You gotta love the South... - Page 3

pennylane · #21 (**permalink**) 06-21-2008, 02:55 PM

I'm very sure i will love my bf's hometown. I never was there, but he told me so many things, tiny details, it's or i was there already many times.
For some odd reason, when people talking proper English on the phone it's way harder for me to understand then when someone has a real Southern twang. I bet after three months there i also gained the accent, LOL

wolfdreamer · #22 (**permalink**) 06-22-2008, 04:07 AM

The twang is all the same just some of us got deeper draws then others thats for sure. I crack up when people try to make their voices have a southern draw because to me I don't have one but they say I do.

pennylane · #23 (**permalink**) 06-24-2008, 02:27 PM

Wolfdreamer, i have a question. By bf talk many times about he's eatting turnip greens. I only know it's a veggie, he couldnt explain what it exactly is. Im really curious what kind of veggie it is?

asha · #24 (**permalink**) 06-24-2008, 06:01 PM

Penny you know the vegetable turnip right? Do you have those there? Anyway, the greens are just the leaves from the turnip bulb. You gotta boil them and pour off the water and then boil them again otherwise they taste kind of bitter. Its just a staple of southern cuisine and they eat it often.

pennylane · #25 (**permalink**) 06-24-2008, 06:11 PM

Yes, Asha that's what he is talking about many times. He tried to explain, but i still dont know what it is? I thought, it where some green beans, or.....actuallly i really don't know? How you describe it, it still sounds like i vegetable i don't know. Maybe it is a real southern veggie? My dad always grown vegetables, i don't know this one. Did you eat this one before?

asha · #26 (**permalink**) 06-24-2008, 06:17 PM

Yeah, I had some greens down in Louisiana. All kinds of greens, collard, mustard, turnip. They LOVE their greens! They season them up real nice also. Here is a photo of a turnip. Turnips grow under ground and you can boil them also or some people like them raw.

Image:Turnip.JPG - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

pennylane · #27 (**permalink**) 06-24-2008, 06:25 PM

Hey thanks for sharing. I still cant say i know this one. It looks a bit what we call here radijs (free translation must be sound like redish?????) We eat them raw. They grow under the mud, and above are green leaves. We dont eat the greens, but the picture looks like the vegetable i know.
Thanks for the info ;-)

wolfdreamer · #28 (**permalink**) 06-25-2008, 12:22 AM

APPLICATION TO BE A REDNECK

Name:_____________________________
Nickname:________________________________
CB Handle:______________________________
Address (RFD No.)_____________--_________________________
Daddy (if unknown, list 3 suspects):____________________________________
Mamma:___________________________________
Neck Shade:_________Light Red _________Medium Red __________Dark Red
Number of teeth exposed in full grin: Upper_______ Lower________
Name of Pickup owned:________________________
Height of Truck________________
Truck equipped with:
Gun Rack ______4-Wheel Drive ______Confederate Flag _______
Cassette Deck ______Load of Wood ______Hijacker Shocks _______Radar Detector ______
Mag Wheels ______Dual CB Antennas _______Spittoon ______Camper Top ______
Air Horns _______Mud Flaps ______Toothpick Holder ______Mug-Grip Tires _______
Racoon Hide ______Big Dog

Number of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of pickup:_________

BUMPER STICKERS:
Eat More Possum _____My other car is a piece of **** too _____Honk if you're horny _____
If you ain't a cowboy you ain't **** _____Redman Chewing Tobacco _____Wave if you're horny ___

Define the following (must be 90% correct):
1. Grits 6. Sawmill Gravy 11. Cobbler 16. Tater 2. Goobers 7. Turnip Salad 12. Fatback 17. Pig Skins ?. Pinto Beans 8. ****-on-a-Shingle 13. Tote 18. Okrie 4. Collards 9. Redeye Gravy 14. Chickin' Fry 19. Shonuf ?. Sidemeat 10.Soppin' Syrup 15. Poke 20. Chitlins

Favorite Vocalist:
Reba McEntire ____Conway Twitty ____Loretta Lynn ____Hank Williams Jr. ____Randy Travis ____Ray Wylie Hubbard ____Tammy Wynette ____Slim Whitman ____Porter Wagoner ____Willie Nelson ____George Jones ____Box Car Willie

Favorite Recreation
Square Dancin' ____Possum Huntin' ____Skinny Dippin' ____Craw Daddin' ____Gospel Singin'____
4-Wheelin' ____Drankin' ____Spittin' Backy ____Bill Chip Throwin' ____Honky Tonkin' ____
Noodlin' ____Other
Name of son(s):
Bubba _______Jim Bob _______LeeRoy ______J.D.
Name of Daughter(s):
PammySue ______Violet ______Paulette _____Daisy
Weapons owned: _____Deer Rifle _____Sawed-off Shotgun _____Varmit Rifle _____Log Cabin _____Tire Iron _____Power Chain Saw _____Pick Handle _____Hick'ry Switch
Number of Dogs:_____ Type:_____Blue Tick ______Black & Tan _______Beagle _______Bird Dawg >
Cap Emblem: _____John Deer _____McCullock Chain Saws _____Budweiser _____Vo-Tech _____Skoal _____Coors _____NAPA _____Smile If You're Not Wearing Underwear

Number of Dependants: _______Legal _______Claimed

Number of Weeks Unemployed:__________

Number of Welfare Checks Received:_________

Memberships:

NRA ___Moose ___PTL Club ___AA ___Bass Club ___VFW ___Quiltin' Bee ___American Legion ___ United Sons and Daughters of the Confederacy ___John Birch Society

Length of Right Leg:__________
Length of Left Leg:___________
Does your truck contain some part painted the official state color of Primer Red?Yes ___No___
How many cars do you have jacked up on blocks in your front yard?__________
How many kitchen appliances will you keep on your front porch?__________
Will you wear mostly double-knit polyester pants with snags?________
Do you own any shoes? _____Yes _____No If yes, how many?_________
What year did you last purchase shoes?_________
Are you married to any of the following: _______Sister _______Cousin ________Sow
Do you know her name? _____________
Does your wife weigh more than your pickup?_________
Can you sign your name and get the spelling right every time?___________
Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend?__________
If so, why?______________________________________________ _________________
Can you count: Past 10 with your shoes on?___________________ To 21 with your fly up?_________________
Do you know any words that have more than 4 letters?______________
Have you ever had more than one bath in a week?_______________
Medical Information:
Do you have at least two of the following:
BO ____Crabs ____Head Lice _____Rabies ____Trench Mouth _____Runny Nose _____Bad Breath ____Chafing

IF YOUR APPLICATION IS TURNED DOWN, YOU MAY BE STILL QUALIFY TO ATTEND AUBURN UNIVERSITY. THEIR STANDARDS ARE SLIGHTLY LOWER.

Ya'll Come Back Now, Ya hear?

wolfdreamer · #29 (**permalink**) 06-25-2008, 12:23 AM

Things a Redneck Would Never Say...

"I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
Duct tape won't fix that.
Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
We don't keep firearms in this house.
Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
You can't feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
Wrasslin's fake.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We're vegetarians.
Do you think my hair is too big?
I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
Who's Richard Petty?
Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
Deer heads detract from the decor.
Spitting is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
The tires on that truck are too big.
I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad.
I've got it all on a floppy disk.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
Would you like you fish poached or broiled?
My fiancée, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
Checkmate.
She's too old to be wearing a bikini.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college team.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
Elvis who?

wolfdreamer · #30 (**permalink**) 06-25-2008, 12:23 AM

Redneck Medical Terms

A pubic hair is a type of wild rabbit.
Asphalt describes rectal problems.
A condom is a large apartment.
Douche is the French word for "twelve.
Genitals are people of non-Jewish descent.
A diaphragm is a drawing in Geometry.
Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
An erection is when Japanese people vote.
A dildo is a variety of the sweet pickle.
An umbilical chord is part of a parachute.
Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
The clitoris is a type of flower.
Testacles are found on an octopus.
Kotex is a radio station in Cincinatti.
Masturbate is used to catch large fish.

Benign........What you be after you be eight.
Artery...... The study of paintings.
Bacteria.....Back door to cafeteria.
Barium........What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section....A neighborhood in Rome.
CATscan....................Searching for kitty.
Cauterize..................Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................... A sheep dog.
Coma...........................A punctuation mark.
D & C..........................Where Washington is.
Dilate......................... To live long.
Enema..........................Not a friend.
Fester.........................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula..........................A small lie.
Genital.........................Non-Jewish person.
G.I. Series..................World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail......................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent.....................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain...................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff............A Doctor's cane.
Morbid........................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates.......................Cheaper than day rates.
Node.............................I knew it.
Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis............................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative...........A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...........Place to do upholstery.
Rectum..........................Damn near killed him.
Secretion......................Hiding something.
Seizure..........................Roman emperor.
Tablet............................A small table.
Terminal Illness...........Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.............................More than one.
Urine..............................Opposite of you're out.
Varicose.........................Near by/close by.