Letters to inmates mean a whole lot. I have been writing to a male inmate for 10 years, since October 2000. We've never met. I've also written to many other inmates. Inmates enjoy receiving mail. Most don't get any mail at all. So for an inmate to get a letter from a stranger means the whole world. Almost like they have a new friend. All, in my years of writing, inmates will write back to their pen-pal. (Also depends on what you write and how yuo say certain things.) They appreciate you more cuz you wrote a letter. If he don't write back, choose a new inmate to be your pen-pal. And maybe you told this guy how you feel, that you believe prisoners deserve long, lengthy sentences. And that would be a reason he woudn't write to you. An inmate doesn't want to hear that, especially if he has a long sentence. He'll believe that you are writing to him out of pity and that you know he deserves the sentence. Sorry if it made you feel bad, but I put myself in their shoes and picture myself reading those words. Try to be open-minded and have compassion for these inmates. Who are we to judge, God is the only one to judge. Even God forgives murderers. If they repent. ...Christian all the way...

OK, so I actually came across this, my original post. It was the same day I wrote to my pp. And I here I sit, one week after my first visit to him.

All that goes through my head is how much I have learned and how far I have come. The naivtee in this post makes me laugh, and a little embarrassed now!

__________________
"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."
~Lord John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton

When I started writing inmates in 1984 it was to not be so isolated and give back to gay community where I got sober. I have learned that my honest detailed writing is not for everyone and those 40 people that have called me a freind over the years has well been worth all the trouble from others. I am a lot less naive than I was when I started! Writing is an adventure, enjoy it by making someone's day at "mail call'!!

Numbercruncher,

We both started this journey at around the same time. I read your original post and thought, "That is me." And, I just read your follow up and thought, "That is me." This has truly been an enlightening experience for me. I'm not sure what got me to this site except boredom and curiosity. But, I've made some great friends.

I haven't met anyone, though. I once ruled it out completely. Now, I'd probably give it consideration.

I'm starting a tour in Iraq. And, it's amazing at the outpouring of respect and appreciation that my penpals have given me. They have also been insightful to coping with the distance away from my family.

I certainly have a new outlook on people... At one time they were just prisoners paying a debt to society. Now, I realize they are people just like me with the same hopes and fears. I'm glad that I gave someone a chance. And, most important... I'm glad they gave me a chance.

If Numbercruncher is still around, I'd be interested to know how her interaction has impacted her. You mentioned you visited your pen-pal and that you learned a lot. It would be really nice to see what you think these days.

Not a former prisoner, just a compassionate person who understands how hard life could be.

Well, that's a thought provoking question for sure! What have I learned from him and my experience of being friends with him? I don't think any of us probably know what it's like to have the entire world judge us based on our one single worst act(s). So, the world judges him based on that, but I refuse to. I have learned what friendship is at the very heart of it. Without going to dinner, getting coffee, going shopping, going dancing...just a true, real and honest friendship. I have learned that there are people who, everyday, have to read every person they come into contact with every day, as their safety and life could depend on it. I have learned what an amazing feeling it is to have the total trust of someone who trusts noone. I have learned more about patience (prisons move so slow, especially in a maximum security facility). I know in turn he has learned a lot from me as well. Our friendship is truly a two way street. Since writing to him, I find that I am more compassionate towards people I may otherwise have "judged". I have learned to, moreso, "stop and smell the roses". I haven't taken time off work for myself in years. But, I finally did, I took a week off, and visited him, and it was such a wonderful decision and experience. Through my friendship with him, I beleive that I have become a better person, a better friend and isn't that what friendship is about?

__________________
"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."
~Lord John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton

Well just a note, you were asking why other than looking for love would someone write a prisoner. I'm currently deployed to Iraq and I know the importance of letters to moral. It's just something to look forward to.
The pen-pals I wrote in prison were all females of course, I'm not queer, and all weren't major criminals. I mean everyone was young and stupid at one time, just some people get caught.