One of my penpals has just received his first visit from loved ones after 15 months of incarceration.
He is fast fading back into gloom.
What can I say to him?
I can hardly say: "Cheer up old chap, you might get another visit in another fifteen months."

I don't think you can say anything to make it better. I would just keep sending him letters and/or e-mails and let him know somebody is thinking of him.

Just do what you can to be consistent in his life. Just that one person being constant can help take some of the bite off the gloom.

Thanks guys!

I talk to him via corrlinks, and there are 2-6 emails going back and forth every day. I will stay constant (to my mind: steadfast) for him.

Yeah Silas, that is all you can do really, Be constant, be supportive, and maybe add a little extra to each letter. Some lighthearted, funny tidbit, to keep him smiling, and take his mind off of the tough times.

We are in exactly this situation right now. We had a visit three weeks ago and we are both going through the post-visit blues that we always get afterwards. Mine usually start when I walk out if the visiting room but this time I was in a high for about a week after the visit but the blues have hit me hard now. His most recent letters since the visit have been very depressive.

When he goes through his low points I have to step back a little and just love him through it from a distance. Some people will increase their contact once an inmate starts to show signs of depression but in our case he starts to feel suffocated or smothered and he needs space to just be.

I have heard that visits can be very depressing, even to the point that some offenders don't want to have them.

I have wondered about that with my man. The euphoria we have during the visits is amazing but the immediate weeks afterwards are hellish and I wonder if the visits are worth it. Would it be better if I didn't go at all? I suppose the only way to know that would be to stop going. But I can't.

Originally Posted by JoshA

I have heard that visits can be very depressing, even to the point that some offenders don't want to have them.

Yeah my pp gets relieved when the visits with her kids and mom end.She says it's too depressing.Can't live with them,can't live without them...

Originally Posted by JoshA

I have heard that visits can be very depressing, even to the point that some offenders don't want to have them.

That's how my pp feels. Except in his case instead of depression he feels tremendous anxiety, like wishes they would go and doesn't like to wait for it to start and all that. He says people from the free world look so weird and different to him and that everyone is "looking at him."