Curious,,,what do people do to keep the home fires raging,,,,ok flickering? Hahaha
I am curious as to what people do to keep the love alive and not get stale and stganant waiting,,,sheesh!

Just by being ourselves. Not placing unrealistic exectations on each other. Dealing with our situation and the ones that happen around us as a united team. Laughing together. Visiting as often as I can. Living as full a life as possible, for both of us. No secrets and no regrets.

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$10,000 for 'new server'...
$700 per month for running costs...
lieing and taking advantage of vulnerable people ~ priceless

Exactly! Being ourselves, some therapy to insure our definitons & expectations are real, sharing interets and letting each other have their own space and hobbies. We have 21 years same gender relationship, discoverd when my house cat first wrote a lonely inmate in 1987. Magic happens!

Funny. My roommate just asked me the same thing. Kind of. She was wondering how I can cope with being away from a loved one for so long and remain faithful.

For starters I am an extremely faithful and loyal person to begin with. I would never sway. I have a lot of pics around. On my desk, in my wallet, on my fridge.

Constant letters is a big thing. We keep the letters flowing to two or three a week. Sometimes we go through spurts of a full week of continuous letters. It is really just a matter of keeping the communication open.

For me it the problem is not really being able to keep the fire burning. The distance has only made things stronger... with each passing day. The tough part is just being away an unable to control the un-controlables.

mancandy pics! (I was a model in my early 20s, I send recent pics.. taking them myself is... difficult...), long letters every 3-4 days and at least one daily 'hi' via jpay mail sometimes more. She writes in batches about twice a week. Sometimes sweet, sometimes serious. We try hard to just have what we can of a daily life and relationship. I make myself available to her on any of my phones at any time to forestall any nagging doubts that inevitably come up. We worked hard to build trust early on, and it hasn't been a defining concern on either of our parts. I involve her in my daily life and work, talking about plans and goals helps her a lot. Helps both of us.

She struggles with the lack of control a bit, but I make sure she knows that I would never put her in a position where she'd have to physically show me why it's worth it to hold on to her. I don't even look at other women, intimacy with a loved one is far more important to me than anything casual.. We both had one burning love in our lives early on that we lost/messed up and recognize how important it is to work hard to take advantage of this.. interesting set of circumstances and scary good chemistry that we've found in each other.

Can I just say Just loooove chatting with the men in this arena

me too, it is really useful to get the other perspective

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$10,000 for 'new server'...
$700 per month for running costs...
lieing and taking advantage of vulnerable people ~ priceless

I really don't understand why I don't see more of it. I mean when I've looked around for stories or advice I've never found a man with an incarcerated woman. I'm not sure I would have been emotionally capable of handling this situation had I been with her before she 'went away', but we're doing well.

Whatever vulnerability I saw in her in the beginning is gone. She's bouncy and happy now, and while I think she was doing fine with personal growth and happiness before me, hearing the way she talks to me now makes it all worth it.

[quote=bradleyhaug;932850

Whatever vulnerability I saw in her in the beginning is gone. She's bouncy and happy now, and while I think she was doing fine with personal growth and happiness before me, hearing the way she talks to me now makes it all worth it.[/QUOTE]


I hear you loud and clear on this one. I feel the same exact way. I have noticed a big turn around. On both sides.

Be very careful before committing to any thing . It is best to let them parole or to be released to family or other housing . I can't speak for other states

More than one man has been waiting for his "Girl" at Gatesville Now Crain where all female TDCJ prisoners are released only to watch them get into their Husbands car or truck ! . At least they have the fortitude to ask a boss who to speak to and soon the momentarily happy scamming couple is now both 10 + year guests of TDCJ . My friends have told me of this going on . Few got out of the county !

Always check on marrige records it is worth the cash and other public records with the state your PP is in before going to get them on relase . If they are pulling a scam call that state and press all charges. If it is known they wil do lots more as a know mail fraud STG will flag all mail to be read and copied for the rest of thier time time and the BS will stop If they know we can and wil find otu they will stop as they will do much more time with a well earned enhancement as a habitual felon !

In TX it is very very difficult to parole out of state if they say they can try to check on that . Usually theywil haveto if not more in some cases

If you are sponsoring them on parole Ask that states parole board for every condition of parole and get all their records you can not doing so is asking for a nightmare . It can save you from going to prison your self

If they are on Parole . They usually are bound to the stat e and in some case county of conviction . Paroling out of state is very difficult unless your originally lived in that state at time of arrest . They will be bond to that and the receiving states rules and condtions of parole usually .

In TX it is next to impossible to parole out of state unless you lived there at time or arrest .

This is also true for men I have heard of lots of women waiting at the Walls only ot see their "man " go off with another woman ! be very care check up on things court records of marriages, divorce, children, civil commitments ect . Get all their parole info if they won't send it that is ahuge red flag !!!


Be Very Careful and check every possible record before letting a to be released convict into your home or sponsoring their parole [color="Red"]

Not doing so can be devastating emotionally financially and more . It can possibly lead y to your incarceration!


Check up on theme as deeply as you can and make sure of every thing . If it goes wrong do not be afraid to turn them in !

Be extremely careful picking up a PP on release . Have a cell phone with 911 and that DOC number ready to call , take photos if you can this is is a common scam . To have you wait for them on release, send lots of money set up a place to live and be waiting for home officially while not far down the road is the real person they are going to . This is a very serious felony . More than one person has watched their PP / MWI partner walk on by to person waiting while you are the person who was supposed to pick them up !

Some have even gotten into vehicle with their PP, stopped at a place to eat and taken off !

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