Stuff It!

I've got a magic formula
on this you have my word
for a delicious tasting Thanksgiving
and a perfectly cooked bird

There won't be any kitchen mess
no dirty pans and pots
no lumpy mashed potatoes
and everything nice and hot

All you're required to do is eat
and enjoy the day with ease
it only takes three magic words
"Waiter, menu please."

__________________
They say NOBODY is perfect so just call me NOBODY

The Drawer Enigma

I'm calling Nasa up today
and that UFO show "Sightings"
there's something in my bureau drawers
that really is quite frightening
though I can not see it living there
and don't know where it goes
I know whenever I shut the drawer
It shrinks up all my clothes!

My bathing suits for instance
fit me fine last June
but now they stretch like sausage skins
giving me too little room

and all my shorts and summer shirts
that I'm sure last year fit
now struggle at every seam and stitch
just trying not to split

This paranormal anomaly
needs some investigation
like the mystery of Stonehenge
and the Mayan civilization

Perhaps the bureau is a wormhole
to a slightly smaller time
and the John who lives on that side
got his pants confused with mine

So I'm calling up some scientists
to solve this mystery for mankind’s sake
I'm going to make the phone call
after I eat this cake

unknown

__________________
They say NOBODY is perfect so just call me NOBODY

If At First.......

The Dung Beetle met the button
on it’s way to see a turd
He gave the button a big "hello"
who did not return the word

Said the Dung Beetle to the button
"your shell’s so round and hard
won’t you please accompany me,
to the poo palace across the yard?"

to the dismay of the bold dung beetle
who had used his finest flirting
the button still gave no response
which left the beetle hurting

and off he crawled, his antennas low
toward the heaping pile of steam
unbeknownst to the simple fact
rejection isn’t always what it seems

unknown

__________________
They say NOBODY is perfect so just call me NOBODY