The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General.

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.

> The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

> The North has switchblade knives; the South has Lee Press-on Nails.

> The North has double last names; the South has double first names.

> The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races.


> North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.

> The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.

> The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish.

> The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt.

> FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . ..


> In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store...Do Not buy food at this store.

> Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

> Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

> Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

> Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect

> this way. All of them are in denial about it.

> The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

> Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.

> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

> If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

> Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, They are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

> In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

> AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.

__________________
A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.
~ Leo Buscaglia

> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

This one cracked me up. A funny list, but I'm glad to be from California... Dude!

__________________
"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." —Helen Keller

[quote=dragonfly;925964]

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.

WHAT?? Y'all don't have Waffle Houses in the North?? For real? Wow. That would suck.



> The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

Hey Hey HEY ! be nice. My family tree does have branches. You must be talking about people from West By God Virginia.



> North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.

Grits....Mmmm. Grits. Don't forget funel cake !



> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store...Do Not buy food at this store.

Just so you know. The general rule in the South is that if it looks like the last place in the world you would want to eat... Then they have the best food.



> Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive

Actaully ... "all y all" is what yankees say when they are trying to speak Southerniese. The rest is correct. But lets not forget the other phrases we have made famous: You better believe it, Per tin ner, it's the onlisest one, having a cut-up? , see ya ta rect ly, Cucu Boba, Bring back my hammer, Tee Ta me Yaa ya... ( oops sorry , that is an island phrase ) , kitty grey, Hey Bubba,




> Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.

I love the Southern Justice system. It is much more efficent. As Charlie Daniles said " Take them rascals out to the swamp. Put them on thier knees and tie them to a stump. Let the rattler, bugs, and gators to the rest."

Oh.. Let me add one to your list... Only a Southener would qoute Charlie Danials.



> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

Wow. It is like you have a crystal ball and are watching my life. I can not tell you how many times I have heard that phrase and something extremlly funny happened afterwords.




> In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway

Or we use stones and make a decrotive lawn with different color stones.


That was great ! Thanks for the laugh.

Oooh love this one! But you forgot to mention the fourth question after your name and where you work and who your family are which is: "Where do you worship?"

If you say Nascar you are in with everyone, well mostly

Hi Dragonfly, good to see you around here again, and love your thread

Hey being a yank and now in the south, I have learned a few things.

Teeth are an optional here for one !!!

Sports are different too,

Commentator (Male)

Up North: "Nice Play"

Down South its: "dam..., you slow sumbit.., tackle him and break his frick... legs !!!

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Thanks for all the interesting information, I guess this is all we
need to about America for those of us who live outside of your
Country.