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Old 10-02-2009, 11:34 AM
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Default Re: How do you keep the home fires burnin?

1 in 11 Prisoners Serving Life Sentences...........

A new report released by The Sentencing Project finds a record 140,610 individuals are now serving life sentences in state and federal prisons, 6,807 of whom were juveniles at the time of the crime. In addition, 29% of persons serving a life sentence (41,095) have no possibility of parole, and 1,755 were juveniles at the time of the crime. No Exit: The Expanding Use of Life Sentences in America represents the first nationwide collection of life sentence data documenting race, ethnicity and gender. The report’s findings reveal overwhelming racial and ethnic disparities in the allocation of life sentences: 66% of all persons sentenced to life are non-white, and 77% of juveniles serving life sentences are non-white.

Data Detectives: 1 in 11 Prisoners Serving Life Sentences

While some have the ability to nurture a relationship upon release others do not have that luxury, having their loved one serve life sentences. So are those people behind bars less worthy of love? I think it is healthy to be cautious, but at what point do we start to believe in another? It is sad when you have so mistrust, even for the ones you love.
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Old 10-02-2009, 04:58 PM
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Default Re: How do you keep the home fires burnin?

There are many threads on these relationships and why they are very difficult and usually do not work

How do you establish a trusting monogamous relationship via monitored mail , telephone call s and highly controlled visits ? On a infrequent basis in most cases .

Unfortunately that is part of a life sentence . Top get life you had to have done some thing very serious usually murder . Why they are there is another topic

They are in prison and living with others who have committed crimes for the most part . and there will always be distrust . It is not the same as a freeworld friendship or relationship . You do not know what they are doing . The red flags we see in freeworld relationships are not easily seen if at all .

Going into a friendship or romantic relationship with prisoners trusting blindly is asking for trouble .
Some trust is OK but total trust is not possible unless you are either naive, idealistic or insane .

So it is ok for convicts to lie for money . The account of a man waiting for his girl whom she said in letters and visits was going to parole to him is true . He had gotten a place to live in TX set up all kinds of things only to watch her walk past him with out so much has a glance and get into another guys truck . Come to find out they were involved and she was just playing him for money so her “boy friend” did not have to . This also goes on with men I saw a few guys get caught . Now they ar not getting out for a very long time and will also serve federal fraud charges because they were via mail and interstate so they ruined their lives over store money . Their mail will be flagged and read very carefully if not copied due them being n to run scams their calls all will be recorded and other restrictions all for store money

Here is thread about a similar incident

Just have to vent


Inlie in the freeworld you cannot knowstuff lie this until it is too late . unless they get caught by that states prisn system or other law enforcement agency . You simply cannot walk up to the prison and say hey I am here to see so and so. You have no idea what they really are doing .



With outgoing in details I had been asked TDCJ and parole in TX by some one who posted here a year or so ago . That person was being told by the offender who the y were involved with . that the offender would be paroling ot the poster . I told them one, not a chance knowing the charges, two that interstate parole in TX is extremely difficult .That person made a few calls looked up their PPS record and found out that thy had been locked up before and parole was very unlike especially on their first time for the crimes involved and the fact the offender had prior felonies .

This individual questioned the offender . They got a rude reply that they were looking into their business! WTF your in prison asking for a relationship place to live and lots of financial help !

Your in prison and want help you damn well better open up about your past and tell the truth abut parole in your a state not have some person spending all kinds of money on you when you know it is not a remote possibility .
This person has not posted since getting burned .

More than one person has asked me about things I told them what I know and let them make informed decision based on what the system really allows vs what the offender told them .

The other side of this is the prisoner doe not know what you are doing total
trust in such a situation is all but impossible

None of my friends wants to jump into a relationship with any one they all know it is not realistic or possible . It is OK to be a special friend sort of like “dating” not a deeply committed relationship and see how it goes on release but to give total trust while they are incarcerate is a good way to be very badly hurt and end up with a empty ban account no friends and family and possibly legal troubles .

These relationships especially with lifers and those doing big numbers a rvery difficult and rarely work out . Though I interestingly the success rate seems to be higher with female offenders who are with in 3 – 4 years of release and have good family contact and support .
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Old 10-25-2009, 04:34 PM
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Default Re: How do you keep the home fires burnin?

"keepin the home fires burning" takes love, commitment, trust & honesty. If you don't have all of those you have nothing. My husband has been incarcerated for 2 years, but hopefully his appeal will change that. We talk on the phone once a week, as calls are massively over priced, & write 3-5 times a week. I visit every 3 months or so, then we talk every-night, & visit almost daily. Like anything in life if you want it to succeed it takes work. IN "our" relationship we both work very hard at it.
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