Thank you fee!

Originally Posted by stellar

Thank you fee!

your welcome

Hi and welcome

hello, welcome and happy writing

as all the other members know, I've already had my lesson in patience...
waiting time is horrible. but the more you wait for your first letter the more excited you are when it finally arrives!!!

where are you from? and how did you get to wap.com?

Originally Posted by stellar

OK, so I sent a one-page letter along with a regular photo of myself doing nothing specific.

But I feel kind of queasy now. Something tells me I won't get an answer...

Mox & all the others are dead on, don't worry about it! I was so confident when I wrote my first few letters that I didn't even think about not getting replies back when I first started. Not in an arrogant way at all, I just didn't think it would happen and until about a month ago, I got replies from everybody I wrote to-one person did not out of MANY, so that's pretty good. Everybody I write to says that I'm just too interesting-not so sure I buy that to the extent that they claim, but that's really neither here nor there. I really personally don't think I'm any better than anyone else. Anyhow, I digress. You WILL get a reply from someone, be it the one you wrote to or someone else, don't get discouraged if this one doesn't reply to you because there are almost 8,000 other choices out there on WAP. Lots of fish in the sea. Best of luck, don't die of anxiety I know the waiting time sucks pretty bad especially at the beginning but it will just amp up the excitement that much more!!! Have fun with it, don't worry too much, & happy writing!!!

Thanks again for all your replies!

But now I’ve found some rather disturbing stuff in articles and forums…
E.g. Why are women drawn to men behind bars? | World news | The Guardian & why do women want relationships with men in prison - Topix

I didn’t read it all, couldn’t stand it really. Since I’ve read here that some of you ladies are in a relationship with your PP, I thought I’d ask your view on it. I’m sorry if you find it offensive (like I did), I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings, am just a bit worried.

My reasons for writing an inmate are to reach out to someone in need, an opportunity for me to grow as a person, get to know more about the way the Texas prison system works and just because it sounds like an interesting thing to do.

But these stories are making me thinking maybe I shouldn’t have written after all? Naturally I know that there can be scammers out there, like any other place, but one would think it wasn’t the norm, or these penpal sites wouldn’t exist, would they?

I mean, I have no money to give so I won’t be sending anyone money, but how are you supposed to know if the PP is lying to you or using you in any other way?

I’m starting to think that maybe my queasy feeling was more about that this person actually WILL write to me?

Am I being weird?

This article writes about extremes scenarios. I'm sure that not many of our pen pals are having sex with their attorney in the interview room.

My man's attorney is a married man. Not my man's usual type!

Originally Posted by stellar

Thanks again for all your replies!

But now I’ve found some rather disturbing stuff in articles and forums…
E.g. Why are women drawn to men behind bars? | World news | The Guardian & why do women want relationships with men in prison - Topix

I didn’t read it all, couldn’t stand it really. Since I’ve read here that some of you ladies are in a relationship with your PP, I thought I’d ask your view on it. I’m sorry if you find it offensive (like I did), I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings, am just a bit worried.

My reasons for writing an inmate are to reach out to someone in need, an opportunity for me to grow as a person, get to know more about the way the Texas prison system works and just because it sounds like an interesting thing to do.

But these stories are making me thinking maybe I shouldn’t have written after all? Naturally I know that there can be scammers out there, like any other place, but one would think it wasn’t the norm, or these penpal sites wouldn’t exist, would they?

I mean, I have no money to give so I won’t be sending anyone money, but how are you supposed to know if the PP is lying to you or using you in any other way?

I’m starting to think that maybe my queasy feeling was more about that this person actually WILL write to me?

Am I being weird?

Good old Guardian Just wait til you find the Daily Fail's take on it all.

There are lots and lots of threads on WAP that discuss whether someone is being lied to, scammed, or not scammed, red flags, etc etc. How do you deal with those thoughts when you meet someone new in the free world? Do you automatically assume they are out to get you, or do you give them the benefit of the doubt until they do something to indicate that they are not trust-worthy? Apply the same common sense when writing to an inmate. They can only take advantage of you if you let them.

It is perfectly possible to write to inmates and NOT fall in love. I've been doing it for years and have never fallen for an inmate. My husband is in prison, but he was in the free world when we met (not on parole, probation or anything). I've had friends over the years who have done time in prison here in the UK too. Do they scam me? Absolutely not. Have they appreciated someone keeping in touch while they do their time? Definitely.

Newspapers, even the reliable ones, exist to give entertainment as well as news coverage. Unless you are writing to someone who is doing time for fraud or identity theft, you probably have nothing to worry about.

There are just as many wierd individuals on the outside who actively seek out relationships with inmates, as there are inmates who play others. Frankly, they deserve each other.

Originally Posted by stellar

Thanks again for all your replies!

But now I’ve found some rather disturbing stuff in articles and forums…
E.g. Why are women drawn to men behind bars? | World news | The Guardian & why do women want relationships with men in prison - Topix

I didn’t read it all, couldn’t stand it really. Since I’ve read here that some of you ladies are in a relationship with your PP, I thought I’d ask your view on it. I’m sorry if you find it offensive (like I did), I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings, am just a bit worried.

My reasons for writing an inmate are to reach out to someone in need, an opportunity for me to grow as a person, get to know more about the way the Texas prison system works and just because it sounds like an interesting thing to do.

But these stories are making me thinking maybe I shouldn’t have written after all? Naturally I know that there can be scammers out there, like any other place, but one would think it wasn’t the norm, or these penpal sites wouldn’t exist, would they?

I mean, I have no money to give so I won’t be sending anyone money, but how are you supposed to know if the PP is lying to you or using you in any other way?

I’m starting to think that maybe my queasy feeling was more about that this person actually WILL write to me?

Am I being weird?

Iv read this before honestly its a load of rubbish....You should write definitely its how you feel and to be honest you will develop a thick skin regarding all of that rubbish there will be more. My mans ex sent me a message and called me old and lonely it was quite pathetic. I dont know her so really it was just a case of saying whatever!
People can be very ignorant if they dont know something you hear it and read about it all the time.
Of course there are scammers out there there is everywhere you just have to figure that out and you will be able to. If your pp is lying then you will be bable to tell that too in the letters. Fingers crossed you dont get a liar or scammer. If you do then there are plenty of genuine guys out there so try again until you find the one you can trust in.
If you read things it can put you off and it doe put negative feelings in your head. It did to me right at the start but not now.

No your not being weird your just being cautious. Try not to worry so much.