My bf has been gone for 6 months now and has 2.5 years left. We were together for 1.5 years before he got in trouble. He has been my best friend since 7th grade and I'm in college now to give you some kind of timeframe. While he was home, he was with me every, single night. And now, obviously, he is gone. I guess my questions is, Is it wrong for me to get mad at him some nights when I know have to go to sleep alone? That has been one of the hardest thing about this whole ordeal. He is not next to me when I wake up. I hope it's not wrong for me to be mad at him occasionally. I miss him so much and I can't wait for him to come home to me. I'm trying so hard to be strong for him, because he says that "my strength gives him strength." This is just so hard. I hope I'm not being selfish.

IMHO you have every right to be angry. You are in college working toward a degree and he made a mistake. If you weren't angry, I'd be worried about you.

He made his choice and made a mistake, unfortunately you are also paying for that mistake too.

Don't keep the fact that you are angry with him from him. Honesty is the basis for any good relationship that will last.

Don't keep this to yourself, do get any help you need and do tell him how much it has hurt and effected you. Depending on his response you will know where you are on his priorities now (as harsh as it sounds) as you weren't the first on his list before he made his mistake.

Been there, done that and as hard as dealing with it is, well we've been married for 27 years.

Be angry, think about you first because he didn't. If you want to work it out, confront him with your feelings and what you expect in the future.

It worked for me.

Thank you. I have talked to him about it. He knows how angry I am. He is constantly telling me how sorry he is and how this will never happen again and that he can't wait to come home and how much he loves me. You know...all the stuff that he knows I want to hear. I'm afraid it's all words though. I have told him how I feel a few times and I dont' want to say it too much. I know this is hard on him too, but at the same time, he did this. He put himself there so it's hard for me to be sympathetic towards him. I have accepted the situation but that doesn't make it any easier. Thank you for responding though. That's exactly what I was looking for.

Every thing our loved one does effects us as well. its ok to be angry and to hurt as well.

as someone mention in the prior post, he done this, and he too has to live it.

its great that you both have open communication though. With out, it will only fester.

God bless you both.

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Hi ksamec01 and welcome to WAP.

I'm no expert, but I would say that you are "grieving" the loss of your bf, even though it is only a temporary loss. From what I have read, there are common steps to grieving, and one of those steps are anger. People who lose a loved one often experience the same symptoms.

But, think of it this way. You are both young, and he is in for a relatively short period of time. You will survive this. If this experience doesn't break your realationship, it will make it stronger, and he will come out of it, being a better man. With him knowing that you will be there, beside him, he won't ever want to make the same mistake again. Good luck with everything.

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Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly.

Cowards are cruel, but the brave love mercy.

Some of my friends have told me that this will make our relationship stronger. I told him when all of this started that I will be here when he gets out and I'm not going anywhere. I know it will all end up for the better. But it's hard for the moment. I'm doing better know though. It's nice to be able to talk to people on here that are going through the same thing. So, thank you.

that is what we are here for

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I need coffee

I was with this guy for 2 years, He spent half of it in jail, He got out and we were happy, Then he started hitting me, He was in a half-way house and he left there so the police were looking for him as well, Then the night before my birthday he came home and beat me with acrow-bar, He is back in jail for Strong-Armed battery and he keeps writing me telling me hoew sorry he is and how he will never do it again, I am trying to be srong and all I can dis think of him, That maybe it could be okay, then I keep telling myself that if he did it once he will do it again,I know you are probably thinking I am crazy, I just son't have anyone that can actually listen without putting the blame on me, But I am a wonderful woman, I go to work every day, I take care of myself and my children, And I don't deserve to be treated like that,But I am so confused and need some advice.

Hi Webeinfinity,
Not sure who you talk with that puts the blame on you? No matter what went on, to hit someone with a crow bar is wrong, your the victim.

For him to do that, he has to have something going on, drugs, alcohol, strong emotional issues or mental. His problem even if he sincerely means he is sorry,he will not just stop. He needs to stay away from you and any children you have, that is your responsiblity.

Your not crazy, your hoping and want it to work, want to believe in him, that you can make it all right.
It will never happen, he needs serious help which you cannot do or place yourself in a threatening position. You have to be strong, not for him but, yourself and the kids.

I would never want to continue a relationship with those odds, it would only be a losing one, maybe next time your life or someone else's too, that is the only responsibilty in your court.


Stay strong !!!!

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Webeinfinity, my experience has shown that once a man is violent he will continue to be that way. He has huge issues that you cannot fix for him. Be strong and think of yourself and know that you deserve better and you will find better!!!!!