I feel like that one neighbor we all have. The one that only comes around when they need something. This may be nothing to worry about, I just don't know what to do. I got a letter from my pal today and she asked if I'd be her valentine. I don't exactly have women beating my door down so I hate to say no. If I say yes, she may get the wrong idea. If I say no, she may get the wrong idea. She's such a sweetheart, I don't want to hurt her feelings. I also don't want her to someday think I was stringing her along. I just don't want a girlfriend or anything close to one right now or her to think that I might. And I don't want her to think it has anything to do with her personally. I just don't want the headaches. Maybe she's just being nice and I shouldn't flatter myself, I don't know. Is there a way I can approach this without her thinking it's got anything to do with her as a person?

i wouldn't worry too much about it...i think a lot of people say "will you be my valentine" lightly---she's probably not expecting a big commitment to come from that ...sounds like she's just flirting

Well, I can understand your problem. If she wrote it in a letter, then maybe it does have some deeper meaning to it. Testing the waters?

If I were you I wouldn't mention the valentine thing in your response. Just write her a letter, saying how much you appreciate her friendship. That you've often noticed how (in relationships) people come and go, that old lovers eventually fade away, but that a true friend will be your friend forever. And that you are glad to have her in your life as a true friend, and that you want her to stick around as long as possible.

Well, something like that (it's early in the morning, so my brains are hardly awake), but I hope you understand what I'm saying. Friends are forever, lovers are just for as long as you're in a relationship?

I couldn't have put it better myself zosja....
TC
Carol
X

yes, it is also my idea. (Zosja, your brain is workign perfectly in the morning! :-) )

Karin-Belgium

Hi pj, long time no see. :-)

I have to wonder what she meant by "Be My Valentine", also.
Are you telling us everything? Have your letters gotten romantic?
If she were writing to me, I would think that she just wanted me to be a special friend. And, it sounds like you may already be that special friend. I would say "go with it" and respond by saying that you would like her to be your Valentine, also. Every lady likes to think that she is special to someone, and for a prisoner, I would think that the feeling of being special, for someone, is magnified many times over. Can't you let her enjoy that feeling? :-)

pj... i will not add any more advice but wanted to say i like your quote in your profile.(smiles)

Hi PJ,

I guess you want to be cautious on the subject of Valentines and only you know how your letters are to each other i.e friendly, intimate etc. But I would say that when I have been on my own on Valentines day, I have always cheekily asked a good friend to be my Valentine. It was just about getting a card and flowers etc on Valentines day when the whole world around me seemed to be!