Let me first point out that I do not seek to write to 'short timer's' myself, feeling that it takes time to build up a good friendship and IMO that would be far more difficult if the individual I am writing time and concern is spent on her impending release. I experienced a little of that last year when a pp I 'assumed' had a number of years to go was suddenly granted parole. The only hint was a request in one letter asking if there had been any update in her DOC status; there wasn't. I had been asked that previously by other pals and outside of some 'good time' reductions didn't see anything different in theirs. However, she surely must have received the news not long after her last letter to me and that (basically 4 months of writing) was the last I was to hear from her.

But this post is not about me rather with the thought now that one pp of mine has less than a year to go for her halfway house reminding me as to how many ads I come across of women near or less than 1 year remaining updating their ad to highlight that they are "seeking that special someone" and emphasizing how readily they are to relocate.

Now I have certainly read enough posts from those whom (some say) cynically (others say) realistically maintain that the majority of these women are strictly looking for a place to go to for parole reasons, many having lost that option with family and friends who have all but disowned them for their previous behaviour.

Additionally, I am well aware from the posts of so many forums and sites of the HUGE and increasing minority of those (especially men going by a multitude of posts) who are NOT seeking a penpal rather a relationship.

So my question is, how many here have decided to become a penpal for relationship purposes (or at least respond to those women who are) and how do you feel with the possibility that the pp is likely just seeking a short-term 'business relationship/marriage' and most anyone will do!

My opinion has always been if both parties are aware what they are getting into then I see no problems there. On the other hand 'I feel' that those who discovered otherwise are very unlikely to come back or on a forum like this and risk embarrassment and shame so who knows how often this really occurs. However, these sort of ads keep increasing as do those who respond to them "so something must be happening"

I'm really curious about this too...reading about the women who write how sexy they are, looking for a wealthy older business man. Who replies to these ads? Are there really older wealthy business men out there who think one day 'I know, I'll give all my money to a hot chick in prison who I don't even know'. Do they really expect a relationship?

Originally Posted by Xtina

I'm really curious about this too...reading about the women who write how sexy they are, looking for a wealthy older business man. Who replies to these ads? Are there really older wealthy business men out there who think one day 'I know, I'll give all my money to a hot chick in prison who I don't even know'. Do they really expect a relationship?

I've wondered about this to. Oh, its easy enough to figure out why a goodly proportion who make up the 'stereotypical' older, overweight, balding, etc. etc. [loser] guy would contact women in prison figuring there are loads of young, hot desperate chicks who will go out with ME! write.

But these other women who litter their ads with gems like;

Neither race nor age matters; financially secure.

I want a sweet, kind, generous man who will spoil me and love to travel

I am a woman who is used to the finer things in life, have wines, jewelry, cars, perfumes, clothes, foods, etc.

I am seeking an older gentleman that is stable & secure in every area of life.

I love to explore the finer luxuries in life, such as fine food, fine wines, cars, clothes.

And countless others who act like they are on one of those sugardaddy sites, who must have been so used to having endless suckers and saps cater to them (and subsequent grandiose sense of entitlement is largely why they are in prison) that they are still living in a fantasy world, although considering how many older women (I've read enough women in there late 30s and 40s asking for the same and confirmed by several of my pps who state their units are full of women who think this way) it doesn't look like they will wake up anytime soon

Originally Posted by Xtina

I'm really curious about this too...reading about the women who write how sexy they are, looking for a wealthy older business man. Who replies to these ads? Are there really older wealthy business men out there who think one day 'I know, I'll give all my money to a hot chick in prison who I don't even know'. Do they really expect a relationship?

I've always read that as: "sex exchanged for monentary support" myself, but maybe that's just me. That's how I would read it if I were a male, anyhow, and avoid it like the plague. But, if it's all the you've ever known, men take care of me if I give sex of some kind, then that's what they think it's about. I don't think it's meant as, "take care of me because I'm cute," it's "you take care of me, I'll take care of you."

I despise any pp ad that says how sexy they are. Yuck. Even if they are. Still... yuck. That is most definitely in the eye of the beholder. I know that any guy who tells me that he is sexy is an instantaneous turn off.
Is it because... wait for it....
THEY'RE SEXY AND THEY KNOW IT!!! (okay sorry... )

Originally Posted by Stagnated

I've wondered about this to. Oh, its easy enough to figure out why a goodly proportion who make up the 'stereotypical' older, overweight, balding, etc. etc. [loser] guy would contact women in prison figuring there are loads of young, hot desperate chicks who will go out with ME! write.

But these other women who litter their ads with gems like;

Neither race nor age matters; financially secure.

I want a sweet, kind, generous man who will spoil me and love to travel

I am a woman who is used to the finer things in life, have wines, jewelry, cars, perfumes, clothes, foods, etc.

I am seeking an older gentleman that is stable & secure in every area of life.

I love to explore the finer luxuries in life, such as fine food, fine wines, cars, clothes.

And countless others who act like they are on one of those sugardaddy sites, who must have been so used to having endless suckers and saps cater to them (and subsequent grandiose sense of entitlement is largely why they are in prison) that they are still living in a fantasy world, although considering how many older women (I've read enough women in there late 30s and 40s asking for the same and confirmed by several of my pps who state their units are full of women who think this way) it doesn't look like they will wake up anytime soon

And gee, how boring to write to some one like that. What is that about? All about them, apparently. I want fine clothes and cars...? Errrrrrrr... okay. There are men that write ads like that too. "I want a woman of impeccable perfection and grace, one that knows how to treat me right... bla bla bla" People who demand respect but haven't shown any yet... ah, no.

It's so mean but I also don't like "Hey Ladies, Hey Ladeez, Hello My Beautiful Queen" or any of that. Lots of BS going on! You can find people that are not in that BS but I am going to agree that it is MUCH harder in the female ads to find a down to earth one at all. I agree that most of them do seem to be that "looking for a gentleman" thing.

Originally Posted by gooddog

I've always read that as: "sex exchanged for monentary support" myself, but maybe that's just me. That's how I would read it if I were a male, anyhow, and avoid it like the plague. But, if it's all the you've ever known, men take care of me if I give sex of some kind, then that's what they think it's about. I don't think it's meant as, "take care of me because I'm cute," it's "you take care of me, I'll take care of you."

I despise any pp ad that says how sexy they are. Yuck. Even if they are. Still... yuck. That is most definitely in the eye of the beholder. I know that any guy who tells me that he is sexy is an instantaneous turn off.
Is it because... wait for it....
THEY'RE SEXY AND THEY KNOW IT!!! (okay sorry... )

I agree but what I find soooo bizarre.....yes she'll trade sex for money from this older guy, but how the heck does she give him the sex if she has a 5, 10, 20+ year sentence?! It's not like she can just rock up tomorrow night and satisfy him in exchange for a few bucks

That's where the rich man comes into it. She wants someone to throw enough money at a lawyer that she will get out soon. Money talks.

Originally Posted by gooddog

And gee, how boring to write to some one like that. What is that about? All about them, apparently. I want fine clothes and cars...? Errrrrrrr... okay. There are men that write ads like that too. "I want a woman of impeccable perfection and grace, one that knows how to treat me right... bla bla bla" People who demand respect but haven't shown any yet... ah, no.

It's so mean but I also don't like "Hey Ladies, Hey Ladeez, Hello My Beautiful Queen" or any of that. Lots of BS going on! You can find people that are not in that BS but I am going to agree that it is MUCH harder in the female ads to find a down to earth one at all. I agree that most of them do seem to be that "looking for a gentleman" thing.

Actually, while those horrid, greedy and selfish persons do stand out they still are only a minority of the ads, and certainly one's that I immediately discard. No, my issue has never been with them, because whatever one may think about those who post such as least they are forthright. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for others who don't even use the subtler 'code words' I've learned to avoid and find myself subjected to games and crap and outright lies. Where it seems they only get back to someone who doesn't profess undying love after a short time and send them lots of $$$ when the other guys get tired of being used or drop you entirely if they hook a BIG FISH.

One of these very recently updated her ad here and used some very intriguing words. She still has a few years to go and with 'fed' she's getting out when it says she is, so it will be difficult to tempt those who prefer writing 'short timer's', however, when her time comes close I have little doubt she'll hook someone and I have to say I feel sorry for whomever it is. Ah, but who knows, perhaps she (and some of these others) will change in the intervening years. I've certainly held to the belief that 'eventually' most do mature and 'get it' which certainly is a big reason that I prefer writing those in my age group.

But let's not forget that it works both ways. There are probably just as many women in the free world who, despite their claims to the contrary, go into penpalling with the sole intention of finding a boyfriend. They claim to want to "reach out" and "bring some sunshine" and other such phrases which have made appearances on these forums but interestingly will only "reach out" to short-term single men of the same age and who are reasonably good looking. We've all seen it here before.

I have even seen threads on other forums where women want a penpal only in a state where conjugal visits are permitted. They send a bit of money and a few flirty letters his way and in return get some a bit of sex from time to time.

I don't mean to over simplify or to over sentimentalise.

For many women who have grown up in the affluent world, a date consists of sex in exchange for a meal and a movie. Most people follow the dominant paradigm.

Even in the lean years of 1960s Australia, it was little different. My first date with a girl consisted of scrumping for apples, sneaking under the fence of the drive-in theatre, and sone amatory groping on the walk back home.

(Come to think of it, my first date with a guy was pretty much the same, except that it involved beer and bicycles).