Mother's Dictionary

•AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to make love again.
•DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
•FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance Apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
•FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
•FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
•GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even Though they're sure you're not raising them right.
•HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
•IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labour is still vivid.
•INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
•OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
•PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry Shoes into it.
•SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
•STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
•TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pyjamas.
•TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
•VERBAL: able to whine in words
•WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house

__________________
They say NOBODY is perfect so just call me NOBODY