Hey Ya'all. As some of you know I've been writing to this 1 pp now for almost 3 years. It'll be 3 years come May. Anyway, in the beginning, it was great. WSe wrote letters to each other all the time. Sometimes I'd have 3-4 letters to answer within the same week from him. We also sent cards to each other almost all the time back then too. But now, his letters are getting further and further apart. His last 2 letters were 5 months apart and the last time he sent me a card was for Christmas but no Valentine's Day card. We had even made plans for the future for when he got out too.

Anyway, last night, I was talking to a girlfriend on the phone. She and I met at the prison where her husband and my pp were in together before her husband got out 14 months ago. She and I were catching up with what was new with each other and our lives. She did come out and asked point blank about how my pp's doing. I told her he's doing fine with alot of tears in my voice and streaming down my face. I proceeded to tell her how he's practically stopped writing me, still calls me twice a week, asks me to send him some info from offline, has stopped thanking me for the info that he's asked for. She told me that when her husband was in the same prison my pp's in now, her husband always wrote her letters regardless of whether they just talked on the phone or ended a visit, sent her cards for no special reason at all,etc. She thinks that since my pp has stopped writing me like he used to, sending cards, etc., that he's only telling me things that he thinks I want to hear, is only taking advantage of me and doesn't really care any more.

Now, I know there's no 2 relationships alike. I can kinda see her viewpoint. Yet, a part of me says I need to sit down and write him a letter asking him about my concerns, asking him alot questions, to confront him about it and express how I feel before I completely cut all ties with him like my girlfriend wants me to. I don't want to make a haste decision when I am this upset and angry. What do ya'all think? Should I write a letter expressing these concerns to him? Or just cut all ties with him? Thanks for your imput, again

I'm new and only begun writing my pen pals, but it sounds like this person means a lot to you and I couldn't just stop writing without asking what is going on. I ALWAYS say what is on my mind. I've called my pp out when I think he's not being entirely straight with me. I'm the kind of person you will ALWAYS know where you stand with me - I can't help it.

I say write a letter expressing how you feel. If he can't take the time to adequately address it or he doesn't feel it's worth it, THEN you can write him out of your life, but I would do that much.

Just my two cents worth.

Hello

I personally think you should write and address your issues with him, he obviously means a lot to you. And if you just stop writing you may always wander about all the ifs, whats and maybes, so I would write and say how you feel. Then take it from there.

I wish you all the best and hope thing work out for you

Fairy x

hi tupplady i just would sens a letter and tell him about my concerns i'm only not sure he will tell truth because i got a bad feeling .
i can feel this is hurting you if he doesn't write back or doesn't explain things he isn't worth your friendship,just my thoughts.

good luck,hugs from whiterose.

This never happened to me yet but if I were you I would write him a letter and see what he has to say about it. He is the only person who knows why he does what he does so if I were you I wouldnt ask other people why he is doing it when they couldnt possibly know. Let him explain himself and then make your decision.


~Angela

READ! This happend to me my dear! My guy took months to reply. I even rang the prison at one point i was so concerned. Anyway, as it seems, he was being moved prisons and around this time when prisoners are moved things slow down.
Are you sure he's getting your letters? The prison around his time of moving didnt give him alot of my letters. Anyway now hes settled into his new place things are back on regular....Any chance this could be happening?
Also check policies havent changed on what you can send in a letter etc x

Hello Tupplady,

Write! Be brutally honest. Tell him about your feelings and that you would like to know what is going in his life, and his heart.
You have nothing to lose here, only to gain.....respect.

Good luck.

^^ i agree.

I'd just bite the bullet & ask him what's going on, and if everything's okay because he's seemed distant lately & you've not heard much from him.

Some people don't realise when they're slacking, and just need a good kick up the butt! Although if it comes back to you that he feels like you've ran your course maybe it's best to leave it there.

You're doing a nice thing for this guy, you're not obligated, & friendship shouldn't have to feel forced


xo

Do you send money? Pay for all the calls? Is what he asks you for off the net a lot? I am trying to root out if 1) it is a one-sided friendship now and 2) if you do enough for him to make it worth his while to tell you what you want to hear.

I have known people in very solid relationships that do not write anymore (honeymoon wore off) since they have calls. That might be all it is!

There are pals as well, that become depressed to where they dont want to do any thing, even write, for a while. This also could be going on with your pal.