I would really really appreciate your help please. I am thinking of writing to a penpal but I have questions first.

You know when you go through the inmates' profiles and you read what they have written and look up their crime etc?? (well I dont know if everyone looks up their crime or not!) well sometimes you look at the earliest release date and its like 09/2010 or something like that. Is it worth still writing to them even though they might be coming out then? or is that like an appeal date. Some inmates have earliest date and then latest release date - I am guessing it means they have to be released by that date or is that again an appeal thing? Please make me understand

Also some profiles are saying I'm looking for that special lady I'm not looking to start a relationship (especially a long distance one!) I'm after a friend is it worth writing to them anyway and state that in the letter?

I dont understand the American Judisal system well, I dont understand the sentencing even though I can figure out the whole Life without parole or with parole thing or the sentencing of 15 - 20 years thing can they ever be released early?

Also what do I say in a first contact letter?

many thanks for your help, I'm sorry if my questions seem obvious but I just want to understand things a bit more before I start on that journey.

Hey let me know how things will work out,good luck.

Welcome to site

I have only been writing inmates for the last two months. The earliest release date is usually the date they can be paroled on. Most of the time they are denied. If you go to there respective state department of justice website and look them up you can see how many times they have had there parole deferred or granted and sometimes revoked. Some state site have horrible navigation so I recommend googling, the state prison inmate search. example (Florida prison inmate search)

I write gay inmates and they all are either looking or open to a romantic relationship. Unless the person seems to have ulterior motives I write them and state somewhere in the letter that I am only interested in friendship.

For your introduction letter just tell them a little about yourself. hobbies, education, favorite type of music. I like to look at introduction letters as five minutes conversations. What would you tell someone about yourself in the first five minutes the first time you met them.

I am not sure about straight inmates but I know a lot of gay inmates don't respond. Some of the ones who respond are trying to use you, just like most of the guys on the outside You could write to more than one to increase your odds of finding a new friend.

Good luck. It can take up to three weeks to receive a response so be patient and read some of the threads in the general section to get an idea of how this pen pal thing works.

For myself, I don't write to anyone who explicitly states that they are looking for romance. My feeling is that they have made their needs and wants in a penpal relationship clear and I cannot be the person that they wish for me to be. I'd prefer to write to inmates who are more likely to reciprocate my offer of friendship. I also think it probably leads to less problems down the road.

But, that's just my personal thoughts and preferences. If someone really stands out to you and they are looking for romance, you could still see if they are open to a friendship alone. But, I'd draw the lines pretty clearly right from the start.

Good luck with it! Writing to penpals is a wonderful adventure!

Hey, I'm in Europe. I sent my first letters 20 days ago and still waiting for an answer. I wrote to 4 different people (the two last ones got my letters only one week ago, through the e-mail introduction letter offered by WAP).

I've read many threads, and I think it's very very important for you to know (and look up) for their crimes, because a few who didn't ask felt betrayed a year or so later when they found out - they have become very close with their pp in the meantime and it hurts them a lot to find out the truth about their pp. Their relationship ends and it's hard for both of them, always keep in mind that the one you're leaving behind is locked up and lonely.

So if you have your own limits considering the crime (ex : rape, sexual abuse, child molesting, etc.) it's important to choose a pp according to that.


Tjames is right, you can find pretty much everything on the Internet, contrary to France, in the US they post anything on the Net. The earliest date of release (parole), is often denied.
Also, you need to look up when they got inside too, to find out how long they've been locked in. The ones who're only for a year or so - well are just looking a way to pass the time by, and once they're out - vanished into the air. If you're looking for a long relationship, look up their release date.

As for the "looking for their special someone", I'm ONLY looking for friendship and I explicitely write it in my first letter - it's very important. Unless you're looking for love, but remember they're in the US and you're not (what it seems). I advise you to read their pp request, to see if you share the same hobbies, and of course I think it's important how they write, what they expect from a pp - some take classes and are taking full responsibility for their actions, to me it's important.

Because the truth is, 90% are guilty - I think it does matter when one says he knows what he's done and is willing to change his life, turn it around and this is a good time for you to show up and help him steer into that direction, and help him getting back on the right tracks. It's different for a lifer but still they can take classes and learn a lot and help the young inmates. It depends on you, what you expect from that friendship.

Also, because it's happened to many people around here, tell him that even if he's not interested in you,which is their right (hey we choose them, they have the right to choose us or to reject us too), well ask him (unless you want to) not TO pass around your name and address to other inmates.

Well, it did work out once (one member of WAP, who was first very mad to have her pp request passed around finally found a great pp, but most of the time it's the opposite, and perverts are everywhere - in jail) but most of the time you'll get letters from guys you never heard of, and it's kind of freaky !

The best thing to do I think is to read as many threads of that forum as you can - because it'll teach you a lot - you have to keep in mind that these people are just like us, some will use you, trying to get money or something else from you, and some will become amazing pals. Just like in real life, sometimes we're lucky with our encounters, sometimes we're not.

Also, from what I've read, the average is only 1 out of 4 inmates reply to your request, but some members have been lucky and all responded ! So Tjames is right when he says you may try to write to a couple of them.

Also, if you're in Europe - you may have to wait up to 3 or 4 weeks before getting an answer, and that is what is killing me because I have no patience ! International stamps cost almost 1$, and some inmates are indigent and their mail goes through the prison mail room and sometimes they take all their time to do their job. You have to know that the ingoing and the outgoing mail are opened and are read (not all the time) by the prison staff.

If you have any other questions, please pm me.

Oh, I chose my pp for different reasons, but their own words did matter a lot ! Not their crimes, because I googled their names and found out about it so it's no surprise. No, I was attracted by how they introduced themselves and what they expected from that pp thing.

Choose an age rank (I don't know how old you are), a sex if you'd rather have a female or a male pp, then if their sexual orientation matters, then look up - if one photo "talks to you", click on the ad - look up their crime, their earliest parole date, when they got in and READ their ad. Sometimes you can look up to 25 different profiles, but then - not exactly knowing why - you'll keep coming back to one specific profile. It's your instinct, follow it.

Hope it'll bring you luck !

Me, well I'm still hoping , maybe this week will be the mail week !
It's been done - they say that sometimes they even sell it !

the last sentence has NOTHING to do at the end of my message

LOL

Hi there and welcome,

im only writing to someone for a few months now and have made it clear from the beginning im not looking for a relationship just friendship. And he's cool with that.

In my case i just wrote a short text stating who i am (you know hobbies, work, children, husband etc) and that im looking for friendship. He was the only one i send a letter to and he did respond as soon as he could.

So maybe i was just lucky.....you could use the search criteria for matching profiles and view their crime and just draw your own line.

Good luck and just use common sense and everyuthing will be fine


Sab99

Thank you so much for your responses, much appreciated. I do tend to go and read their crime but there is a bit on there that says
WriteAPrisoner.com - Prison Pen Pals
when I try and go into the correctional facility to read up the crime it wont let me maybe I'm doing something wrong.
the other day I was so disappointed I saw this one profile that I thought oh well let me see if i can start my writing by corresponding to this guy who was on death row only to note that he had been executed 3 weeks prior - why wasnt that taken off??? Anyway to continue I will write and hopefully get a pp to correspond with.
Thank you again for your responses!!

I think im right in thinking this guy can cause you a whole lot of trouble, I know its for you to find out, and i will prob get told off lol, but i just thought id give you the heads up to be watching out for RED FLAGS.

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What guy UKGAL ? Because the one she's talking about was executed.

Well, I guess she's got a point - why his ad wasn't taken off ? Also, I've seen ads when the earliest release date is "2009"... I've got to check up at the facility to find out if he's still or not incarcerated. But newbies may have a hard time to find out.

Tell us, when you have found a profile you like, and if you need to know more about him - tell us, you can pm me if you want !! We're all here to help !