So, after writing my pps since April(2012), I finally told my mom about it. I'm 21..and I just recently changed my major to criminology (which she also strongly disagreed with). She believes that idea of communicating with "criminals" (which I refer to as "offenders") is too dangerous. I told her and she flipped..she told me they were a waste of my time and that it's one thing to do for a career but "with your free time Morgan???" She is convinced that I will be manipulated and fall in love despite how many times I told her I was writing for friendship and rehabilitation purposes only. On top of that she insist that they are all the same and will never change..she says growing up in a bad place isn't an excuse because people overcome it everyday. Despite this, my opinion and my beliefs remain the same. She told me to stop, I reminded her that I am an adult and changed the subject that we eventually returned to. Towards the end of our 2 hours argument/debate/conversation I got her to admit that SOME people do/can and will change and that they are not all the same. She doesn't want me to pursue this passion but I expected her to be overprotective.

My inquiry is if any of you have gotten similar reactions? Were you able to convince them otherwise? Did it make you stop writing? I just what to know what you've experienced in relation to this..

Wait until you tell her you're marrying one! I have that conversation to look forward to this weekend.

Originally Posted by februarymoon

Wait until you tell her you're marrying one! I have that conversation to look forward to this weekend.

Best of luck! I couldn't imagine..

I started writing to inmates when I was just 18 or 19 (so long ago, I forget exactly when) and still living at home. My parents knew, but didn't have much of a reaction. My parents tended not to react to much really, they took the line that the more fuss they made, the more unlikely I would be to stop doing whatever. But that atmosphere allowed a good arena for discussion and I never felt I had to hide anything from them. Generally I could do whatever I wanted as long as I paid for it myself and didn't hurt anyone in the process.

It is a big sadness to me that neither parent got to meet Hubby. My dad knew about him, but died just after hubby and I got to know each other.

Your mother wants the best for you, but that is the best based on what she knows. She doesn't appear to know much about inmates beyond what the media tells her. If it is what you want to do with your life then go for it, but be gentle with her.

Well, I'm over 30 and when my mother found out about this couple of months ago, her first worry/thought was that these criminals will come to Finland right away after they are released to harm me. Truth to be told she still worries that but nowadays she also worries that they will escape and do that or they will take contact with their surely several Finnish criminal contacts and make them harm me And when my pp sent me Kool Aid powder, she was sure that it contained drugs. I was pretty sure, too. I mean if an American inmate gets his hands into drugs in the prison, he most definitely seals it professional lookingly into a Kool Aid pack and sends to his pp to Finland. LOL

I'm SO sorry that your mother feels that way. But hopefully she won't be like that after a decade like mine..

Well, I'm over 30 and when my mother found out about this couple of months ago, her first worry/thought was that these criminals will come to Finland right away after they are released to harm me. Truth to be told she still worries that but nowadays she also worries that they will escape and do that or they will take contact with their surely several Finnish criminal contacts and make them harm me And when my pp sent me Kool Aid powder, she was sure that it contained drugs. I was pretty sure, too. I mean if an American inmate gets his hands into drugs in the prison, he most definitely seals it professional lookingly into a Kool Aid pack and sends to his pp to Finland. LOL

I'm SO sorry that your mother feels that way. But hopefully she won't be like that after a decade like mine..

- - - Updated - - -

Well, I'm over 30 and when my mother found out about this couple of months ago, her first worry/thought was that these criminals will come to Finland right away after they are released to harm me. Truth to be told she still worries that but nowadays she also worries that they will escape and do that or they will take contact with their surely several Finnish criminal contacts and make them harm me And when my pp sent me Kool Aid powder, she was sure that it contained drugs. I was pretty sure, too. I mean if an American inmate gets his hands into drugs in the prison, he most definitely seals it professional lookingly into a Kool Aid pack and sends to his pp to Finland. LOL

I'm SO sorry that your mother feels that way. But hopefully she won't be like that after a decade like mine..

- - - Updated - - -

Well, I'm over 30 and when my mother found out about this couple of months ago, her first worry/thought was that these criminals will come to Finland right away after they are released to harm me. Truth to be told she still worries that but nowadays she also worries that they will escape and do that or they will take contact with their surely several Finnish criminal contacts and make them harm me And when my pp sent me Kool Aid powder, she was sure that it contained drugs. I was pretty sure, too. I mean if an American inmate gets his hands into drugs in the prison, he most definitely seals it professional lookingly into a Kool Aid pack and sends to his pp to Finland. LOL

I'm SO sorry that your mother feels that way. But hopefully she won't be like that after a decade like mine..

Geomab: one of the reasons I don't bother talking to my family about this is because they have no ability to understand it . A fear based reaction that may be MEANT out of protection and "what's best for you" but unfortunately in my case leaves little room for discussion of any kind. They are old school people and not I or anyone else is going to change that any time soon. So when I say "I don't bother" I don't even mean it in a mean or frusrated way just simply: they have no way of understanding, no skills to go there. It's okay, that's their world. I have mine. I'm not saying you were intentionally seeking approval but in a way, maybe we all are because it's human. We WANT to share the things that are imporant to us in life with those we would hold as close. There's not always going to be ways to reach an understanding about that.

I'm WAY (way!) older than you and my parents (both are still alive) still can't believe that I go places by myself, like, travel alone and all that. Absolutely unheard of in their world. When I say old school I mean OOOOOOOOLD school. So that's why I don't bother breeching certain concepts. Not going to be a bridge there. But maybe there can be with you. Sometimes if you just go quietly about your business and be a success at it, people can find less to be in a uproar about with your life.

And I also got the "you can't do that/ you shouldn't do that" thing with a certain career choice I was thinking about making. I let it stop me all those years ago. It is only now that I am considering re-doing what I should have done a long time ago without the need for family approval. So I know what you are talking about and how it feels. Do it anyway. They'll still love you.

I told my mum and showed her his picture and all she said to me was "You can get a man here you didnt have to go look in America" I told her it wasnt like that and she said "Your still my daughter im gonna worry"

I have lived on my own for years and years have got a 14 year old yet still shes over protective. She did tell me she knew I wouldnt listen to her but I guess she wanted to say it anyway.

My sister when I told her asked if he was on Death Row she annoyed me. I could have explained it all to her but I couldnt be bothered.

I am ok no family to tell lol Mam past years ago now, brothers don't care. So i am good to go lol friends they can mind their own really. I am just waiting to see if i get a call tonight i hope so

I get that reaction a lot from people. As soon as I mention 'prison' and 'Texas' in the same sentence I hear 'On death row??' before I can finish what I'm saying.

That's usually the first thing people in the UK think of when they hear someone talking about prisoners in the US. It seems some of them even have a morbid fascination with death row.

Originally Posted by fee

My sister when I told her asked if he was on Death Row she annoyed me. I could have explained it all to her but I couldnt be bothered.