Originally Posted by kevinsprncss

It doesn't matter anymore... I've screwed up and it sucks but it's something I have to live with. It just seems like every day I find more and more reasons to stay in my bed and not come out anymore...

OR you could pick yourself up and learn from your mistakes and not repeat them again.

Originally Posted by ashy

OR you could pick yourself up and learn from your mistakes and not repeat them again.

True, but it's been said, My credibility is shot to hell, Most of you think that I just use K as a toy... So really? what's the point?

Originally Posted by kevinsprncss

True, but it's been said, My credibility is shot to hell, Most of you think that I just use K as a toy... So really? what's the point?

There are more people in the world than the people here on the forum and the main person to do this for is YOU not anyone here on the forum.

Originally Posted by ashy

There are more people in the world than the people here on the forum and the main person to do this for is YOU not anyone here on the forum.

You're right, Ash... It seems like I've been letting EVERYTHING bother me these days... worried sick, losing sleep...

Originally Posted by kevinsprncss

You're right, Ash... It seems like I've been letting EVERYTHING bother me these days... worried sick, losing sleep...

Perhaps you should make an appointment with your doctor to review your medication? I say that with the sincerest intentions. It isn't normal for you to feel that way and is a sign something is wrong.

Originally Posted by kevinsprncss

True, but it's been said, My credibility is shot to hell, Most of you think that I just use K as a toy... So really? what's the point?

Seriously, we don't matter. Your health matters. Mount is right, if how you are currently feeling is not normal, go and see your doctor about it.

Originally Posted by kevinsprncss

True, but it's been said, My credibility is shot to hell, Most of you think that I just use K as a toy... So really? what's the point?

Kevinsprincess, i have no intention of shooting you down in flames because i honestly feel your posts reflect some emotional issues that perhaps you are not equipped to, or do not know how to deal with in a healthy way. However, i cannot help myself from shaking my head at your seeming oblivion to the responses you are getting here. You do seem to be your own worst enemy and i am really starting to wonder what it is you are hoping to find on this forum. Is it support? Guidance? Advice? Affirmation that you are a good person? Understanding? Are your posts some kind of cry for help?

What the people on this forum think and the opinions on your credibility should be the least of your problems. I say to you again, you should consider seeking some type of professional counselling and start sorting your emotional issues out. A public forum is not the place to be doing this.

I have to talk to my case worker first, so I'll start there. All of it could be related to depression over being betrayed by someone I thought was a friend among other things...

Originally Posted by mountanddo

Perhaps you should make an appointment with your doctor to review your medication? I say that with the sincerest intentions. It isn't normal for you to feel that way and is a sign something is wrong.

Alternatively - well said Mount.

Originally Posted by fee

Iv been thinking about this and dont mean any disrespect at all but...dont you think maybe he knows your gonna cheat on him anyway so hes better thinking that he has allowed it for that sake or that he wanted to hear you say you would never do that to him because you love him too much?

He trusts you? ok im going out on a limb here and im gonna say there is no way he trusts you and you have already broken that trust by having relationships even getting married. Seriously you will never break his trust? you already have. I dont understand that part.

What if your in a loving relationship when he gets out and the guy is just gonna be dumped no questions asked because he is just a stop gap until your true love gets out? Really?

I speak to K about this and Iv told him if he ever said it was ok for me to go with another man until he got out then I would be pretty pissed off at him and would probably think he just didnt love me at all. You see where im from if you truely love someone the thought of being with another man wouldnt even enter your head not a chance.

So you dont think he sits in his cell thinking about this? he doesnt need details because he fills in the gaps himself. He will be sitting there sad,frustrated and all of that because he loves you. Simple as that.
Sorry just had to say this just to really get a better understanding but Nope I wont ever understand that.

I know I'm behind in this whole convo, but I felt the need to interject here. When I started correspondence with my fiance', I did not take the endeavor lightly. Initially, I had decided that I would be celibate because after years of being a failing marriage and breakup, I decided that focusing on me was a positive thing to do and then, I also decided I'd take this time to try and put myself in my PP's shoes as much as I could. Once we fell in love, that was all she wrote!! I couldn't imagine dating or being with anyone else. EVER!! To me, this is the same sort of situation that many of the military spouses have to deal with for long periods of time because many are deployed for years at a time. (Granted, many of them don't succeed in remaining true..........but also, I feel that now days most people don't take marriage and commitment seriously, so they justify being unfaithful.) To me, Love is Love and if it's true, one won't want to be with anyone else regardless of physical itches our body thrusts upon us because of our biological make up. It's all about love, commitment, honor, and self control. We, as humans are higher beings, and the ability to make choices in everything we do.

Granted, this is your relationship...... and if this is what you want to do, then that's your choice. However, I guarantee you, he's not as "OK" with you sleeping with others as you say. Either that, or you may want to reevaluate your relationship. Perhaps love is not what's on the table. Good luck to you regardless.