Reading between the lines of job adverts.....

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY":
We have no time to train you. Good Luck!

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE":
We don't pay you enough to dress well. Start buying your clothing at K-mart.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED":
You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED":
Some time each night, and some time every weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY":
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL":
We have no quality control and no secretary.

"CAREER-MINDED":
Female Applicants must be childless, (and end up remaining that way).

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE":
We've filled the job; we are taking resumes as a legal formality, you will never hear from us.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE":
We lost three employees this week. You are responsible for taking over their jobs.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST":
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS":
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay and without the respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS":
Management communicates, you listen, don't talk, figure out what they want and do it.

"ADVANCEMENT OPPORTUNITIES":
The job sucks so bad, it can only get better.

"COLLEGE DEGREE REQUIRED":
You will be the highest qualified employee in years.

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be nice to the people on your way up,because you will meet them again on your way down