Hi everyone, I need your input, opinions and experience with pp living in a different state. What if the one lives thousands of miles away? And is serving a life sentence or on death row? If the pp is going to be released soon and is a long distance pp, do you trust this person to come visit/stay with you, especially if you're disabled? I know that time is involved but what are some other factors?

Hey there!

All of my pen pals are long distances, save one. I'm in MO and I have 2 pals in TX, one in SC, and one in KS. KS is still a 5 hour drive, but I don't consider that 'long' for this purpose.

I'm a little confused by what you're asking... If the inmate is on Death Row or is serving Life Without Parole (LWOP), they won't be getting released at all without a successful appeal. If they show up one day and ask to stay, you might think about calling the cops. LOL

If you're talking about an inmate with a lesser sentence or a life sentence with possible parole who is being released soon, then you need to judge the situation with that person as it arrives. I'm assuming that pen pal is the person you were thinking of writing in your first thread. If so, you need to just think about how well you know them, how much trust have you built up, How do they appear mentally by the way their letters are written, what they were incarcerated for, things like that. If you're thinking of offering to let someone stay that's one thing, but if someone 1,000 miles away is being released and is asking to visit or come stay with you immediately upon release, that would probably be a big red flag in my eyes. If you're concerned that your disability would make you an easier target for potential problems, then I'd pass on it entirely. It's your home and you should feel safe in it. It's also better to be safe than sorry.

Some of these stories turn out great, others don't. Just make sure that you err on the side of caution and think it out before you make a decision.

hey, im in the UK and my pp is in TX...that is an absolute headache in itself.
He is up for parole soon but dont know if he will get it....i dont think he would be able to come over here and moving over to America is NOT easy at all.

Iv read that when your pp is released thn he can forget about you but he means what he says when hes inside....i do assk myself is it all worth it?
its very emotionally draining and i think iv got myself into a situation where it just consumes my thoughts.

Id have concerns if they were a drug addict before going to prison.. Id want them to prove to me they really werent going back to that life style. before they came into my home and made me a sitting duck to be manipulated.

Originally Posted by joprdo

Hi everyone, I need your input, opinions and experience with pp living in a different state. What if the one lives thousands of miles away? And is serving a life sentence or on death row? If the pp is going to be released soon and is a long distance pp, do you trust this person to come visit/stay with you, especially if you're disabled? I know that time is involved but what are some other factors?

honestly, if you ask this question, you already know your own answer, not to be rough...just honest opinion which you have asked for, dont ever ignore what your gut feeling says.

Originally Posted by UKGAL

Id have concerns if they were a drug addict before going to prison.. Id want them to prove to me they really werent going back to that life style. before they came into my home and made me a sitting duck to be manipulated.

I'd personally be less concerned with helping out a former addict who got clean in the pen and stayed that way his/her whole sentence than to offer the same courtesy to someone who was put in for ID theft or burglary. I know a lot of people who are recovering addicts (drugs, alcohol, or both) who are decent people and stay away from the stuff now that they got clean. It's all about the individual person.

Originally Posted by Mirror Man

I'd personally be less concerned with helping out a former addict who got clean in the pen and stayed that way his/her whole sentence than to offer the same courtesy to someone who was put in for ID theft or burglary. I know a lot of people who are recovering addicts (drugs, alcohol, or both) who are decent people and stay away from the stuff now that they got clean. It's all about the individual person.

yep i agree 100% that many do stay clean but many dont. i think it was the "disability" that worried me most. ive seen many come home only to go back to the drugs. then you see the woman come back and tell their story, how they were treated and stuff some getting violent with them when they didnt hand over the money.. Ive also seen how they "addicts" work my bother is a heroin addict.
all the tears and bull use to work with me but not anymore. he has stolen from my mother she no longer has anything left to steel, he is now getting violent.. i worry for her safety.. he too has been clean many times.. I was worried about the OP safety more than anything really what ever disability they may have might stop them from being able to defend themselves. when you have a need for something it makes you not such a nice person..

Also from friends experiences i can say alot do NOT stay clean and others relapse more times than staying clean and a few do stay clean, its a tough game to be in if they are not clean, i could go into details but the main thing here is your safety. Oh and some of the ones that do stay clean stay away from their old life and access to their old town......again some even away will still get high.....its a really really tough road. My ex was in and out of prison (after i got out and ran)so was clean inside and got out yeears later to go back to his old s*&^....but i hope that for ur sake hes a goodun

Originally Posted by UKGAL

yep i agree 100% that many do stay clean but many dont. i think it was the "disability" that worried me most. ive seen many come home only to go back to the drugs. then you see the woman come back and tell their story, how they were treated and stuff some getting violent with them when they didnt hand over the money.. Ive also seen how they "addicts" work my bother is a heroin addict.
all the tears and bull use to work with me but not anymore. he has stolen from my mother she no longer has anything left to steel, he is now getting violent.. i worry for her safety.. he too has been clean many times.. I was worried about the OP safety more than anything really what ever disability they may have might stop them from being able to defend themselves. when you have a need for something it makes you not such a nice person..

I totally agree. That's why I said that it depends on the person. I didn't want to comment on the disability aspect only because the advice is the same whether you're disabled or not... If it doesn't seem right, don't do it.

GOTTA QUES. FOR U ITS MY PP DAT I ROTE N WEN I SAW HIS about me PROFILE IT SAID released date 04/2010 n latest 04/2017 wat dat means lol i dont get it he can b gettn out pretty soon or on 2017