Hey all, i had a question. I've been thinking lately about possibly writing to a inmate that's on death row. I've been going and forth on this issue and i'm still confused!I'm sure they of all people need someone to write to the most since their existence is so limited but i am worried about becoming emotionally invested in a great pal then possibly losing them. Also to be honest (please don't beat me up for this!) i used to be a FIRM believer in the death penalty, most of these people belong on DR for the crimes they have committed. But since i've been writing to different PP over the years i have come to realize they are human and make mistakes just like you and I. Once you get to know the person behind the conviction most of the time you find a entirely different person then you thought you would. I guess writing to PP made me open up my mind more then i ever thought i would. I never thought in a millons years i would consider writing to w DR inmate. But it scares me to be honest. I was looking for advice from people who have PP on death row. i'd like to know some of your experiences in writing these people.I think some positive reinforcement will make my mind easier to make up :-) Thanks.

I am replying on behlaf of my friend who writes a young man on DR. you can never prepare for the ultimate outcome and it will be emotionally draining if and when they get sent ot death....but take a chance in lie. She thoroughly enjoys her correspondance with him and they share some great times. We all have good and bad times in life so share your good times and make someone smile on DR and I am sure in return like my friend you will get so much back from the experience

you could make someone's exsistance alot brighter be opened minded caring compassionate but careful but most of all be a friend everyone regardless needs that. I say go for it.

Hi Blondee,

There is an excellent book , written by a Death Row chaplain, that is a quick and enligtening view of death row. It's called "Inside THese Walls", by Rev. Carrol Pickett. He writes and makes you feel like you are right there at Huntsville, Texas. You may be able to get it at your library, or through an interlibrary loan. It sounds like you are feeling a bit better. Are you?

I hope so, Blondee. What a terrible thing happened to you. There are quite a few here who write to DR inmates. Skye, I know did, and her PP, is supposed to be coming off DR, because he was a juvenile at the time of his crime. Good luck with your decision. I'm sure you'll get some good feedback from them. I guarantee after reading this book, you will see this in a whole different light.

Take care, Blondee! Good luck with your decision, and everything else. You are a kind person!

Diane

I've written to DR inmates for many years yes I've lost way too many of them to execution but I have never regretted offering my friendship to them. It is a responsibility but compassion carries a person through even the most difficult of situations. My advice to you would be YES write to someone on DR (smile)

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They say NOBODY is perfect so just call me NOBODY

I have been writing to somebody on death row for close to a year now, and was one of the best things I have done, i felt it helped me in many ways, not only him. I've become more aware of things around me, I appreciate things more. He gives me alot of strength through his letters.
There is always that "attachment" but Im so glad I took a chance.
I hope this helps some Blondee, and I hope the DR pal you choose is as wonderful as mine

I debated for over a month before writing my death row pal. I would log online, and each and every day I would be drawn in to look at his ad. I even have the ad memorized at this point.

I knew in my heart it would be difficult to write someone on Death Row. I knew that they had basically done the worst crime possible to end up on death row, or that is how I saw it at the time, and I was not quite sure how it would be to make a friendship with someone who, at any time, could be given an execution date.

I debated this over and over in my mind. One day, I sat down and wrote my first letter over and over. I must have started the letter a few dozen times, I finally finished it and off in the post it went.

It took him a while to answer. He would later explain to me why, but none the less it took him 2 weeks to respond.

Once he responded, I was glad I wrote him. I told him this was my first time writing to someone on death row. He responded to that with, “Let me be the first to assure you that not everyone on death row is a cold, heartless animal. There are some of us here who simply made very bad choices in life.”

By our 3rd month of writing I was added to his visitors list and at Christmas I visited for the first time. I met a lot of other inmates there who were just as nice. Of course they joked with one another a lot during the visit, which amazed me, how could someone who is caged almost 24 hours a day still have it in them to be, of all things, funny? I was amazed at how much some of the guys I met had changed, for the better, since their incarceration.

We had talked in the visitation about him being executed. I shared my concerns and he shared his. He asked me not to be sad for him shall that day ever come and to remember him for the person I knew him as, not for what he did in the past.

We would later be blessed with the Supreme Courts decision on the execution of juvenile offenders. It was like a sigh of relief for the both of us. Although this is a great thing, it does mean we have a long road ahead of us.

I won’t lie, I saw inmates there in Texas on my last visit who simply scared the hell out of me. It is true that they all are not angels. Just as there are some who never change, there are some who do. I was once told by writing someone who is caged 23/7 bring them life into a lifeless place, I can assure you that is true for almost any inmate whether on DR, Ad Seg, or even the general population.

We learned that through our hopes and prayers that miracles can happen. Hopes and dreams keep a lot of these inmates going. Sometimes they need someone, a pal or friend to share those hopes and dreams with. I am glad I shared them with my pal, because of a miracle he may have a chance to live out some of what he had dreamed of.

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William Jennings Bryan

I just finished reading " Within These Walls." A very good book!

I too write to a DR inmate. I try to keep my conversations like I would talking to anyone else and never mention the fact unless it is brought up by the inmate. It is a very tough situation I am sure when the date is actually announced but I have not crossed that bridge through experience with a pal. I just try to treat our friendship like I would any other as we all will die at some point and sometimes it can be a friend in the free world without any notice or sickness. I take it day by day, week by week and will deal with the emotions when and if the time comes. Even though they made a mistake, some terrible, they are still human and deserve friendship like everyone else. I hope you all will agree.

I too write to a DR inmate. I try to keep my conversations like I would talking to anyone else and never mention the fact unless it is brought up by the inmate. It is a very tough situation I am sure when the date is actually announced but I have not crossed that bridge through experience with a pal. I just try to treat our friendship like I would any other as we all will die at some point and sometimes it can be a friend in the free world without any notice or sickness. I take it day by day, week by week and will deal with the emotions when and if the time comes. Even though they made a mistake, some terrible, they are still human and deserve friendship like everyone else. I hope you all will agree.