Condone meaning......to forgive, pardon, or overlook (an offense).

Personally i do not overlook an offense, forgive...YES I HAVE to move on, believing now i went through the things i did so it has enabled me to help others. For this is how i survived, because much like Victor Frankl has said, "i give my life meaning" and yes this is the way i have been able to rationalize and cope in all honesty and am not ashamed to say ..... but i also do not judge another based on their offense either.

What i am saying is i do advocate strongly on behalf of those that have committed sex offenses and who have murdered when it has been appropriate. Do i see them as "poor victims?" NO! I do not.....BUT....i also have a depth of understanding that is unique to myself having been a survivor of abuse and to the horror of many i would still choose to write, volunteer my time and understand why people do as they do. I guess that is why when people talk about sex offenders and the thoughts they have i reflect and feel horrified thinking they believe these people are monsters that no one would like, are not in their own circle of family and friends etc, when more times than not these people share lunches with you, dinners, jokes and people whom you truly like. Their acts are what disgusts us, not who they are. If that makes sense to you??

As for who is a victim and who is not.......Their are victims both sides of the wall when you really get to know life stories. One friend of mine ended up living on the streets aged 10 through no fault of his own, his mother was in prison, dad long gone, paternal grandmother died suddenly. So those she sought to protect him from.....gang members, then became his protectors.....he honestly believed they cared about him, were his family. And in that family and all around him people were selling drugs, doing drugs, it was an accepted part of their life. He did not associate with other kids that had families were mum and dad worked a 9 - 5 job, that sat around the dinner table to share in a meal, no one that cared if he went to school or not. In his world what society saw as a positive he was taught other wise, not even going into how the Police would come in take his drugs, money and then release him time after time having had their fun. He feared them and was full of mistrust, were i grew up to trust they would protect me and to seek them out if i was in trouble. The Police would respond quickly to trouble in white neighborhoods, but his you were lucky if they came within the hour. His gang would send him on a plane aged 13 with drugs strapped to his chest to fly interstate and make a delivery, he did NOT get paid big bucks as some would have us believe. He was recruited at a young age (10) and before he had a FULL understanding he was serving LIFE inside aged 17, having no decent representation and the one he did have was disbarred a few years later. There is so much more than what i have shared here.

It is NO sob story it is a reality for many young black impoverished kids growing up 38 plus years ago when attitudes were a little different. When you are young and you do not understand you have a choice, or even believe you do, where does that take you? Tragically some people are victims them self way before they inflict it on another as you see with many sex crimes. There is so much more to crimes than the act itself if you care to understand and the victims varied.

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The last of all freedoms is the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances.
G. W. Allport.

So you are saying if someone has been molested as a child when they grow up they have an excuse if they go out and molest a child,because what has happened in the past is a justifiable excuse.?
I don't think so,

Almost any person in the world will at sometime in their life be a victim of some kind of crime ,do they all then go out and commit crime, just because it happened to them..?
i don't think so

I also think if you ask a lot of people if they think prolific,cronic and unrepentant sex offenders should recieve sympathy because in the past they were molested.
I'd bet biggest majority would say NO.

They make the choice to offend

There are millions of people from violent,drug addicted and broken homes,who have grown up on the streets, had no one to look after them or care for them, and have had horrors in their life that no one would wish on their worst enemy.A lot of these people have turned their life around for the better by their own hard work, yes the past never goes away but if you let it rule your life you will always be it's slave never it's master.

They are the people we should take as an example.Not those just looking for excuses to "justify" what they did.

Not everyone who has had bad times in their life turns to crime,in anything many try all that much harder NOT to go down the road of ending up in jail, and NOT play the victim, they have dignity, and go on with a decent law abiding life,when by your statement they would have every excuse to end up in prison.

English, no i am not making "excuses" nor am i trying to justify why SOME people do as they do, but i come from a place of trying to understand. So i sincerely understand when you say their are many (victims) in all walks of life and they do not go out to offend, and most in the community would not sympathize with sex offenders, nor take the time to understand their illness, (particular group, pedophiles). I know that from my own life experiences and people are angered, especially those having suffered abuse themselves having made good when they hear others talk of having compassion and an understanding because they hold the belief that ALL can endure and come out victorious, but that is NOT the case for everyone.

Do not be mistaken, just because i have compassion does not mean i am weak in my beliefs or hold them as "poor victims" on the other hand, i find it difficult to have an understanding their because of my choices and life experience, it took me a LONG time to understand and accept that; and like you i have the belief people do have CHOICES but you need to be AWARE you have those choices in order for you to CHOOSE and i am not touching on the subject of having mental health issues and finding yourself in the system.

Speaking personally......... i understand how two people can be raised in the same house, experience the SAME abuse, where one will use those experiences to help others, or even insure their children will not endure as they did growing up, and the other is lost to a world of drugs, self loathing and pain. I have lived it and continue to live it like most people having been abused in some shape or form. I am apart of a life you speak of and i guess that is why i have the compassion and understanding i do at this stage of my life.

Personally i don't think people..... *have an excuse to end up in prison*....... but they do have my understanding in many cases as to why their life took the path it did and how they ended up their, but...... NO EXCUSES!!

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The last of all freedoms is the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances.
G. W. Allport.

At least we seem to agree on some things...