I would like to hear some stories about pen-pals you have had in the past, but you or the pen-pal stopped writing. Why?....

bigdog - This is a great topic for discussion. I haven't just stopped writing to anyone, but I have ended the penpal relationship on 2 occasions through a final letter of explanation.

One ended because it was obvious that he just wasn't "into" writing. He lacked enthusiasm and wouldn't answer questions or even ask me any. So, I wrote back, in a long letter, why I thought that having a penpal relationship was a good thing for him, in the long run. But if he just wasn't into it, then I would understand if he never wrote back. He never wrote back.

The other one I ended after the first reply letter from him because he clearly was only looking for a "sponsor". I wrote back that I was willing to offer some assistance to those with whom I had established some sort of friendship. But that I reserve my limited resources for friends and family, not strangers begging online. Never heard back from him either.

But I'm very happy with the penpals that I do have. It just takes some time and work to get to know one another and to weed out those who are not really interested in being penpals.

I had a "pause" with one for a little over a month. He umm... "violated" one of my "rules" (Be truthful with me, do not give my address out, and do not ask for money) and I told him that he needed to think things over and figure out if he REALLY wanted to dump the year long penpalship we had going on over this. He took over a month to reply, but when he did, he made it clear it wouldn't happen again. (And if it does, he knows he's off my writing list.)

My penpal relationship with Jim ended because he is a white supremacist and doesn't take kindly to "mutts" (racially mixed people) writing to him. Since I'm racially mixed, that threw me out of the running to be his friend...but honestly, even if I wasn't mixed, I wouldn't really want to write to a guy like that.

One of my penpals only wanted money. His entire letter would be about how he wanted a TV, but he couldn't get anyone to send him the money. I never even knew the guy's age! LOL I told him I wasn't going to send the money. He didn't write back.

My penpal Henry was a real humdinger. All he ever wrote about was how much he loved me (we only had been writing for two weeks when he dropped the L bomb for the first time!) and how God had showed him that I was his future wife. When I told him that I was just interested in friendship, nothing more, and in fact I liked someone else, he stopped writing to me. About a month later, I received about 40 letters, all from different inmates, at the same institution! He had either sold or given my name, nickname, vital stats (age, state, education, job, etc), and address to these inmates. I was really ticked off about that one, and almost quit writing to new penfriends because of that one!

One of my penfriends, after writing for over a year, said he couldn't write anymore because his fiancee was jealous about our friendship. That was hard, because I really liked this guy as a friend, but I respected his wishes and haven't written back to him. Sad though...someone that jealous wouldn't be too nice to be around for a long period of time, IMHO.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, there was a really devout Muslim who started writing to me and got ticked off when I wouldn't convert to his religion. I told him that I was a Christian, he knew that when we first started writing, but I told him that I would NEVER force my religion down someone's throat. He felt the need to try and force his down mine. Every letter was littered with "Allah akbar" (Allah is great), how Muhammad is the last and greatest prophet, how the Koran is Allah's word, how I must convert, etc, etc. Finally, I told him that enough was enough. I was a Christian, and he either respected that or he didn't, but whatever he chose, I was going to keep my faith in Christ. He wrote me a huge letter about how Christians are deceived and evil and all this stuff. I threw the letter away and didn't write again.

My very first pen-pal stopped writing to me because I chided him gently about how I disliked how referred to his ex-wife and the mother of his children in a derogatory way. He had referred to her a wildebeest and a fat lazy slob, etc. As a mother and an ex myself, I was appalled by that characterization of a desperately unhappy woman. My ex may be a despicable human being, but to resort to such petty name calling was offensive to me and I let him know. He went off on me in a couple of letters which I didn't respond to because then it's just turns into a pissing match. So, that was that. Another pen-pal tapered off and then stopped altogether, never did find out why.

Wow dawna... I'm sorry you've had..."bad luck" like that.

dawna - remind me to check your list first before I add any new penpals! You have had some rotten luck but it speaks well of you that you have not let it deter you from continuing a search for some meaningful penpals.

By the way, I have a buddhist-evangelist penpal working on me to convert. He isn't as strident as your muslim penpal, but he is unrelenting in that sweet, subtle buddhist way. It's not going to work, but I put up with it because in many other ways he is a great penpal and a friend.

I believe that every religion thinks that they are the "ONLY WAY". These men are probably trying to convert you to save your soul. I understand.... These posts are great, because I'm thinking about a "Dear John" letter myself. Thanks, and keep them coming....

Oh, but I have some really GREAT penpals too! I just mentioned the rotten ones...hehe. For every bad experience, I've had hundreds of good ones thanks to my pals.

I have had a couple end over money. Or should I say, a lack of money being sent. I have a talent for picking the ones looking for money.