Leaving is always hard! I have not been in that situation when it comes to this circumstance, but I was married to a man in the military and always saying goodbye was part of it. It was hardest when I was the one who had to drive away! Just try not to harp on not wanting to leave, or thinking about having to. In my opinion, it just ruined the time I DID have left because I was always so sad about it having to come to and end. Then I'd just regret not living in the moment instead of debbie downing myself about leaving.

Don't look back! When the last visit of the trip comes to an end and the guard comes to the table and says "your time is up, sir" to my man I always start to cry. But I pull myself together and force myself to leave without looking back to see them take him through the door. I know if I look back I won't be able to drive home.

Be glad you gave phone calls between the visits! Those of us with husbands/fiances/boyfriends/wives/girlfriends in Texas don't have that. And we survive between visits somehow.

Originally Posted by melanieann

but one thing i want to ask you all is how do you cope when you have to go home ??

allow yourself to cry. scream when you get in the car if you have to. then you start planning your next trip.

I dont cry at the end of the visit, that usually happens as the plane takes off and I'm on my way home. But like Feb, I don't look back in the visit room once we've said goodbye. I walk out with my head held high and a big smile on my face regardless of how I'm actually feeling.

I will try not to cry ha!! like A tells me its not goodbye its later...... he asked me to marry him last night. I have lots to look forward to next weekend, we laugh and have so much fun together ( well what we can have in that place). Hutchinson Kansas there is not alot going on ha! ha! next time i will pick a hotel with a bar ha!

I'm not sure how crying is ever "handled" in the visiting room? I'm sure it happens but...? That's probably a difficult and emotionally loaded situation, then.

I see nothing wrong with letting it out once you're out of there, though! When you're alone you can do anything you want!

True about trying to be in the present moment... hard as that can be sometimes.

I have been asked to leave a visiting room for crying too much and "upsetting and distressing other visitors". I was in my early 20s and it was the first time I had seen him locked up. It was just the shock of seeing him looking so different to how he was a few days earlier when he was free. I wasn't prepared for it at all.

Originally Posted by februarymoon

I have been asked to leave a visiting room for crying too much and "upsetting and distressing other visitors". I was in my early 20s and it was the first time I had seen him locked up. It was just the shock of seeing him looking so different to how he was a few days earlier when he was free. I wasn't prepared for it at all.

Yeah, I can just imagine. I think it's very complicated for everyone in that room with the "showing of emotion" and yet... what the heck else could there be in that room but lots of that, on every end of the spectrum probably!! I've often wondered if it's really hard in some way on the inmates to have highly emotional interactions in there. (Not that people are bad for having them!!!!) Just... must be very hard to have to stuff it back at times for the sake of smooth sailing and yet I could see how you'd want to get good at it.

Originally Posted by melanieann

I will try not to cry ha!! like A tells me its not goodbye its later...... he asked me to marry him last night. I have lots to look forward to next weekend, we laugh and have so much fun together ( well what we can have in that place). Hutchinson Kansas there is not alot going on ha! ha! next time i will pick a hotel with a bar ha!

What did you say???

I said no. But i never said never !!! I am still married to my ex so that all takes time and i am not ready to do the marry me thing yet. I what to come and see A alot first and one day at a time is good.

I am having a good time here not much going on but its ok !!!!! but next time there has to be a bar at the hotel ha!