so back a few months ago when i sent out my first group of intro letters (3 if i remember correctly on August 24th), 1 inmate i had written to took a month to reply (but for good reason.. she had gotten a 30 day suspension on her mail for what ever reason). i write my reply back and have it in the mail the following day (September 24th) only to never hear from her again...

then, just last wednesday or thursday, i get a letter from a friend of hers. said friend told me how my PP had gotten out and had met some guy she'd been penpals with for awhile and how they were in love. said friend had commented to my PP that i was "cute" so she gave her my pictures i'd sent her and my mailing address to write me.

now i'm outta sorts... i don't want the friend to be misled and think we're going to have to same turnout like my PP and her man turned out and i feel a little uneasy that she would have given out my info like that.

i haven't gone to look up what the friend is in for (as she didn't say in her letter) and other than where she's locked up and her age (which she is 6 years older), i know next to nothing about her.
i don't know if i should be nice and reply but clearly state i already have someone i'm interested in yet would still be friends with, write back and say thanks but no thanks, or just not reply.

while the last two do sound heartless... i don't know how to go about this.


any advice or suggestions? has this happened to anyone else?

You say you feel "a little uneasy" with the situation, so if it was me i would send a nice reply/card saying i thank her for her time, but i am unable to write and wish her well in her endeavors to find a friend through the pen. She is not left wondering, you are not left feeling "heartless" (in your terms) and it only takes a few dollars and moments of your time to be polite. How hard is that?

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If you are compassionate in your approach to all tasks in life, believing that all "problems" contain valuable lessons, you will find peace of mind.
~Dr. Lee Jampolsky

That’s a tough one! You obviously don’t want to be in a situation where you are uncomfortable. If it were me personally and I didn’t want to be writing to this other person, I would send one letter explaining why you don’t want to write. I suppose honesty is the best policy

Well, you could write her and be honest about what you are thinking. If you want to give it a go you could check out her crime (if you want to , most people do) and write a letter being honest, I can be a pen friend but that is about it or write back and tell her you're not looking for another pen-pal.

It is really all about what you want. I would just be respectful and polite in your wording just as you would like someone to be with you if they were letting you down.

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William Jennings Bryan

If you're feeling uneasy about it and don't wish to write her, just send a card or note as suggested and let her know you just aren't up for a pen-pal.

__________________

William Jennings Bryan

i would like to add that in her letter she did tell what happened and why she's serving time.

after reading the replies, i made a single-page reply letter thanking her for her letter. then kindly saying i didn't want to lead her on, that i'd already found someone, but if she didn't have a problem with being just friends, we'd see how things go.
i understand sending a letter out to make a friend to help pass the time, just as long as you don't go in expecting it to turn into something more (that can be said for both sides on being a PP).

so, as long as she's cool with being just friends, I'll be friendly seeing as her friend is no longer there.
let ya know how it goes though!