Hi Everyone

I have been conterplanting wheather to put this on the forum its an ultimatium given to me by my PP....even though I have sort of made up my mind, I wanted to hear your comment or what you think about it.

Ok here it goes I have been in correspondent with my PP for few months now not from this site. On one of our mails i mention that i called the COPs during an argument he than replied and told me to be with him I am never to mention COP for Quote "Before you reach P i will be gone" I than said jokingly well Quote "Dont make me go to C" ...I know but really I took it as a joke more like a Rythme but he went ballistic a 6 page letter telling me off calling me names and to remember i need to be discipline and submissive.....than the ultimatium was given either I reply with proper response in agreement to want he want if not than its finito.

Also i did send him Questionaires that was on one of the thread out of good intentions. I was called MANIPULATIVE FOR THAT. I find this really sad i did it with good intentions since his been in the "hole" but all thrown back. Appreciate suggestions at this point i havent answered his mail.

Thanks in advance

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windygirl

Windygirl,

I'm usually pretty mild when it comes to dealing with pp's and I'm all for closure and everything. But you were given an ultimatum: you either respond to him that you'll do what he says (be submissive) or else the friendship is over? Well, I would seriously wonder if I would even bother to write something back... And if I responded to this letter, I would make it short - not nasty, but that this kind of communication is not acceptable to you and that you wish him all the best.

His behaviour is absolutely out of order, I personally would not reply to him at all ( how's that for submissive lol) but I think you need to explain to him in a final letter that you will not be writing anymore and why.

There are so many PPs more deserving of your letters and time.

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The longest journey begins with one small step!!!

I wouldn't take that kind of verbal abuse from ANYONE, least of all someone that I was taking time out of my day, to do something nice for. Write him a brief letter, informing him that you do not wish to correspond with him anymore, because he has failed to show you the respect that you deserve. Wish him all the best, and then find yourself a NEW pen pal, who will appreciate your efforts on their behalf and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. With the same kindness and respect that you show him/her.

Sadly, I am sure that there will be NO shortage of women out there, who will allow themselves to be treated in such a manner. That is my two cents anyway(smiles). Let us know what you decide to do. Good luck!

Lisa

Windy, you know your friend better than we do, and you know ALL the conversations that lead to his response and letter to you.
We can all sit back in judgment and come down on him, not knowing the full story, or his mental state, so it is easy to jump to the wrong conclusions.
For me personally after many months of correspondence i think it would take more than one letter to end a good friendship. Have you never lashed out at someone in a moment of anger and then regret all that you have said?

Recently i had a misunderstanding with a pp of mine, i actually asked my other pal for advice. He said not to worry that it would be hard for me to understand him as it was a prison thing, but not to be be surprised if i had an apology in the mail within the next few days. Well guess what? he was right. The very next day this person was saying how sincerely sorry he was, and went on to explain what had caused him to say the things he said. Long story short, he was just hurt and feeling many emotions.

That is not to say all people treat others with the respect they deserve, it's just to say sometimes there is another side. I would give him a chance if this is the first time he has treated you in this way, and explain the rules real clear and what you expect. But that's just me. (smiles)

Hey Windy....
Im in two minds here I guess cos as Smiley says only You know your pp & what your relationship is, where hes coming from etc etc
Having said that I personally dont accept ultimatums on any day of the week
I was given one buy a guy today
"Either you stop writing guys in prison or our friendship/relationship is over"
That was easy "No worries mate ...c'ya later"
As for a man telling me I need to be disciplined and submissive ?
Ummm ? that'd be NAH !

You do know more about him and how this came up then we do,,,,

Going by what we know his words used here,,,,on the questionaire thing ,,,off here,,, I know of one inmates attitute "not Jons" never got one while in from me,,, but,,,this inmate felt it was just bidding time in letters and not really any conversation leading to getting to know him slowly as subjects that come up,,,that of course is one individuals answer to that one,,,

Seems what kicked up the anger was you mentioned calling the cops for something,,,many inside have a bad attitute toward "cops" etc,,, maybe he can in next letter tell you how he feels about them and authority,,, with obvious reasons many hate,,,, even though they did a crime ,, officers ,,,some CO's, staff leave a mental anger toward,, and attitute,,,,when the subject comes up,, some felt and were treated unfairly ,,,and were....
so hate the system period,,,,,

The words though that you need to be more disciplined and "submissive,,,, really bothers me ,,, and I would ask for the explaination there what the hell,,,, does he mean by that ,,,, I know how it sounds,,, sounds to me,, just the words he is dangerous,,,, still,,,, and no man inside or out would I trust or have anything to do with,,, I would be out,, in a Heart Beat,,,,,,, scary,,,, meaning to me I can do anything and dont darn call the cops ,,, I can beat you and you just take it,,, or kill you if I want ,,,,,,, he better have some good reason ,,,not just venting toward authority or bye bye sweetheart,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,my opinion,,,,, I do believe first in always clarifying where one is coming from for sure first,,,,,since it is thru letters only,,,if in person ,,,,, not so,,,,,,,,,,,,seems you deserve a better pp,,, and there are many inside whom are,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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I have to agree with Peanut. Him telling you you need to be disciplined and submissive is another way of saying "put up or shut up".

I think his words are scary and I wouldn't write to him any more.

Would be interested to hear Max's take on this, as he's been inside and has probably encountered guys like this before....

Ultimatium !!!!!!

Well I would have to reply with my own....lol

Gone are the days that I allowed anybody (especially a man) disrespect me.

I would have to reply with a very short, to the point letter telling him that you deserve more rerpect than he is prepared to give and that you gave away the chain's , blindfolds and whips years ago and not interested in replacing them just now

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Hi Guys thanks for all your comments and yes I have been in email contact with Maxs about this Yes Smiley and Peanutz what i didnt mention was that is black muslim (hope I didnt offend anyone well African American Muslim) But from the word go I told him I am a christian and dont agree with some of their teaching in regards to womens role in Society in general. For I do support myself taken trips vacation with my boys etc...and did it all on my own. HE WAS FINE WITH THAT. I can understand the COP issue but he kind of went way out of control, may be he was having a bad day. (am I making excuses for him??)


But when i read the ultimatium part where i need to exact words Qoute: I WILL ESTABLISH MYSELF AS THE STRONGER POWER AND for me to lay down the feminist attitude. ......oh well I have given myself 2weeks than answer his letter at the moment i am so angry how dare he!!! just a short one wont be nasty to end it. All the time wasted in writting dont think i want to write another one at this stage. But thank you guys for all your comments will keep you update on what happening.

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windygirl