I was on the phone today with A. He went on to ask me what do people think of men in prison ?? he has been in a long time and has 5 years left. He really had know idea what people think and what people say to me when i tell people about him. My heart really hurt for him !!!! you may think i am daft but it really got to me. We had to cut off the phone call but i know he will ask again and i don't know what to say to him. His crime is bad but hes not that man anymore but you know what people are like when you say your man is in prison. The truth will hurt him but i always tell him the truth or should i sugar coat it a little not for him to worry.
What would you all say to him ??? help me out on this one please.
To be honest, I'm surprised he even wondered. I thought anyone who think twice about it would realize that most people are judgemental about (ex) convicts, whether it's fair or not.
I am not saying I agree with them, I'm just stating the fact. We all know what kind of reaction we can provoke when we tell people we are writing to inmates, and the reason we are concerned about it is because we know most people would not react well...
What would I tell him? hmm... the truth! But you can put it simply without hurting him too much: some people despise them (most of the time because they are scared), some people think they deserve a second chance and that they are not worthless
I would tell him that society molds people to generalize criminals in that they are all bad and are incapable of change. This has been a mindset for a very long time and I am sure that it will not change anytime soon. I told R that when he gets out, he needs to only do well for himself, to prove it to himself, but everyone else will just happen to be watching. We cannot change the people around us be we can make ourselves better people regardless. As L.M. Montgomery said, We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward in the future with us.
Oasis it come as a bit of a surprise to me to. I always tell him the truth it just got to me a little you know. He really thinks that people are ok with me and him. Its the first time we have talked about it today. I told him that it does not matter about other people think and that i love him. He said he does not want to make my life difficult lol bless him. I have an autistic son my life is hard anyway and i got a thick skin lol i will talk to him again thanks Oasis xx
When I saw this thread I thought it was going to be about a marriage proposal!
My man asks what people think about him specifically, not about what people think of prisoners. He's been out in the free world and he knows what people think of prisoners. He may even have had the same ideas about them himself before he joined them. He asks what my family and friends thought when I told them he'd been arrested yet again and ended up in prison yet again. He also asks what was discussed about his case on the Internet.
I would be honest with him. If he's coming out at all then he needs to be prepared for the reaction he's going to get when he tells people he's done time.
He asked me to marry him the other week !!! but me i like to go nice and slow lol he said he will ask again next year and every year after that. I have two feet on the floor and two young kids so yep he did ask me.
I will be honest he needs to know for when he gets out !! thank you xx
Well I got asked the same question before, but we're not couple, just friends. He was like, hey what do your friends and family think about me?LOLL to be honest it was kinda hard to answer but as others have said, just tell him the truth..BUT tell him what YOU think about him and others' judgment would not affect what you think about him, since the pre-conceived notion our society have about prisoners and things related to them are mostly negative, can't blame them but all you can do is stick by him and I guess that's all that matters.
I am surprised he really wonders what most people think. Well.."B" was sharing some concerns regarding that in one of his last letters...he said...Oh, WOW... so you have my picture on your phone...I am honestly a little worried about the negative thoughts people will try to put in your head when they learn you're writing a convict So I told him we're going to be fine, because I actually give a &%^( about what other people think or say. Anyway...I had a positive experience at work...a lot of times I write a letter at work when it's slow and one of my co-workers asked me...what were you writing all day? (which generally is pretty rude to ask) but I intentionally told him (to test the water) that I am writing to my friend in prison and he was all amazed what a kind and genuine person I am and what a nice thing to do ... HAHA... that looser did not even consider that I could write him for selfish reasons so I thought it was SO funny!