I'm wondering a little bit about this. I have been in love maybe 2 times in my life. I don't know why really but I read a study that says that love is chemistry; pheromones or smell. I gotta admit that smell is very important to me and an overall charisma too (which can't be seen in pictures I would think). If those two things would have been missing in those 2 love affairs I had a few years back, I wouldn't have been in love with them. Does this make any sense? Is it really possible to fall in love with someone you haven't met (and smelled)? Yes, of course that's platonic love... but that's not enough in the long run I suppose? And maybe, just maybe when you meet them, the chemistry isn't there and it's a false alarm after all?
Or maybe I'm the only person on the planet who is this shallow... I mean thinking that smell is so important (hehe).
Rox

I agree that falling in love before meeting someone is way out there for me too, but I've noticed that some of the prisoner's letters do have a smell. One guy I write in Kentucky is a heavy smoker and his letters stink of tabacco. I have another in NC whose lestters smell like soap - I wonder if he stores his writing material with his bathing supplies? Another smells like "Obsession" for men after shave. I imagine he writes me after he cleans up. Those perfumes have a way of getting on anything you touch....

I don't know if I could say that for myself. I have a penpal that I have very much fell for before meeting him. I have met him. I new it then nothing had changed. I have never felt so good about something. I truly beleive everyone has a different way of feeling and one thing may be good for me and not others. That is what makes this world so wonderful in ways. There are so many different feelings and ways to love someone. God Bless You all!

I don't believe that you can truly love someone before you meet them. I wrote to one guy for over 3 years. We wrote each other daily. I loved the person this man protrayed himself to be thru his letters....but after he got out and I did meet him...he was NOT the person he was in his letters. Not even a little bit like this man.
To me....(now these are only my feelings)...these guys are locked up. Away from females...they only have contact with those that write to them, visit them etc. They are lonely and letters make their time go faster. But....once they are released they can have their pick of anyone they desire (so to speak) and they don't have that extra time to sit and write letters (most would be out working) I think that love takes time. You have to know someone..truly know someone before you can really say "I love this person". You may like what they say and how they express theirselves...but you only know this person by what they tell you. I have many penpals that I write to.....ALL of them have told me they loved me, wanted to be with me when they got out etc. ALL OF THEM. What would make me so loveable that they all can say this? It's nothing to do with me...it's where they are and them being lonely. True..maybe some of them care more or whatever...but I really don't believe one of them truly loves me like they say they do. To me it's just not possible. Sheri

Here goes my 2 cents. Before I begin, please understand that I am not judging those that say they love someone or fell in love with someone through letters. I do want to say, that regardless that if it happens or not, when these guys, gals write, you will see who they actually are. You will see the most sensitive side of them. The compassion, caring person they ARE. How ever, with out meeting that person, you are also not seeing the prison mentally that has settled in.

I think it's possible to fall in love through letters. I just do NOT think it's possible to know that love is on sure-footing until you actually spend time with them in the flesh, interact, etc. I recall when the internet first started I would go into chatrooms a lot (lordy that was ages ago! lol) Anyway, I met this guy in a chatroom and we started emailing back and forth and I really fell for him in a big way. Or THOUGHT I had. The first time we met, although he did SOMEWHAT resemble the photos of himself he'd shown me, we were just missing...something. That inexplicable chemistry that you can't force yourself to feel, it just IS. So, I learned long ago that emails and letters (much the same thing) cannot replace real-time interaction. It can be a starting point, and a good one at that, but until you are together in the flesh you just never really know.

It was the same with me Novel. I met someone in a chatroom (was an irc addict then lol). I was VERY interested in him to say the least. Then I met him and couldn't stand the smell of him and stopped being interested in an instant.
But the person he portrayed of himself in the chatrooms and on the phone were exactly the way he was so he wasn't pretending to be something he wasn't.
Smell/chemistry/pheromones... for me this is just as important as the personality factor
Rox

I am totally in love with Danny and I fell in love with him before meeting him. Through letters. At first I thought I was crazy. Or maybe not thinking straight. I am not one to fall in love with anyone, honestly. I have only been in love once before. Truly in love that is. We also talk alot on the phone. I have numerous pictures of him and I know 100% I am in love with him. We are getting married this year sometime. Yes at the prison he still has years to go. But the time I do get with him is better than not feeling this strong of love! Why settle for less? Anyhow I just wanted to share this because I never thought is was possible either! And with my guy, he has a hard time expressing his feelings while talking to me. He is getting better, but when he writes, he can express them even better. I love him more than anyone I have ever loved before, and my daughter is crazy about him.
Michelle

I agree with what has been said here. Before ever meeting my love in the flesh I didn't think that it was possible to fall in love this way. I knew that I loved him with all my heart. After meeting him it just made more sense. The feelings that we had were founded, like the foundation on a house. :P

I know that things will change when he gets out. And I am looking forward to spending time with him when he does.

Oh and about his smell? His letters smell like he just took a shower, kinda a soap smell or maybe a lil cologne. He didn't know this until I told him. But when we met he smelled lke cologne and he looked so beautiful!?!