Even though I haven't been writing that long I already know I hate lockdowns, as my guy says they are so inconsiderate to have done xyz I can't mail my letter, lol. My question is how do you guys stop from going crazy? I make up all these scenarios in my head of why a letter is late etc lol. I know it's a part of life and it's definitely teaching me patience. I just wanted some advice from some veterans. Thanks!

Originally Posted by bubblelishis25

Even though I haven't been writing that long I already know I hate lockdowns, as my guy says they are so inconsiderate to have done xyz I can't mail my letter, lol. My question is how do you guys stop from going crazy? I make up all these scenarios in my head of why a letter is late etc lol. I know it's a part of life and it's definitely teaching me patience. I just wanted some advice from some veterans. Thanks!

Inconsiderate?????

Lockdowns happen for many different reasons, but if it is to find weapons that could be used against others then I'm all for them. An inmate's time is not his own, that's what you need to remember. There will ALWAYS be times when mail is "late", and you just have to go and find something to do that distracts you. You wont stop worrying, but you can stop dwelling on it.

Originally Posted by bubblelishis25

Even though I haven't been writing that long I already know I hate lockdowns, as my guy says they are so inconsiderate to have done xyz I can't mail my letter, lol. My question is how do you guys stop from going crazy? I make up all these scenarios in my head of why a letter is late etc lol. I know it's a part of life and it's definitely teaching me patience. I just wanted some advice from some veterans. Thanks!

i'm used to the lockdown thing so i guess it doesn't even phase me really. R goes on lockdown every 90 days for a week or two, depending on how fast they want to get it done in addition to the unit lockdowns every 6 months (i think? i can't remember how that goes) which they may or may not even go on, depending on if the every-90-day-lockdown happened within a week or so of the unit lockdown. if he's going to be writing a big letter he'll usually just wait until they do his cell search so they don't go tossing his letter everywhere.

Yea I think he was trying to make laugh and not focus on the the real reason they were locked down. Thanks for the words of encouragement!

My guy doesnt mind lockdowns. I think sometimes he prefers it just to get time to himself for a while. He makes sure he has his basic needs and stamps and hes set. I dont mind them I still get my mail so all good.

Mine too. He says that,in a way,it's peaceful.

My guy can't get to the mail box which he hates

I got a letter Friday from my pen pal in Illinois that said he was on lockdown. They threw away his address book during the search and he had to wait for a letter from me to be able to write back. Even then it really only delayed it a week. However, he has a typewriter he uses and because they were on lockdown he couldn't go get another ribbon. Rather than write me a letter because he says he hates his handwriting he typed it up. It was very hard reading 6 pages of very light ink!

Because I had never had any experience with prisons before, once I got to know my pp well enough to care about when stuff came and went, I really had to learn alllllllllllll about lockdowns! I think we just "don't get it" because out here, no one tells us that for a a week or whatever amount of time, we're going to sit in our room. When you start to get to know their lives and how they live and all the things that can affect it... it becomes a lot easier to not take it personally.

For instance: my pp just got moved to a new level which is GREAT for him, a positive move, I'm all for it. But it's total crap for my phone calls. There's ONE functioning phone and a lot more guys being let out on the tier at once, diving for the phone. He's explained it to me and says that they don't hog the phone for hours while 25 people wait in line, it's just not right. I get it. It's not about me. I don't take it personally. But he told me that a lot of women DO take it personally and give their guys crap over it. Maybe they just don't really realize the situation, that the guys are not sitting in there just saying "eh, I don't feel like calling or writing"... there's usually something making that happen, on many levels.

*unless of course they really DON'T wanna talk to you, ha ha ha!

That's a very good point, gooddog. It's so easy to use our own experiences and our perceptions of prison when trying to picture what their life is like. At visitation my man said he didn't have as much time to write anymore following his move. I glared at him and asked what he does all day. Considering I work 40 hours a week, commute 1.5 hours each way and I still find time to write...

But everything takes so long to do in prison because it's all done manually. It takes him forever to wash his clothes - I just chuck then in the machine while I'm doing something else. The commissary run turns into a whole day fiasco - I have my groceries picked, packed and delivered. Showering takes a few hours to herd them all together and escort them to the neighbouring building due to the boiler being out of action in his building.