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Thread: What type of inmates get a lot of mail? Do female inmates get more than males?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    Default What type of inmates get a lot of mail? Do female inmates get more than males?

    Noticing that there are a lot more profiles for male inmates than female ones, I was wondering: Do the female inmates who ask for pen pals end up getting a lot more mail than the boys usually do? Does anyone here with a female penpal know?

    I am doing this strictly as a platonic penpal thing, so I have considered if I should be writing female inmates to make it clear that I am not seeking love (I am female myself).
    However, if female inmates tend to get a lot more mail than male inmates, then maybe it is the best use of my time and resources to focus on the guys.

    What do you think? Have your penpals mentioned anything about how much mail they or their friends are getting that would give you any insight into this?

  2. #2
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    Linny's: Happy

    Default Re: What type of inmates get a lot of mail? Do female inmates get more than males?

    It's hard to give one answer that will cover everything. I have quite a few penpals and I found most of them on the "needs mail" list here on WAP. For some of them I'm the only penpal, others write to more people.

    Like you, I'm keeping things platonic between me and my pals. I'm married and I am not looking for romance with any of them. It's one of the things I tell them in the first letter I write, that when they're looking for romance or someone that will give them money on a regular basis, they'd best ignore my letter because I'm not the pal they're looking for in that case.
    So far only one (and I've written to about 15 guys all in all so far in the 20 years I've been doing this) ignored the boundaries I'd set and tried to get me to have phone sex with him. I ended our correspondence when he kept insisting. But all in all I think that keeping things platonic isn't a problem, as long as you're clear and don't send any mixed messages.
    Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. - Janis Joplin

  3. #3
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    Default Re: What type of inmates get a lot of mail? Do female inmates get more than males?

    I agree make it clear from the start and stick to your boundaries. If you do that then it won't matter who you write to.
    My AZ pp has two other regular penpals but gets mail from others who don't stick around and my TX pp wasn't the one I chose but my info was passed to him because the one I wrote had a lot of penpals I think he writes to one other person.

  4. #4
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    Medusa03's: Innocent

    Default Re: What type of inmates get a lot of mail? Do female inmates get more than males?

    Quote Originally Posted by SummerSkies View Post
    Noticing that there are a lot more profiles for male inmates than female ones, I was wondering: Do the female inmates who ask for pen pals end up getting a lot more mail than the boys usually do?
    There are more male profiles than female profiles because there are more male prisoners than female.
    I don't think the females get more mail because there are much less free world men than women who would write letters to prisoners ( or letters in general) so it balances.
    But then I already see as I write this that my theory is not completely correct because it doesn't explain why free world females hardly receive replies from female prisoners. That might mean that female prisoners are drowned in (male) correspondence.

  5. #5

    Default Re: What type of inmates get a lot of mail? Do female inmates get more than males?

    The women I have written to have all said that they and their co-inmates all get a lot of mail, but very little of it is from people anyone would want to corresond regularly with.

    Women do not always want to write to another woman, because they spend their entire lives around other women there. But some do, I have a good female pal now and have had a couple previously.





    To ask well, to answer rightly,
    Are the marks of a wise man:
    Men must speak of men's deeds,
    What happens may not be hidden.
    ~ The Havamal

  6. #6
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    Default Re: What type of inmates get a lot of mail? Do female inmates get more than males?

    Good point that maybe female inmates don't need female penpals because they already spend all their time around women. I didn't think of that.

    I probably will end up focusing on male inmates and just being very clear with them that it is not intended to be a romance. My husband knows that I am doing this. If the inmates want more mail, I might even ask my husband to write to them too, which I imagine would help make it clear there is to be no hanky panky.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: What type of inmates get a lot of mail? Do female inmates get more than males?

    i had a hard time finding women penpals... not sure why but the profiles seem sometimes more like a Dating Profile and that made it difficult to filter someone out who would get along with me. I was hoping that my Husband can write to some females to give them also some positive days ..but he not quite there yet

  8. #8
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    Default Re: What type of inmates get a lot of mail? Do female inmates get more than males?

    Quote Originally Posted by moogirl View Post
    i had a hard time finding women penpals... not sure why but the profiles seem sometimes more like a Dating Profile and that made it difficult to filter someone out who would get along with me. I was hoping that my Husband can write to some females to give them also some positive days ..but he not quite there yet
    Seriously, in EVERY advertisement is the line 'I am looking for a friendship and possibly more' but I noticed that they don't per se want a relationship.

    But what bothers me is that all the females profiles only have a few lines in it, while almost all males write a good introduction.

  9. #9
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    Earthmother's: Lurking

    Default Re: What type of inmates get a lot of mail? Do female inmates get more than males?

    Quote Originally Posted by Schavuit View Post
    Seriously, in EVERY advertisement is the line 'I am looking for a friendship and possibly more' but I noticed that they don't per se want a relationship.

    But what bothers me is that all the females profiles only have a few lines in it, while almost all males write a good introduction.
    I once saw a male advert which consisted of the following introduction: "Write me."

    I was tempted to respond in kind with a letter that simply said: "Why?"

  10. #10
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    Solo56's: In Love

    Default Re: What type of inmates get a lot of mail? Do female inmates get more than males?

    I think that even when an inmate isn't looking for anything more than friendship there is always a possibility that feelings will develop over time with such an intimate relationship as penpalship! I have a much closer relationship with my pals than I do with my regular friends because we discuss so much more and in far greater detail in letters than I do in regular conversation with friends. Both my pals refer to me as their "best friend" I'm their only penpal by their choice. My Ohio pal didn't get a lot of mail from his ad, but my Cowboy did get a lot, especially from chicks who we're looking for a "bad boy boyfriend" in his words.....but I'm guessing that's because the old picture he used in his ad was super hot!! He wasn't looking for a relationship so didn't respond to the letters he received.
    I'll hold you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms

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