Hi, I need a little help here. I’ve started writing D a little over a month ago. I got responses to my first two letters, but then I went a little overboard.. I have written him 4 letters in the meantime and planning a fifth but I don’t know if I should do that and just wait for a reply. I don’t want to overwhelm him. He said he really wants to know more about me and that he's on his toes at mail call now, but when is it just too much? I guess I don’t want to ruin this. What are your thoughts or experiences?

Hi Suzyy, ive only been writing about 6 or so months, its so tempting to keep picking that pen up every day, is'nt it lol. I explained to one of my pp's that i'm the sort of person who when i see cards or printouts i think a certain person would like, i go ahead and get them. I didnt want him to feel overwhelmed and feel obliged to spend everything on stamps to keep up! I think its important though, not to go full steam ahead when you may not to be able to keep up that pace constantly.
I hope this helps a little, there are many regular posters on here who have been writing for years, i'm sure they will be able to give you some fab advice!

I think your probably better asking him you know? I thought the same as you but he actually told me right at the start he thought he would be overwhelmed but he wasnt and wanted as many letters as I could send.

Good luck.

I agree with Fee, ask him! It couldn't hurt anything.

I would say that wait for a reply. And a steady letter flow is probably best way to go. I mean it's easy to write a lot in the beginning but can you keep up that way long time? You have been writing just for a month now, so you really can't tell. Just try to chill, you have all time in the world to increase the amount of the letters in circulating.

I would ask too. I have 4 PP's and they are all different on their mail preferences. I have one who loves shorter letters more often because he is not big on writing long letters I have another who no matter how long my letter I always get between 5-10 pages as a response. I tell them all though that I may send out shorter letters when I get bored/have something I want to tell them but that I will be sending a longer one soon if they want to wait. It really depends on stamps/paper sometimes for them and I get busy sometimes and try to let them know so they don't think I just quit writing them. Maybe you could start the next letter but wait to mail it when you hear from him. Space them out a little till you know what works for you both.

I think you should wait a while and see what his replies to you are like. If he says he loved all the mail that came his way, then sure, go ahead and send what you feel like and maybe tell him that you enjoy sending mail when you feel like it. Maybe don't expect him to be able to match your pace and return letter for letter, and if all else fails, like the others said, ask him!

Each penpal is an individual in their own situation, with different expectations and overload threshhold. As long as you make it clear that you dont expect letter-for-letter responses, I don't think you can negatively overwhelm them no matter how huge the barrage of letters might be.

My corrlinks penpal gets anxious if he doesn't get an email from me at least twice a day. The emails are neccessarily short - one or two paragraphs - because he has to pay for time spent reading them, as well as typing his reply. I supplement those with a weekly long letter, fleshing out the detail of the emails. About once a month I also send him an envelope stuffed with ephemera - restaurant menus, postcards, newpaper cuttings, flyers about concerts, church bulletins, etc.

My death row penpal likes a weekly long letter, almost like a detailed diary of my week. I also send him picture-postcards frequently, which he's allowed to decorate his cell with, He tells me his house is a walk-in diorama of Australia.

There are all sorts of variations, talk to your friend about expectations, and you will soon settle in to a pattern that works for you both.

I think everyones advise on this subject has been good. I am sorry your pp will be happy with all the extra mail. I send my pp extra letters all the time. At first I use to say you dont have to feel you have to write back if it was only a letter of three or so pages as most of our letter are long letter of at least 15 pages.
I think wait till you get a response from your pp and see how he reacts. You will know bythe reply. I am sure there is nothing to worry about though but be patient as he might have run out of stamps or writing material. Let us know how you get on and happy writing .

Originally Posted by Suzyyy

Hi, I need a little help here. I’ve started writing D a little over a month ago. I got responses to my first two letters, but then I went a little overboard.. I have written him 4 letters in the meantime and planning a fifth but I don’t know if I should do that and just wait for a reply. I don’t want to overwhelm him. He said he really wants to know more about me and that he's on his toes at mail call now, but when is it just too much? I guess I don’t want to ruin this. What are your thoughts or experiences?

As far as mail, i have discovered there is no such thing as "too much."

Just as others have said, so long as he understands you do not expect anything in return, meaning letter for letter as i am sure he would be more than happy to receive a bunch of mail from a new friend, much like a breath of fresh air.