Im glad my pp is so honest with me.BUT it kinda hurt today when he told me all about the girl that visits him at least 2x a wk and he hopes to spend his life with.I dont know why because i stressed on how important it was that he was just a friend.I was honest with him and he was honest with me.He told me today in a letter that writing and visiting are even better then letters and pictures together.I will never stop writing him ,Im happy for him and i am going to take his advice.The reason i was writing him was because he had 20 years and i wanted a long term friend.I STILL HAVE THAT with him and i wont lose it.But the way he listened and made me feel in each letter,im not going to lie, i was starting to like him more in a "special" way with every letter that came in.He is the 1st man i have talked to in 2 years sense me starting my divorce.Anyway today was just a off day for me and im going to write him tonight and let him know..Im ok with it and im glad he was so honest.I hope he will always love me as a friend..But everything comes out in due time and im going to wait around to learn all i can about him.He is my bestfriend.I cant wait till 2mrow to start writing local ads and see if anyone responds.I want to find someone in with a lot of "TIME" on there hands to write and get to know me as he did and continues to.Well thats all i have to say today.Its just been one of them days.......

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Birdie birdie in the sky
Why do you do that in my eye
I will not laugh I will not cry
I’m just glad that cows don’t fly

Sorry to hear it has been one of those days, not easy to hear when your feelings were starting to go toward him in a special way.
Your very lucky he is honest with you, over time if he had not said anything it could have become more devastating, I find that he is a special friend to be so honest, even if seems brutally honest at this time. The truth hurts but, not a bad as being over time totally decieved can be.

I am sure he will always love you as a friend, he has proved that with his honesty to you, I would also find other pp's, so you can find many inside who would love a friend like you must be, that many need inside,

Hope even though a bit hurt, you see the good thing he is doing for you to not hurt you" if that makes sense? Takes a special friend to do that, and must be a really good guy too.

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Yes...He meens that much more to me to be so honest.He even said he told his friends about me and if i ever wanted to come down for a visit(i have friends in that state) i can stay with her and she would bring me to see him.I found that a bit odd,I dont think i will be going all out like that.But again i am glad to see he does talk about me to people, it makes me feel that much more special as a friend.He gave me is g/f's myspace name but im not even going to check it to see what she looks like.I actually took a sharpie and scratched that part out in his letter.I kinda just dont feel rite being that close to someones*man*.Who knows maybe 1 day i will go up there and visit....but,no time soon.

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Birdie birdie in the sky
Why do you do that in my eye
I will not laugh I will not cry
I’m just glad that cows don’t fly

Jen- I think you're lucky. You have a good pal who is not lying to you or playing you. It sounds like you have a great friend. I'm sorry that you got hurt and I'm sure it is a hard thing to hear. I don't think it's wrong for you to not be ready to go visit and stay at his girlfriend's house. If I were you, before you put yourself in that situation, be sure you know that you can accept that he and she are together and make sure you don't have feelings for him that will get in the way. I'll bet you'll get there eventually. And meanwhile, stay friends with him and who knows what might happen? I'm sorry you're hurt and it is understandable but I still think it sounds like you found a good one.

Hes a GREAT friend i would never deny him or lose our bond as friends.As far as him being so honest, im over it now and IM SO HAPPY HE TOLD ME!Im going to write a few local inmates and see where it goes.I have to find someone with at least 5 years or more.I want someone that i can connect with and spend years getting to know and go see as much as possible.Im new to the whole single life and talking to men.Im a shy one ,that went through so much abuse with my xhusband,I want the next person to know me fully,respect and know everything about me before i can give myself to them.I want the honesty of a friend and love of a true lover.Dont know if that makes sense.I want my bestfriend and now i am going to find more friends and years to come maybe more with one.Who knows what the future holds....

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Birdie birdie in the sky
Why do you do that in my eye
I will not laugh I will not cry
I’m just glad that cows don’t fly

I am sorry that you are going through this.

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Life throws curve balls, get battin and stay strong! Momof6

I presume this is your first pp? I have made those connections, and they were not honest, until just before they were out. Then it was forgot to tell you I can not visit as I have 5 years probation to do here, or worse, my wife will not allow me to write gay men. Honesty hurts sometimes, and then I have a re-evaluate for what purpose I write. I am sorry for your pain, I believe, in my mind you would be better to move on. When people put a lot of energy into letters, and the results get less and less; just seems unfair to both parties to extend it as a chore. I enjoy writing! I was sad when a large percentage of those I found on the gay list (OCT 07) did not even bother to reply. Percentage was still better than printed subscription lists. I keep looking. Good luck in what ever you choose.

This is kind of awkward. Im trying to think how I would feel put in jen's place. I have a male pen pal I write with never anything other than friendship on my mind BUT thats also knowing that he doesnt have any other women who are visiting with him and he is obviously in a relationship with like in this situation. I mean he's never come out with that information anyway. Would it bother me? I dont think so but what might cause concern is the possible deception and if I was being kept secret from her. It just seems like people's feelings could get hurt if this is not handled carefully.

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"Thats it then, they will go on double, secret, probation..."

Ok seriously, my "pp" is my fiance, we are getting married as soon as we can get things lined up to do so. If he were hiding that he is writing someone from me, I would be mad, because he was hiding it.

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Life throws curve balls, get battin and stay strong! Momof6

Must be just me, he is not hurting Jen, he is showing he is a spec friend to her, he must respect her and like her, to be up front and not decieve or lead her on.

As far as the one he wants to spend his life with, if" she knows, and she is ok with him having pps friends, that is great.
If" she does not know, he sure is not decieving her either, due to his being up front with Jen, about her and how he feels towards her, the one he wants to spend his life with, that also visits him regularly.


Momof5, you seem a bit in doubt that maybe" she is talking about your spec pp, I know it is not, I do not know his name" "your spec pp's" name but, have seen on WAP where you placed in a thread pic's of both of you , so you can have peace and sleep good tonight ,,,,

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