How to Write the First Letter to a Pen Pal

1. Be friendly and polite.

2. Keep your tone upbeat.

3. Share information about yourself that you think others will find interesting.

4. Tell the person who you are and what you are about.

5. Include information about your age, education and career.

6. Mention your favorite hobbies, pets, children or anything else that might unearth a shared interest with in your new friend.

7. Avoid talking about controversial topics.

8. Take care not to overwhelm the reader with too much information. Revealing a little bit at a time will pique the reader's interest.

9. Ask questions of the other person so he or she can respond.

10. Let your personality show by your choice of words and the descriptions you use.

11. Do include a recent photograph of yourself; it's nice for your penpal to have a picture of you in their mind when they write to you.

NOTES

a. Remember not to share too much too soon. Wait until someone knows you before you air your family problems and secrets.
b. Use careful judgment when deciding how much information to share with a stranger. Always be cautious when it comes to revealing personal information.

Making the Letter Interesting

1. Do a bit of prep work, as you would for any piece of art.

2. Gather preceding correspondence with your pen pal, photos or news stories, bits of poetry, recipes, sketches, even scraps of material or pressed flowers - whatever would be of interest.

3. Decide on your materials. Will your letter be on traditional stationery, or will you use graph paper, sketchbook paper, musical scoring or a card of some sort?

4. Consider telling the news in an interesting manner, such as in a poem or song.

5. Keep the journalism rules in mind for a straight read: who, what, where, when and why.

6. Keep your recipient in mind. If he's a fashion-oriented person, describe what Aunt Jewel wore to the Bar Mitzvah, or the feel of the cashmere sweater you just bought. If she's a musician, describe the sidewalk aria you heard.

7. Include pictures, if you have them. Each is worth a thousand words - even if it's a bit fuzzy.

8. Remember that what elevates a good letter to greatness is often analysis of the facts. For example, "His face told me so much more than his words. I felt he was being sincere for only the second time in our lives."

9. Reference a past letter if you're answering questions or continuing a saga. "Yes, as a matter of fact I did go to medical school as a result of your advice."

10. Always date a letter, and note the time and weather if the recipient is in another climate, time zone or country. They might keep it forever.

NOTES

a. Make certain to number pages for clarity. Use the computer/typewriter or ink for ease of legibility, and don't write on both sides of a thin piece of note paper.

b. A handwritten letter is a wonderful, personal touch - if your handwriting is legible.

c. Form letters are cold and impersonal, especially computer-oriented ones.

d. Not just how they are, but what they're doing, how their life is - friends, family, pets, work, school. Asking questions makes it easier for them to write back, too, and hopefully they'll follow suit!

e. Before you start get a piece of scrap paper and make a list of everything that you have been up to so that you don't run out of ideas and bore your reader to death!

f. Make it a work of art. Think about creative ways for them to open the letter (ribbon binding?), draw a picture (they'll love it no matter what), make up your own Mad-Libs. Make it as fun and creative as possible using unusual items.

g. Collect odd pieces of paper that you find. Writing on the back of a nice textured paper or a receipt from a foreign country or an amusing advertisement may add a personal touch.

h. When you're describing an event, use the active voice and use quotation marks in speech. Also, put humor into the incidents you describe.

Practice Proper Pen Pal Etiquette

1. Begin each message with a pleasant greeting.

2. Respond first to the news and information that your pen pal shared in his or her last message.

3. Follow this with your own news briefing.

4. Share information about the things that are going on in your life at the moment.

5. Keep your tone upbeat.

6. Try to keep your letter short enough that it can be read in one sitting.

7. Realize that over time, you and your pen pal may agree to write longer letters as you become more comfortable.

8. Pace the revelation of personal information. Remember that telling too much about your life too soon could scare away a new friend.

9. Avoid controversial topics - at least in the beginning of your relationship.

10. Understand that written letters are usually a bit more formal.

11. Be yourself in your correspondence. Remember you don't need to impress anyone.

12. End each letter with a note with encouragement for your pen pal to reply. ("I look forward to hearing from you soon" or something similar would be appropriate.)

13. Though it may sound basic, be honest. If you lie about yourself and start corresponding with someone who was attracted to your false profile, would you be able to enjoy pen-palling in a different persona than your true one for many years? What if they know the truth? Be honest about yourself from the beginning, if you want true friendship.

14. Never force your pen pal to write you back. Specifically, do not say something like "Be sure to write to me as soon as possible." "I will be really sad if you don't reply me". The more you force your pen pal to write you back, the more relactant they will be to do so; no one likes to hear from someone who gives them some obligation, especially if it's from someone they didn't know before! Your pen pal will write you back if you write an attractive mail, even if you don't tell them to do so.

15. Use neutral words for closing, such as "Yours", "Your new friend". People often do not write such words at the end of the e-mails, but for letters, you do write those words by convention. The words described above are quite neutral and are not overly formal or informal. The use of "Love" for your first letter is questionable, especially if it is between different sex and/or the culture of your pen pal's country is not open to such an affectionate word.

16. Set limits. Make it clear to your pen pal what your limits are, preferably from your first or second letter. A friendship will be easier to build up if it's clear from day one what you can expect from each other.

NOTES

a. If you write a letter by hand, make an effort to keep your writing legible.

b. Use dark ink that is easy to read. Try to avoid using a light pencil.

c. Respond as promptly as you can to your pen pal's messages.

What a very good post Rasberry And welcome to WAP!!!

NOW you tell me. :-)
Thank you, Raspberrygal, for the very good tips. Welcome to WAP, and I hope that you join us with you opinions and hopefully some good experiences with a PP. If no PP, yet, jump in anyway. Everyone is welcome.