I need some advice,

I started writing my penpal almost a year ago and we hit it off immediately. We have all the same veiws, values, goals, etc. A few months ago we started a relationship together and everything was going WONDERFUL!

But, I haven't heard from him in 6 weeks and don't know what to think. The last thing I got from him was a card telling me how much he loved and missed me, then SILENCE! I wrote him 2 letters asking him to please let me know what was going on...SILENCE! So I called his counselor and he is fine and they are not on lock down. I have no idea why he has gone silent.

No phone call? No letter? I don't understand what is going on!! Has this happened to anyone else?

Hey! Sorry that this is happening to you I know you feel but really I dont think I have an answer for you but the only thing I can say is if somebody wanted to contact you they would no matter what the circumstances are. I mean with my PP and I whenever it wasnt time to send a letter to eachother we would always send little notes to eachother letting eachother know whats going on or if anything is going on. Maybe he's mad at you or maybe he wants to end it or something I dont really I mean thats pretty odd that only after a year ya'll started a relationship. They say you have to be careful with those men in prison cos they'll take advantage of you and he probably did that and now sees you were really into him. I dont know 6 weeks is a long time but ive stopped writing my PP twice for 2 or 3 months but he would send me note worried about me. Id say if he hasnt written you by mid of next month or the end of next week then he's not going to write you. You've already sent him 2 letters and contacted his counsilor so something must be up. Ask his councilor to talk to him and get him to write you or something. Let me know what happens.

Hi Idontknow,

Im really sorry to hear what happened to you. I had a similar thing happen with a guy in Texas a number of years back. We really hit it off and seemed to both be enjoying the other's company when suddenly he just stopped writing. I wrote several times and got no response and decided he had just changed his mind about our friendship.

Then I reread his last letter and while he didnt say anything directly, there was a lot in it about since he had been in prison such a long time, he would be a burden to whoever he was with when he got out, and would need a lot of support to get back on his feet. Perhaps my response didnt adequately address his fears; Im not sure. I just think that somtimes these guys get very fearful and insecure about opening themselves up emotionally to someone else since so many have been let down so much during their lives. I dont know whether thats the case here or not. I just know that Im thinking thats what happened with my guy, and maybe something similar happened with yours.

Id love to know if you hear from him again. Keep us posted.

G'day idontknow, personally i have not had your experiences, but i would not give up writing if this man is important to you. Who knows where his mind is at this point in time, what emotions he is feeling etc if any. Like FGC said, many become insecure and go silent. Some test to see how important they really are to you. Sometimes people put walls up, not to keep you out, but for self preservation and to see what you are willing to do to get through those same barriers.

I can share about one friend, he cut himself off from the outside world when the pain was too great, and things inside were unbearable for him. He felt like he needed to shut down. He accepted no visits, returned no mail and tried to deal with life behind the walls as best as he could.

I would send a card, letting him know he is in your thoughts, and i would continue to do this once a week for as long as it took, but that is me. Hopefully, he is the real deal and is just coming to terms with all that has been shared and you will hear from him soon.

I know how worrying it can be not hearing, so i sincerely hope for the both of you he will contact you soon, if only to say goodbye. Take care.

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If you are compassionate in your approach to all tasks in life, believing that all "problems" contain valuable lessons, you will find peace of mind.
~Dr. Lee Jampolsky

Smiley,

I admire you for remaining in touch that way. Perhaps I should have been more persistent with my friend from Texas. It's so hard to know what is going on in the mind of someone in prison when I've never had that experience. Certainly a cause for thought.

FGC, nothing to admire. Some people just don't know when to quit when it comes to caring about others.....LOL....i'm one of them.

__________________
If you are compassionate in your approach to all tasks in life, believing that all "problems" contain valuable lessons, you will find peace of mind.
~Dr. Lee Jampolsky

Thats great, Smiley. We need more people like you.

I will second that, smiley is one of the best friends anyone could ask for

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"Fall seven times, stand up eight"

"Go back a little to leap further"

Excellence can be obtained if you:
care more than others think is wise;
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dream more than others think is practical;
expect more than others think is possible.

Hi Idontknow,
There are more people who are desiring your love. According to your story you have done you could, I believe it is not only your responsibility to keep your friendship alive. You may have a great feeling for this relationship but still It takes two to tango.
He might have his reason to not reply you but his decency is not your obligation.

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when he started I was facing the hell and but when he stoped the hell was facing me. I guess 13 is just an unlucky number and it was my age.

Dear Idontknow,

I'm sorry about that, what happened to you.
Yes, I think the best answer is from Smiley. I would also try to carry forward with writing, to let him know that you still are loving him and be there for him. I wish you all the best and an answer from your beloved.
My thougths are with you.

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The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or event touched. They must be felt with the heart