Thanks Skye!! I might investigate that!!

But just so you all know, he actually has broken a law, and I am in the process of reporting it... He actually sent me two letters today and has included goose feathers... thats a HUGE no no in Australia!! We have VERY strict quaratine laws here! (You aren't even allowed to send cardboard that has been in contact with food or animals!), so this is a start for me at least....!! I'll let you all know how we go with the results of it.

And I'll let you know how I go with investigating the money thing that Skye suggested.

THANKS AGAIN to everyone who has taken the time to respond to this post and try and help me to resolve this issue, its muchly appriciated!

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chicksta xo

Is this about getting back at him or moving on? It seems like it is about revenge more than it is about just letting him know you are busted, and then moving on in life.

If you report the money issue, if he has solicited funds, and you report him for sending a goose feather, which is something he would not know is illegal to send (since he more than likely does not have a list of commodities that can and can not be sent to australia )(commodities vary by country by the way) this would all boil down to him having a case of harassment against you.

Reporting the 'feathers' would be a waste of time. He would win any case against him because A) he had no idea they could not be sent and B) customs should have caught it.

I can understand the feeling of betrayal and hurt and even anger, if he did in-fact play you and another woman. However, it would be best to merely end the correspondence, and not accept any letter from him, than it would to move forward and try to punish him for crimes of the heart. They can backfire, I have seen it done before.

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Skye

I have put alot of thought into this matter already, if it is 'revengue' I want or not. And there is a part of me that wants that - its only natuaral after you've been made a fool of!

But that isn't the point of why i'm doing this. I DON'T want anyone else to be made to feel the way that I have with him, it is cruel, it is unfair, it is morally wrong, and it isn't nessary.

I am aware that he won't get fined or anything because it is highly likely he has no idea that he cant send me things like feathers - but ignorance is no excuse, and he should still be warned that this is illegal. I have reported that issue mostly for the fact that I don't want to see anything illegal brought into my home country that could risk its beauty - and thats why the strict laws are in place!....

I'm sorry if what I have been saying has offended you in anyway.

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chicksta xo

I am not offended. I am just pointing out the flip side to this.

I have seen these situations occur time and time again. I know that constantly reporting things on the inmate, will put up a huge red flag, and at the end of the day the DOC's responsibility is to ensure the inmates are safe.

They do not take things at face value and they do investigate. My concern for you is that the more you want to stop him, the more you will come across as harassing him, and then the tables are turned.

A simple letter or phone call to the wardens office would suffice.

If you are concerned about things being sent to your home, simply block correspondence from him.

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[quote=chicksta;907695]


But that isn't the point of why i'm doing this. I DON'T want anyone else to be made to feel the way that I have with him, it is cruel, it is unfair, it is morally wrong, and it isn't nessary.


Chicksta, your comment, I dont want anyone else to be made to "feel" the way that I have with him. If it was actual fraud, I could understand that statement,

It is all about feelings in the end, and you are groping at anything you can to get revenge. Nothing illegal only feelings".

Do what you feel is morally right I guess? I am sorry you are hurt so bad, I really am.

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What I'm seeing here is a case of wanting to take revenge. While we all want to get our "pound of flesh", it is sometimes best to cut ties and move on. Quite often, we tend to expend much more energy and resources on "getting even" than it is ultimately worth.

My advise would be to let it go. You can't change a person for who they are, no matter what you do, sometimes. And, you can't save the world from those who choose to manipulate others.

Lesson learned. Step more carefully in the future.

The only reason I suggest reporting a prisoner if they have done something wrong is , one show that yes we can do something inside they often have an attitude that there is nothing we can do in the freewrold those in side need to know they cannot get away with running game on a PP as easily any more . Two it will get this person mail much more closely checked all it takes is one legit complaint you do not have to make any more than that and they will investigate. We should not tolerate it because it really does hurt those who are sincere and want a friend prison can be very lonely and there really is no one to trust at all. having a free world friend who they can trust more might make a difference in a few lives .

Skye is right in TDCJ it is a major case and they do face disciplinary action.In some cases free world charges if they are warranted .
You can go to far and harass the offender that is not good either I have seen both sides of this more than once .

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If the storm doesn't kill me
the government will

REM

ASE, I agree with you in one respect, but on the other hand, I was once an Investigator inside a prison facility; the one to whom such claims would be sent. Knowing only what has been shared here, had this situation come to my attention, I would have deemed it to be no less than unrequited love.

Asking a penpal for moderate amounts of money for legitimate purposes is not, in and of itself, a criminal act, nor is it necessarily a violation of facility regulations. Everything has to be taken in the correct context, and what we all know is what we are being told by only ONE party to the events.

Remember that there are three sides to every story - your side, my side, and the truth.

Well obviously I have started quite a contrivercial subject here.....

I can understand what everyone is telling me, and I have admitted myself more than once - he hasn't done anything illegal, just morally VERY wrong and cruel.

As I stated before, I'm not looking for revenge, even though I'm sure thats how it sounds. My concern, as I keep saying, is for the other young girls that he tries to do this too. Especially lonely women with confidence issues like myself - everyone likes to hear nice things about them, and it can be quite easy to fall for it, just as I did. But when it starts to go further than that, and he is asking for things like money and he is doing the same thing to many other women trying to get money, then it isn't morally 'fair' on peoples emotions.

The way I look at this - if I'm not strong enough to stand up to him, and fight for our 'moral' rights, then who is? Most people are too embaressed) and don't feel like they want to fight back - they want to ignore it until it goes away. This is not the first time that I've been 'played' by men and I know that it happens ALOT - so is that a reason that we should just 'ignore' it and hope that the next woman in his life has more sense? I think thats mean, I hate the way this world is becoming so selfish and only wants to look after themselves and its always "the next persons problem" - I don't want this to be the next persons problem. If we did that with everything, then there would be ALOT of nasty people in this world, and the more we all have this attitude, the more nasty people there aer left - and I'm sick of being surrounded on this planet by eveyone who thinks the world 'owes' them something and thinks that other peoples feelings just dont' matter.

Maybe I'm still wrong, maybe you will all continue to post telling me how wrong I am and how stupid I am for wanting to stand up for the future women in his life and tell me that I'm the selfish one wanting to get my own back. But I know from the bottom of my heart, that I want was best for everyone here. I wouldn't have started writing to prisoners to start with if I didn't!

As it turns out, I have contacted the Australian Government about the feathers and they've asked I turn them in to be destroyed, and asked that I ask this person to not send this type of thing again because they won't do it unless its a repeat offender - which is fair enough.
I have also contacted the DOC - and NOT because of what he has done to me, but because of what he 'may' do too himself - he is very suicidial and needs help. They have told me that he will be more closely monitored again for this, and I do feel better about that. Now that I know he is being watched again, and they are trying to help him, maybe he will get better and stop trying to get whatever he can from the rest of the world he thinks has wronged him so much. Hopefully they will explain to him how his actions are more often than not the result of all these 'bad' things in his life - he is in jail for insurance fault, which were his actions... He has choosen to 'cheat' women and has now been told how we feel, again, it was his choice to do this to us. I'm a big believer in karma, and I will NOT sit by and watch someone purposely hurt others or themselves. Imagine that you were the next girl that he talks too? That the next person you decide to write too, is the man I am talking about? how would YOU feel if this happened to you? Wouldn't you have wanted someone like me who has already been through it to try and stop it, not just 'walk away' and pretend it never happened?

I'm sorry if what I've said now further offends people, thats not my intention. I just think my purpose behind this has been taken the wrong way, and hopefully this will explain it - if not, well then so be it.

Thanks again for everyone who has taken the time to reply to this thread, or even take the time to read it. The way I look at it, even if more people read this and understand the risks and how 'easily' it can happen, maybe I will have helped someone - and that is all I ask.

Thanks

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chicksta xo

Chicksta, I've found your blog and experiences very valuable and intelligently written.
You're obviously a smart woman and have dealt with this in, what I think, is a very natural way.

Yes, the issue is that there is not much recourse from this. In fact there are very few courses of action that can be taken. However, in my opinion, that does not mean you should not try. I for one admire the fact you really are trying to do something here, as well as looking out for the other aspects (the att. suicide history etc.). I also appreciate your straight forward honesty.

If they dismiss the claims, they do, but, who knows? If they have other complaints against this person, then I can't see how at least some of the things ASE talks about can't occur?
Maybe they take notice after the 1st person, or the 10th person, but it is still important.

I feel like your story has already done a lot for showing people what to look out for and what can happen. I think more people need to feel like they can share these things and be open. Often these people inside are very clever and their skills lie in manipulation. It is not a personal flaw to fall for one of these people who are pretty near professionals at their game.