I have read on here that this might be overwhelming to some people, just a word of caution.

Originally Posted by JoshA

I have read on here that this might be overwhelming to some people, just a word of caution.

This is true, especially when you add mental health issues in the mix.

If Suzyyy is going to ask him how he feels, that would involve sending off another letter before she has received a response.

There is nothing wrong with writing a lot, but maybe making a big envelope out of it all rather than several smaller ones. Inmates DO get easily overwhelmed, and also you don't want to raise their expectations; you are enthusiastic to write lots now, but in a few months you might be down to just a couple of sheets of paper every 2 weeks and they might start to wonder if they have done something wrong or to upset you because you are writing less. Once that thought is in their heads, it is extremely difficult to change it.

Most people do like a lot of mail, but if he hasn't replied yet, beyond the first couple of letters (and you don't say how long a time frame we're talking about here) I would wait for his next response before I sent anything more.

Originally Posted by sunray's wench

you are enthusiastic to write lots now, but in a few months you might be down to just a couple of sheets of paper every 2 weeks and they might start to wonder if they have done something wrong or to upset you because you are writing less. Once that thought is in their heads, it is extremely difficult to change it.

Most people do like a lot of mail, but if he hasn't replied yet, beyond the first couple of letters (and you don't say how long a time frame we're talking about here) I would wait for his next response before I sent anything more.

Thats a good point and exactly what happened with us...at the start I wrote loads to him but as the months passed the letters got a bit shorter. No-ones fault I just couldnt keep up with it all the time but I explained that to him because he noticed and asked. All was fine and he understood. Which was great I wouldnt know what to do really if he didnt.

I started with one letter, wait for a response then as we wrote I said I hated waiting 11 days for a response so we picked up pace. Now I send 2-4 per week but not all of those are serious, I send quizzes or funny things I've seen, food that looks good etx and always say reply when you can no rush. That may she the pressure off.

My pen-pal asked me straight up if I wanted to write once a week. Both PP's i've had have basically said they want me to send anything I feel like writing, usually with exclamation marks haha. So if it hasn't been mentioned at all, maybe talk to him about it first.

My PP once said something to the effect "I didn't send you a card because I had just sent you a letter, and I don't wanna freak you out". I explained to her that anytime she wants to write me she can, I'm not going to freak out on her. At this point we have been writing for about a month and a half, and we have probably sent about fifteen to twenty a piece. So I say go for it, if you feel like writing then wright to him.

Thank you all for your advice. I did send him that fifth letter where I explained to him he doesn’t have to reply to everything I write because I know it’s expensive. I still didn’t get a reply but I send the first letter out on July 11th so the first date I could expect a reply would be the 27th. I’m really hoping to get one this weekJ Fingers crossed!

Five letters in just over 2 weeks would be overwhelming for my man, that's for sure. But for my PP it would probably be about right. Everyone's different.

Remember also that you may not be the only person who has responded to his ad. He may have had 10 or 20 responses. If they all sent 5 letters in 2 weeks he will be almost drowning in mail. There is a tendency on here for people to assume that they are the only person who writes to that particular inmate.

I write a JPay every day and he isn't overwhelmed. He loves it. You are right though everyone is different and you have to gauge how they write and that takes a bit of time. It would be nice to think that your pen pals would be drowning in mail but I think that's the exception rather than the norm.