I am pleased I came back to this thread as it has been very interesting to read each and everyone's views on this, I have a PP on DR and up till 3 days ago I just wrote to him with a view that his a person and he makes laugh, and his on DR for a reason. And YES I know the reason, because I read the whole case history, not because I asked him !!!! Because I wanted to know, I was in a situation thinking should I, could I, maybe ? . So I posted that first letter off, god I was so nervous, I just didn't know what to expect. However I was pleasantly surprised, he was a person of great humor and the letters flow very easily now, he insists I ask him questions, and I ask him simple things like 'what did you have for breakfast today' his on a cardio diet. And what does he think his achieved since he has been incarcerated, and what skills he has that would benefit others ETC, he likes my questions, his intelligent and very opinionated, but his also very thoughtful, his letters have bought a few tears to my eyes I can tell you LOL. He doesn't tell me jokes or even ask me to send him jokes, but he gives me a daily run down of his day on the day he receives my letter, some parts I read between the lines and other parts I see his hurting. His just received a new digital TV and he has no idea how to use it because the guards have kept the booklet and they tease him by saying. 'Hey whats on TV J ' LOL he says ' not a lot' and I have 2 full pages of A4 paper on this TV. His in a top max prison and I know his not innocent and nore does he. But he is human and like anyone else they need to be treated as such, he has made me so aware and I think now it was the best decision that I made because I think ( feel ) I have made someone happy. On the other side of the coin is I have treated him like a pen pal, of which I have never had before, I am 41 and live a good life, I also have a death sentence over my head too....... I have emphysema and lost certain members of my family to this too. ( He doesn't need to know this either ) I was informed that after being on DR for X amount of years you will get a DATE, I don't think I was prepared to hear this when I was told. As this made me more aware of what I was doing, I have had a downer the past few days over this, but you can rest assure no matter how long he has left I shall continue giving him my strength and support, and most of all understanding. And after all I contacted him first, so who am I to let anyone down ! ! !

Michaela x

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In the beginning it is always dark..

A year ago i lost a very special friend to the death penalty . but we wrote for 5 years. I feel honoured i knew him. The time of his passing hurt me more than i ever imagined and i felt i would never do a death row pen pal again. Solely because the grief was unbarable. We chatted so many times about when his time would come and he wanted me there with him. I know i could never do that and i think that is part of the grief i felt. I feel that i let him down for not being there.But how can anyone watch a person they love die and be prepared to watch that.
Well his family was there and they called me minutes after. It was the worst day, week ,year of my life.....
Did it put me off writing DR ?
Well for 12 months it did but i now have 2 more pals on DR and we have a great friendship and i know the ultimate end will com . But i also know they will know i loved them as a friend and i was maybe one person that got to know them for who they are and not what they once was
xxxx

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I thought about it very carefully. I believe that if you decide to write to someone on death row then you should stay with them until the end (unless of course they turn out to be not worthy of writing to).

I pondered for along while about how I would feel when "that day" finally came and would I be able to handle it - I was never able to say I could as I realised that it all depends on the strength of the bond you both form.

For example, if my pp Michael was on death row I would be devastated. It would probably scar me for a very long while because I absolutely adore him and we have become very close. However, my pp who is on death row, although I am committed to him we have not connected. This is not because of his situation, it's just worked out that way due to personalities. That's not to say though that when his day comes I won't be very sad because I will mourn him

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Ruby

i'm not that kind of person who will judge about others.
the reason i write people on dr is they need friends too,maybe more than other inmates.
a lot of them or forgotten by friends and family and are feeling very lonely.
that's why i write and i don't make only their days but my friends mine also,they have learned me so much about life.
life isn't always a party and you have to live it as it's your last one ,before you know it's taken away.

xxx

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be nice to the people on your way up,because you will meet them again on your way down

hey don't get me WRONG i don't judge people at all. my main reason y i choose not 2 write 2 an inmate in DR is because just to imagine that 1 day i won't receive a letter 4rm him just make me feel really bad... i know their still human! nobody is perfect,but i just can't deal w/that. AND like i said b 4 this is just my opinion.

no problem at all s1nc1tygrl i know everone has his one opinion i don't mind at all.
i can understand your reason.

xxx.

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be nice to the people on your way up,because you will meet them again on your way down

I have written to prisoners for around 9 years now. I've had friends on DR and friends on population. I've had friends on DR to be executed (2 of them) and one who committed suicide. It was incredibly hard but it was worth it. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Yes, I think its something to think about. But I wouldn't think about it too hard. I believe that ultimately people are people, no matter where they end up.

Really, I would suggest not thinking about the if or when too much for now. They'll be plenty of time to think about that unfortunately, when there time does roll around.

My best to you,
GypsyRose

I write to 3 that are in general population & 1 that is on death row. I find they all need encouragement & support, they all love really anything I send to them in the mail. Whether it be a letter, card, joke, poem or story. I really find no differences in the attitudes of the 3 versus the 1.

As far as how I feel about writing to someone who'll eventually get out of prison versus someone who won't & will probably die there, I really feel no difference. A human is a human is a human, ya know? We all have feelings & want to be loved & needed regardless of our current situations.

What is odd about my death-row pp is that she is really rather infamous & I had no idea who she was when I signed up to write to her.(I got her name from somewhere other than this website) Well when she responded to my first letter - I did an internet search on her because I couldn't remember what she looked like or the website I'd found her at. WOW - what the search engine came back with shocked me - she was all over the internet because of her crime & I hadn't a clue. I've never told her what I discovered about her & she's never brought up her notoriety either. Just odd though - ya know? But I treat her with the same respect & love I do all of my other penpals - she deserves nothing less.

Sincerely,

Greyson

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"Some wish to live within the sound of Church or Chapel Bell; I want to run a Rescue Shop within a yard of hell." CT Studd

HEY GREYSON,
FIRST OF ALL WELCOM TO THIS FORUM,NICE TO SEE YOU POSTING ALREADY.
YOU ARE SO RIGHT A HUMAN IS A HUMAN FOR ME COUNTS THE SAME.

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be nice to the people on your way up,because you will meet them again on your way down

Thanks Whiterose!!! That was very kind of you & nice to meet a friendly & smiling face. God Bless you in all that you do!!!!

Greyson

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"Some wish to live within the sound of Church or Chapel Bell; I want to run a Rescue Shop within a yard of hell." CT Studd