I am married. I have a four year old and a child due in 6 weeks. I have had a friend who is in her 50s for oh about 11 years now. She had offered to watch my 4 year old when he was born while my husband and Iworked she watched her grandchildren and a few other kids at this time. I totally trusted her and was thrilled with the idea. I know her children and husband and really like them all. we have eaten dinner together have hung out had girl partys yada yada yada we were friends. anyway I was looking at my states sex offender registry and was so surprised and upset by the fact that her husband was charged with levicious acts with a child in 91. I feel so betrayed by this woman! I was going to have my child in her house (thank god my mother quit her job) I feel really betrayed because I really thought we were friends how could she know her husband was charged with this crime and still watch other pples kids? Please talk me through this im really mad! I was also wondering if there was a web site I could go to to find out details on his case. what is levisious acts (im assuming sex with children) Sorry about spelling and lack of puctuation. neither is my srong point.

A lascivious act is one that is sexual in nature. As far as your situation, I would suggest that you find someone else to watch your children. Recidivism is very high in pedophiles, so it's probably not a good idea to risk it. From my experience with working with that population, most try to justify their actions, even after they have been released from prison. I can definitely understand why you would be upset, having not been given this information when she offered to watch your children.

hoosier, thanks for the reply! I never had her watch my kids she just offered, I am upset because I dont think a woman she be watching children if her husband is basically a pervert. This man is a minister. He has grandchildren. It just makes me ill.

gilly yes you must always put your children first of course BUT at risk of causing a few ripples I will tell you the following story. I knew a man from Ohio who went to prison for 2 counts of rape of a girl under 12 years of age BUT there was NO VICTIM. He was charged when some photos were found at his home (he was a photographer by trade)
When it reached court and a victim had to be found they accused him of raping his daughter who didn't live with him and he hardly saw. Doctors proved she was still a virgin and no rape had taken place - the girl herself said her father had NEVER touched her and she begged for them not to lock him up BUT he had a trial by judge NOT by jury and the sentence was upheld, this man died 13 years later still in prison and still proclaiming his innocence.
Had he been released he would have been branded a sex offender even though he WAS innocent. Now I'm not saying thats the case with the man your talking about I'm just showing you that sometimes things aren't always as they appear. Plus the fact that his wife could very well be as deeply hurt by it all as you are, all she CAN do is try to rebuild their life in some way. But mud sticks and that kind of mud can never be washed off. No offence was meant by me telling you this story I was just talking and pointing out that miscarriages of justice DO happen more often than they should. Stay safe (hug)

Mystic, you have caused no ripples with me.this is the kind of feedback that I wanted.My question is did you know the man who was convicted personally or did he just tell you this story? was this just a photo of a girl nude or was it a photo of this man you know having sex with a minor? I honestly do not know if I can ever speak to this friend of mine again. She knows how I feel about pple on the register, I informed her just this summer that someone on the offender list lived across the street from her and she seemed just as offened as I did.I just feel she lied. Thanks for the response I appreciate it.should I post his offender pic ?maybe his step children do not even know and their children are at risk?????

I just wondered whether this woman knew about her husband being charged with the sex offense. I just cannot imagine that she could have kids around knowing that her husband had done such things to kids in the past. Maybe she didn't know about it.

Will

Thats what I was thinking too. Perhaps she honestly doesn't know about this part of his past. I don't don't think many people would search the sexual offender list when they meet some one to make sure that they aren't on it. Then again maybe she does know and honestly believes that he is cured or falsly accused. Remember love can do strange stuff to you.

Either way I wouldn't trust leaving your child there. Even though there is always the small chance that he was falsely accuesed its not worth the risk.

Goodluck with the birth. Aren't babies just wonderful. My little girl is nearly 6 months now but it feels like just yesterday when I was in the hospital having her.

Hi all,
Personally I feel that whether he had done the crime or been wrongly accused, they should not have been looking after peoples kids. If they man had been wrongly accused, theres no way he would have wanted children in his house, for fear of the same senareo happening all over again. Dont you think?
My husband is a minister, and my father, and at no time whatsoever will they be left alone with someones children (through their own choice) because people do make false allegations if they see the opportunity. Its a shame it has to be this way. If this man is innocent he would keep away from these kids. I think its far more likely that he likes having them around. Are they still looking after people kids? If so, do you think they police should be told? I know here in the UK if you want to childmind someone elses children, the police have to run a check on the childminder, her husband, and any other people who will be in close regular contact. Theres no way theyd agree to the childminding if somone was on the offenders list.

gilly
Yes I did know the man and am still in touch with odd members of his family. As a writer I looked into his case very closely and wanted to work a documentary around it BUT because of the content the producers felt it might stop women from reporting rapes if it became too widely known that miscarriages of justice do happen. The photos were taken because he was a reporter and covered a lot of the nude pageants that went on and did many covers for naturists
Magazines so he had a lot of pictures of nude people in his dark room. None of them showed anyone having sex but in the pictures that got him sent to prison a man was cuddling a young girl who was sat on his lap, the photo was blurred but they said it was this man and the girl was his daughter! Maybe your ‘friend’ doesn’t actually know about her husband I know it’s a little hard to believe if he’s on the register but again maybe if she does know she KNOWS the full facts of the case and they may not be what has been publicly stated. So many ifs and buts which you have to work through, in this day and age people are so quick to jump onto the negative and fail to give any consideration to the positive – your angry at what you think your friend has done which is telling you lies about her husband BUT I think you need to know ALL the facts before you openly condemn her as well. As for posting his offender picture – why do you want to get involved – your children are safe and if it was me I would leave it at that and not get involved in anything that might court future trouble.

first can i say, thank god you found out in time. even if this man has served his sentence and knows of his wrong doing, temptation is always there. it is bad that your friend did not tell you this, infact, if it was me, i think i would have it out with her and find out the exact reason why she kept quiet. as for finding out further information about the case, whatever state you live in, if you have his full name and date of birth, i would think if you log onto the correctional services website in your state, you should be able to find out more about the case, otherwise i would think that you could find out thru your police stations. but i would guess it would depend on where he was arrested and convicted of the crime. i really hope that you can find out further information and that you can let other ppl know what he has been convicted of. but as i said, after 11 years of friendship, i would seriously find out why your friend didnt tell you and wanted to look after your children.