I've been lurking here for a few days, because I'm gearing up to write to a prisoner. Just something to do really. I feel sorry for those doing hard time, and especially those on death row, since I'm totally against the death penalty. Everybody deserves another chance and I tend to see people who do bad things to others as sick or unfortunate products of their environment and biology, rather than as evil. I'm 100% sure I don't want anything romantic to come out of it. So I'm looking for somebody either much older or much younger and with life without parole preferably. I'd write a man, but I'm afraid of all the hustles that go on in men's prisons and I don't want to be any part of that.
But almost everybody else around here seems to have the primary goal of finding a romantic relationship, and ultimately getting married. My question is, what's wrong with the free world? I know so many people on the outside looking for love. There are available men (and women) all over the place. So what is it about some people's personalities that drive them to search in prison?
I can't help but feel that is a sign of a disfunctional and extremely insecure person. I see it as preying on prisoners because they're easy, desperate, lonely by force. I can imagine and have heard that the failure rate of such relationships is very high. You're using them as a captive audience and they are going to use you for support and money and tell you what you want to hear. It's not hard to play an insecure person, in fact it's child's play. You think if you do all this wonderful stuff for them, that they'll feel they owe you something once they get out? Do you really want a man around because he feels obligated to you? Wouldn't it be better if he really wanted to be with you without the force of guilt? Guilt and payback are a terrible basis for a relationship, even if it somehow lasts. Is that really what you want? Or are you just setting yourself up for a huge allotment of pain and heartache. I find it sad, and pathetic.
I suggest taking up a free world hobby and looking for people who are more likely to be real. Anyway, just my two cents. But what I'm saying seems to be backed up by the numbers. Most relationships that start this way fail. So they say. Not all obviously, but most. Is being used and discarded really going to help with the insecurity problems you already have? I doubt it.