I haven't posted in quite some time, but recently some things have happened that I would like to be able to share & vent. It has been a very enlightening experience & a very definite reality check for me.

(As some of you already know) My husband just left for Colombia South America for a mission. He wanted to go to visit his relatives in OK before he left for this mission.

During our visit, we went to the lake where the grandkids killed their grandfather. My husband's aunt was there & she needed to talk about the murder.

Also, during that visit we visited his cousin, the parents of the kids who murdered the grandfather. There is a definite history between the uncle/dad, cousin/mother, & the kids.

This was my husband's favorite uncle & aunt. He loves his cousins. His aunt told us about her kids from birth thru growing up. She is wrenched by this & town between love & loyalty. There is a lot of pain in both the families which extended to the rest of the family.

As I've stated before on WAP (about a year ago), LEON, 20, got LWOP in McAlester & RAQUEL, 17, got a couple of years in a training school/program to get her life back together.

I've been writing both of them, but I really do have a hard time writing LEON because of some of the things that have happened. I don't see any remorse or regret that he murdered his grandfather.

However, in writing RAQUEL, she seems to have had a heart-wrenching traumatic experience with all that's happening. There is definitely a difference in the letters between the two.

I've had to step back & take a hard look at the reality of writing inmates. I love them dearly, but sometimes we don't KNOW them for who they really are. Oh, I still write them & will continue to write them, but have learned that when I have to go on a trip or have something traumatic happen to me in my life, that is a very telling time in who wants to continue to write you & not just want something from you.

The numbers of my PPPs have dropped considerably, but have ones who have been with me throughout the long haul. I truly consider them as my friends.

Overall, writing inmates has been a positive experience for me. I've received more from them than I could ever give them... in form of support, gifts, etc.

All I ask of you is that you research your PPP & hope that you have as good an experience with writing them as I have. Don't take PPPs at face value. They are where they are for a reason. Sometimes we lose sight of that fact!

GOD bless. ncl

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Thank you & God bless <><n

Yea,I agree with some of the things you said here....Sometimes it is hard to remember that most of them are in prison because they need to be there. However, I have had one penpal who i feel really should not have been there to begin with...he just got mixed up with the wrong crowd and trying to please his negative friends to be accepted. Now he is out of prison and last I heard he was doing well. I wish only the best for him because he is truly a smart man, just got caught up in the wrong crowd of friends.

Most people that are in prison deserve to be there? Try 99.9%. And how do you please the negative crowd? Something just doesnt seen right with your post. I have written to 9 different people that are in prison, and they all say that they deserve to be there. They are there because they broke the law, it doesnt matter if friends or family were involved with the crime. They know that what they are doing is wrong, so its time to stop making excuses. Of the 9 that I have written to, there have only been 4 that werent out for themselves. The other 5 were only looking for money or other forms of help. And most will try not to go back in, just depends if they make any corrections while on the inside and after they are released.