Thanks a lot guys! I read this thread and thought I would write a JPay last night after indulging in a "wee" bit too much. I read it this morning. I am horrified at what I wrote. LOL. I quickly sent another one only I think I made it worse! I promised him I would stay off JPay in the future if he agreed to ignore what I wrote. HAHA. Good thing it was short. I think I almost proposed!
Treat others as you would like to be treated
I call it: "gone Jpay crazy again." He laughs at me but the main concern is that I'm spending too much money on stamps. I'm like, what.... you mean a stamp wasn't worth it to write my latest epiphany?
I have been known to do it more than once a day but that's because my mind is like that... 2 hours later I think of what I REALLY wanted to say. Other days I don't at all or sometimes there's gaps of no Jpays a few days in a row. I am not an all around abuser but a random abuser.
Dog loves you.
Okay, I may have been rejected in the nicest possible way even though I haven't even told about my feelings, or I'm just reading too much between the lines. If there's someone who likes to analyse stuff like that and help me with this, please send me a private message I am serious, I need help
LOL and thanks.
I've really tried to kill these feelings and I guess I mostly have succeeded in this. But during lately it's been hard. I'm not looking for advice or anything cause there's nothing I could do. Other than to stop writing with my pp and I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna do that to him and I don't wanna loose him totally.
But damn, I feel like I miss him. Even though I've ever even met him. Even though I'm doing best I can, my heart is struggling against it, I have all these dreams about him and I wake up feeling so effing lonely.
Why this had to happen to me? On the other hand, I'm happy because of this cause I don't even remember when was the last time I had these kind of feelings. At least I know that I'm alive, even though it hurts.
Just crying little bit here and you guys are the only ones I can tell about this.
Even though I have great friends, studying/working is keeping me busy, I travel and do all these things, at the end of the day the thing that matters most are his letters. Or this is how I feel now. I get myself together again, I know, it just takes some time.
I think you're looking at it in the best way possible. Any time I meet anyone that I am really intense about that I know there is some impassable obstacle to I always think that it happened so I would remember what it was like to feel those feelings. And now you know what it should feel like...life's little refresher!
One of my penpals is extremely fantastic but not an option in life...and I really truly do think one of the reasons I met him was just to get a reminder in life that guy's with his personality and character do exist out there. A precursor to someone great in the free world.
Although sometimes I also feel like it's a mean trick