and heartache. I find it sad, and pathetic.

I suggest taking up a free world hobby and looking for people who are more likely to be real. Anyway, just my two cents. But what I'm saying seems to be backed up by the numbers. Most relationships that start this way fail. So they say. Not all obviously, but most. Is being used and discarded really going to help with the insecurity problems you already have? I doubt it.

WOW!!! We are all getting told off here ooops.

i will just repeat what Xray said.. Thank you Mr poopydogbone.

Originally Posted by dogbone

But almost everybody else around here seems to have the primary goal of finding a romantic relationship, and ultimately getting married. My question is, what's wrong with the free world? I know so many people on the outside looking for love. There are available men (and women) all over the place. So what is it about some people's personalities that drive them to search in prison?

Originally Posted by dogbone

I can't help but feel that is a sign of a disfunctional and extremely insecure person. I see it as preying on prisoners because they're easy, desperate, lonely by force. I can imagine and have heard that the failure rate of such relationships is very high. You're using them as a captive audience and they are going to use you for support and money and tell you what you want to hear. It's not hard to play an insecure person, in fact it's child's play. You think if you do all this wonderful stuff for them, that they'll feel they owe you something once they get out? Do you really want a man around because he feels obligated to you? Wouldn't it be better if he really wanted to be with you without the force of guilt? Guilt and payback are a terrible basis for a relationship, even if it somehow lasts. Is that really what you want? Or are you just setting yourself up for a huge allotment of pain and heartache. I find it sad, and pathetic.

I am glad that you know everything about others, either on the outside or inside of prison walls.

Originally Posted by dogbone

I suggest taking up a free world hobby and looking for people who are more likely to be real. Anyway, just my two cents. But what I'm saying seems to be backed up by the numbers.

So you being here I assume you also didn't find a free world hobby right?

Thank you for your well-though-out, vehemently-researched opinion that you obviously didn't have before you signed up to make your post. I, for one, am looking forward to the many posts that you are sure to share with us on this forum because I know you didn't just post this to rile anyone up.

I'm new here too, i have 4 pp's and of course are planning to marry then divorce each one in turn, leaving my lwop till last! !!!! Oh, and did i mention that my free world relationships have failed due to my crippling insecurities? ? I did? Sorted then!

Just like to say Dogbone im not insecure or disfunctional, i write a guy on death row and yeah he wanted a 'relationship' but im not gonna put my life here on hold and i told him that , we are friends and nothing more i have a man in my life and he knows that.. so if you've got nothing good to say dont say it..

Originally Posted by MoxieBravo

Thank you for your well-though-out, vehemently-researched opinion that you obviously didn't have before you signed up to make your post. I, for one, am looking forward to the many posts that you are sure to share with us on this forum because I know you didn't just post this to rile anyone up.

I always have to laugh about your special SarcMark ahahahaha! It's hilarious.