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General Prison Talk Discuss Helpful advice needed please. in the Prison Related forums; I am new here but need something cleared up to put my mind at rest. I really want to write ...
  1. #1
    saint100 is offline Junior Member
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    Default Helpful advice needed please.

    I am new here but need something cleared up to put my mind at rest. I really want to write to a certain lady. She seems very intelligent and her general demenour is happy and just what I have been searching for in my vain attempts for a prisoner to write with.
    My problem is this: I live in the UK. So many of those behind bars wish for love, and I would be so far away and could never promise that to this lovely lady. Yet I still want to write with her. She wants friendship now, but what happens if she were to fall in love or I were to fall for her?

    It's a mighty dilemma as I wouldn't want to break a ladies heart.

    Suggestions? Advice? Many Thanks,

    Saint100

  2. #2
    pennylane's Avatar
    pennylane is offline Super Member
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    Default Re: Helpful advice needed please.

    I guess when she see your lives overseas, she will understand for sure you cant visit her every month. Or even every year. Some people behind bars, i think looking for love, but the most of them looking for friendship. And you can love friends also. Your letter will make her day!

    You cant say anything about the future, you dont know by know how the contact goes. And if, you both fall in love, everything is possible. But i think when you start writeing and building on a good friendship, that takes time. Dont look at the future now. For now i just would concentrate on my first letter, and tell a little about yourself. And then waiting for a response. Building on a friendship or relationship with someone behind bars isnt different then with someone in the free world. Both cost time till you trust eachother and know eachother. Wish you lots of happy writeing And welcome on WAP
    Beneath the make up & Behind the smile
    I'm just a girl who wishes for the world
    (Marilyn Monroe)

  3. #3
    asha Guest

    Default Re: Helpful advice needed please.

    If you like her, just go ahead and write. Take it slow and easy and see if you two hit it off. I dont think there is any real reason to project into the future so far before even sending a first letter.

    Its true that people can indeed develop very strong feelings for each other. Easy does it is key here and perhaps she is not looking for a boyfriend and just wants someone to talk with.

    My advice for what its worth as someone that has written an inmate over a spell of time in a plutonic friendship is you really cant say what is going to happen or where it will lead until you begin writing. So please dont decide not to write based solely on what the perceived limitations are of a pen pal relationship.

  4. #4
    peanut2's Avatar
    peanut2 is offline 10,000 Posts Super Member
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    Default Re: Helpful advice needed please.

    Kinda like putting the cart before the horse here,, though I do understand the concern,, since not even first letter, take it slow and not project to much into the future,, just enjoy ea day and letter as it comes,,
    Get yours at Webfetti.com



    A Government Big Enough To Give You All You Want. Is Strong Enough To Take Everything You Have..

    Thomas Jefferson.

  5. #5
    saint100 is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Helpful advice needed please.

    Thanks for all the advice. I realise that developing a friendship is the 1st and most important thing, but I certainly wasn't thinking too far ahead. I can hardly remember what I'm doing tomorrow sometimes....LOL

  6. #6
    asha Guest

    Default Re: Helpful advice needed please.

    Well I think all we meant (not trying to speak for others here of course) is that we dont want you NOT to write because of the distance or because you think that it will become frustrating if you cant visit or any of those kind of reasons. Its hard to predict how a pen pal relationship will go. I liken it to a stream and its gonna make its course one way or another but difficult to predict at times.

    I would think she will let you know right away if she is looking for something you are incapable of like visits etc...in which case you can move on but at least know you tried.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Helpful advice needed please.

    That is all we meant,,, but,, enjoy writing and Welcome
    Get yours at Webfetti.com



    A Government Big Enough To Give You All You Want. Is Strong Enough To Take Everything You Have..

    Thomas Jefferson.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Helpful advice needed please.

    Go for it..write that letter,,,dont think about tomorrow ..or what might be...just live for today...
    I started writing to a guy as a friend...and after the first year or so it developed into something so beautiful..words cant even describe it....
    I did not plan for this..as I was going through a divorce at the time and the last thing I wanted was a man!..But when love comes along..real true love there is nothing you can do about it.
    Who knows which way the wind will blow?.......
    All I can say is go with your gut feeling..if it feels right then go for it.....if you have any doubt in your mind..then dont!
    I am from the UK also....thousands of miles from my man...but nothing stands in the way of true love.....
    Good Luck......and if you are ever travelling to California...let me know..I go over twice a year..maybe we could hook up!
    Have a great day

    ONE LIFE.....LIVE IT
    MAZZY X

  9. #9
    ambrose is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Helpful advice needed please.

    Also, on WAP ads there is a question on whether they would like to write to overseas inmates, which they usually answer Yes or No. Some may say No because of financial reasons (cost of postage) or they want someone closer to them. I would encourage you to write those that answer Yes, if you are interested in doing so!

  10. #10
    Galen is offline Member
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    Default Re: Helpful advice needed please.

    As has been said already I, of all the people, will say it in the shortest possible method that I can think of without even digressing.

    Write.
    Just because your opinion is different from my own doesn't mean that mine is right.

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