Yesterday I got in a huge fight with my exbf because he had found D's birtdaycard and um, well, D had written something 'explicit' (it was something about my body) on it so yeah, he also read that. I never asked D to write that, he just did and I had a good laugh when I read it. either way, it had my exbf infuriated, he yelled at me and told me I was crazy for doing this. he said that D was just playing me, that he didn't want anything else but get in my pants and 'do' me. he said 'he's a dude, what do you expect, if you go there, the only thing he wants is have sex with you, and he probably also constantly tells you how great and beautiful you are and all that ****?!' I got really mad because a) that's actually not true, his emails are just an update of his day, what he's been up to, what he thinks/feels/ate :P/wants to do etc etc, he rarely drools all over me! and when he does, it's just something like: 'aaaaw, you look so beautiful' not something like yeah I wanna do this and this to you, not at ALL! :@ and b) my ex basically was telling me that I am naive and c) he was butchering D without even knowing him and without knowing what our emails usually are about. I told him that D didn't even know what he was talking about in the sense that he doesn't even know what my body LOOKS like exactly because I've never sent him a picture that shows me like whole! and I also told him that our emails are just conversations, and not like an effin porn magazine or something like that?! so yeah, I was reallyreally mad.
BUT, even though he's my exbf and he even admitted that he just couldn't handle sexual stuff coming from other dudes like that, I had to think about what he said... I even cried because I was like 'what if he's right? how can I possibly know? I can't' and it suddenly made me feel sad because I reallyreally like D, like I said before, he's my little sunshine, but then BAM something like that just causes an earthquake or something like that and just cracks the trust, even though D doesn't give me a reason to distrust him, not at all. and sure I admit, our emails aren't always that.. innocent but I can honestly say that it's not about that all the time, the only thing that happens is that one of us sometimes 'drops' some kind of comment but that's all? we always talk about anything and everything and I always feel like he's honest with me because, well, he's super open about his brother, his friends, I mean, he told me to go to his facebook and look up his people, he has told me loads of stuff about them and they know who I am also, he told me where he lived, I even know the street he lived in etcetc. he always answers ALL of my questions, he never brushes anything off and besides this, when I don't feel so good, it's not like he's brushing it off either, it's always like: 'what's wrong! taaaaaaaalk to me!' so it's not like he's only interested in the 'good stuff' you know. ugh, I don't even know what my point is... I just don't wanna hear anything about D being unreliable or dishonest because I can't stand that thought. I mean, I know you can't know.. as in really know.. but idk, what my exbf said yesterday really hurt me because I really like D, and no, not in 'that' way but as in having him around, I mean, he really makes me smile
I think I just needed to get it off my chest, thanks for listening.