Many times I am asked to help someone who wants to write to a person incarcerated in our country’s Prison System (referred to as being in lock up). I had never been one for writing, so perhaps some history is in order if the reader is to understand why so many people come to me seeking guidance on corresponding with prisoners.

A friend of our family had been picked up on some outstanding warrants and called me to let me know what was up. About a week later the phone rang and picking up the receiver I heard a voice through the static saying it was a collect call. Assuming it was my friend who had been picked up on the warrants I accepted the charges. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be someone else asking me to do them a favor, a favor that was to change my life, and was the start of my own personal journey of writing to prisoners and helping those on the outside when and where I can.

The man on the phone was a friend of my husbands from work, and his voice filled with emotion he said, “Lulu, can you help my wife?” A simple favor, and being who I was I said I would do whatever I could to help. The connection went dead, but he called back, and though the conversation was awkward and stilted, it was the beginning of a journey that has changed my life as agreeing to that one favor would lead me down a path of writing to prisoners behind bars and helping more and more people on both sides of the bars as time went on.

Jay (the person on the phone) ended up having to do time in a Texas State Penitentiary on a parole violation, and being limited to a 5 minute phone call every 90 days, he and I stayed in touch by mail correspondence. One day when I went out to get the mail I found a letter from Jay, and he wanted to know if I could help out a friend of his in prison by writing him a letter. Of course I said yes, and so found myself now corresponding with another inmate by the name of Brian who had already spent some 12 years in lock up. My circle of prison friendships and help had widened, and as time unfolded, it would grow beyond my wildest imagination.

I am pleased to know that Brian has been released from prison, and is doing very well for himself. Upon his release he set some very realistic goals and this October 3rd he will have been out of prison and on his own for two years. He has managed to save some money, now has his own apartment, will soon be buying a home, and is building a wonderful life for himself. I feel a since of accomplishment in perhaps helping him on his way, and am so proud of his accomplishments both while in prison, and since his release.

The year before Brian was released he’d written me asking if I could help out a friend of his in prison by corresponding with him, and so again my circle had grown. Brian’s friend asked me to write his friend, and so forth and so on as my chain of prison pen-pals and friends grew…it became in a way my ministry, my own way to help those in need, and maybe make the world a more beautiful place. As my list of pen pals behind bars grew, so too did my knowledge of the prison system.

This knowledge of the system came with a certain pain, a certain hurt to my heart as I heard about some of the unjust, unfair and simply mean things that went on behind those four gray walls. I grew to know and understand the pain of those behind prison walls, began to grasp that total sense of abandonment felt by so many who had no external network of support, no family they could call their own, and wept for them as I saw into their souls and viewed their own sense of being totally and completely alone. I come from a loving, caring and supportive home, and could not understand how families, friends and loved ones could simply abandon these men and women behind bars for making a mistake. I asked myself where the compassion was, continued writing those behind bars, and watched as my list still continued to grow, and with it, my knowledge base of just how the prison system in America functioned.

Over the years, what started out as a simple favor is now a life calling. I write to many prisoners, help families with members in prison cope, and encourage people on the outside to get involved by writing a prisoner, taking the time to give those inside a glimpse of the world they had to leave behind, and in doing so, give that person on the inside a hope, a glimmer of sunshine to carry him or her though those dark nights when giving up is such a tempting thing to do.

If you or someone you know wants to write a prisoner, I would offer a few simple guidelines to keep in mind. First, I would recommend you not use your home address, but instead get a post office box. Once you have written a prisoner and received a response, go with your gut instincts. Most times our guts let us know the true heart behind the words scribbled on a page. However, even if you sense this person is honest, be on your guard for awhile, as there is the occasional person on the inside who is bent on being untrue, determined if you will to run a scam.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and believe there is good in all people, but the reality of life is, there is the occasional con that gets played, and I myself have been taken in once myself. If your gut tells you something is out of whack, or you feel someone is trying to charm you into doing something that makes you uncomfortable (such as asking you to send money), simply ignore that letter (prisoner) and move on to the next until you find a match that feels good for you. This is not to say every request for money is a con, but be careful, and again let your conscience be your guide. If someone is conning you, it is not going to get better, but instead will simply get worse as time goes on, so it is best to cut your loses early rather than find yourself getting hurt more later on.

Writing those incarcerated has been a blessing in my life, and I am so very thankful for that fateful day when the phone rang. If you or someone you know is thinking of writing a prisoners, or if you are someone who has a loved one or a family member in prison and have been thinking of writing them, I encourage you to take pen and hand. Your simple act of writing them a note will mean so much to them, and could be that touch with reality, that glimpse of the outside world that helps them to carry on, encourages them to hold hope close to their hearts, gives them the strength to do their time one day at a time while planning for the day when they once again are free.

Copyright © Prisoner Activists

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THat is such a wonderful story with great advice. Thanks for sharing it.

more then welcome

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