Originally Posted by wilma

Sorry to hear that Pip, but i think its not good to write a card every week, iff your sure that everything is oke with him, maybe he needs some space ore some time off, i know its hard but i think the best thing is to wait, maybe a card for his birthday is oke

I'm not gonna send him something every single week, I don't mean to be pushy. But I do think I have the right to know what is going on and if I just sit around and wait... no. Maybe he wants some space, that's totally fine, but I feel like he should tell me. And not like this, because (and I don't think he knows me well enough to know this about me) I won't stop writing until I hear something from him, because I can't get closure when it goes on like this. If it's true that he's done, well, I think he has manners enough to just write me a short letter to tell me. It only has to be ONE sentence if he wants.
Sure, I'm not an idiot, so I'll get the message when I keep on writing and after a year or something he still hasn't written anything back... but I would always be like: what happened? His or my fault?

Wel'll see.

Youre right, you have the right to know what happend, but what i mean is that he will tell you in his own time, maybe its got nothing to do with you and he needs time to tell you

Maybe you're right. I'll wait.

Pip, do you have the contact details of any of his family members? That way, you could call or write them and ask if they know if he is OK. My PP has told me that there is no reason that I should not hear from him for prolonged periods of time if nothing is wrong (like you said, the prison said no lockdown or anything) and if I still don't hear from him, I should contact his grandma and so on, he sent me a whole list of what I could do.
But Pip, remember how bad our postal service is - they lose letters every now and then. And I'm sure the US Post also loses letters every now and then. So a month does not have to be as bad as it may seem. Although I know very well how you must be feeling - two weeks without a letter and I'm beginning to worry. Keep your hopes up!

He has no family that I can rely on when it comes to that. He has 2 brothers and 2 sisters, who live nowhere and everywhere so to speak, a mom (I won't say too much about her, but let's say that she is not able to take care of her family) and his grandma, bus she doesn't live in her usual house anymore so I have no idea where she is. I looked everywhere on the internet to find (info on) his siblings, but there's nothing that can help me out.

I know a month isn't that long, but his last letter dates back from September 8 (so that's is basically muchmuch longer than one month). This time it took me a little bit more time than usual to write him back, so let's say he got my letter around September 23/24. I usually get a letter back from him after 2,5 weeks, so I should've gotten something back around the 10th of October, maybe a little bit later if he needed more time. Something's not right.

I agree with you that something is not right. You say his counsellor won't say anyting personal but can't you ask him if your PP is OK or maybe on sick ward, or being transferred to another prison? If he's in a federal prison, you can use the inmate locator with his number to find out if he's still there or has been transferred.
It sucks how so many prisoners have not family to rely on. Mine doesn't either.

i will disagree and say do you have the right to know maybe not in his mind if you have done everything you can then its time for some space he knows where you are if he wants you as harsh as that may sound

have you told him, that it´s ok when he wants to stop writing or needs some time, but that he please should just drop you a short line to let you know what´s going on? i personally would have send one more card after my last letter to tell him that and also that there will be no drama when he decides not to write anymore. that i just would be glad to be informed. for me everything more than that would be pushy......keep my fingers crossed for a good outcome....

Hi there Pip!
I am really sorry for the situation that you are facing. I know that waiting around feeling helpless and clueless just feels HORRIBLE.
I hope that you receive a letter in a few days and everything gets sorted out but, in the meantime, I would suggest you to write a VERY brief card telling him that you don't want to be pushy but that you are really worried and that you know (even if you don't) that he is not the kind of person that ends a friendship in such a rude way, you know because you trust him (even if you don't right now) so please, just send me an I'M OK card and I will stop writing.

I understand your concern and I wouldn't blame you if you became "pushy" because, after all, you DESERVE an explanation. If an inmate places an ad looking for friendship he has to be consequent with his actions afterwards.

I wish you all the luck of the world. Please keep us updated!

@english: no offence, but how can you know what he thinks or feels? You can't, no one can. I can only assume what he MIGHT think or feel and interpret the "signs" but that's not very reliable imo. I simply can't know anything for sure, until he tells me himself.

@Knicki: I told him that, yes so he knows I'm not mad or anything, and I have told him that I would appreciate it if he would tell me how he feels and all...

@LittleShoes: What you said, that's pretty much what I have told him in my last letter. And yeah, I do feel like I deserve an explanation. I just hope everything will be okay.