I found my "inmate" on not only myspace but other sites as well and he was advertising for penpals because he didn't receive any letter yet but that was a crock of bull. This is not the first time I found him on another site.

I guess I really should have stayed away because my feelings were starting to grow for him.

Why am I such a darn sucker? I feel like all guys do to me is play me for a real idiot.

That is Con-Games, you need to be aware of the different games that men play with women. Maybe some one else can share their same stories with you. I'm not in it for love, sorry. I can't help you with that part.

I feel for you.

__________________

"To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage." Confucius

Are you stating that only men can play that game? I have found a few female inmates repeatedly on different sites. I actually have a similiar thought to the OP. I found my PP on different sites now, and she told me in her first letter that I am the first person she has written in about 6 months.

Oh well I guess..

No, please don't think that I was saying only men play con-games. Women do too, but it is more common in men. I only write to women & I find the same thing. I just think that if there is love involved, it's harder on someone.

What is OP?

__________________

"To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage." Confucius

OP - Original Poster.. sorry..

I'm not in it for love either. I don't need to find a prisoner pen pal in hopes of having him fall in love with me. I'm not needy and I certainly am not desperate. I can get a man on the outside very easily and one that is a better catch than an inmate. But the thing is this guy strung me along and I fell for it. But not before I had many doubts and didn't' get my hopes up too high. I know from experience that men in prison/jail will say anything that they want a woman to hear to keep the letters flowing.

I just wrote him a letter and can't wait to hear what he has to say. I'm sure he will say anything to cover for himself but time will tell. I know I won't waste anymore of my time on him. I refuse to be one of many. He was the only pen pal and God knows there are many more out there, much better looking but who needs a prisoner when I can get a man that I can spend all the time in the world with with no bars or wire fence separating us any time of the day or night.

No need to get hostile in anyway. No one is questioning you. They were just simply stating that they could not give a full on opinion on your situation due to the fact that you had different feelings involved then they did/do. And to downgrade all inmates by stating you can find someone that is a better catch is unfair to everyone. But I hope you find what you are looking for, and good luck. Just be safe..

I'm not being hostile, nor am I downgrading anyone for being in prison or otherwise. If I was downgrading or felt that prisoners weren't worth my time then I wouldn't have written in the first place. I don't judge him or anyone. I know what his crime is but anyway, I just think he is leading me on. Maybe his feelings for me have changed since his ads went up. But I just have been through this before, not with a penpal but with my ex who was in jail for 4 months every year for the 3-1/2 years I wrote to him. He wrote the most loving letters, promises and mush and fluff and said things to make me feel so loved. I wrote to him every day and felt that he really was going to change only to be sorely disappointed after he came out.

I also notice the same "style" to his letters compared to my penpal and to a lot of the ads I see on different sites. I guess it is just another thing they all have in common. But in the mean time how many of them are leading women on only to end up breaking their hearts?

That is a good question, and I honestly wish we could all have that answer.. Not only men, but for female inmates as well.. It goes hand in hand, as in referred earlier in the post.. I hope things get better for you..

Thanks, I appreciate that. Maybe this wasn't even a good idea for me being that shortly before I started writing him I was a severe victim of domestic violence. So maybe I was just vulnerable and lonely and sad (not maybe I was). But anyway, now that guy is in jail and going to prison and I can't have contact with him nor do I want contact either.

But anyhow, I will wait and see what the penpal says and maybe I am just PMSing or maybe he is playing me. I just am not going to get to upset or get my hopes up about him. I just don't think it's worth getting upset over. My gut told me that something wasn't true. I just will wait and see. I was supposed to go to see him next Saturday but I am not sure I am going now. I don't want to travel 6 hours away for someone who has a whole line of women waiting for him.

Thanks again.

Pam