Human Nature

I am remembering and have a desire to share with you, a beautiful story told to me by a young lady. It was the end of the World War II and her dad was returning home. He came from a very close network of Italian families that lived near each other in New Jersey. He had a ride back from where his ship had docked. Of course he was filled with emotion as he came closer and closer to home. Suddenly, about five miles from home, he asked to be dropped off. He had decided to walk the last few miles himself and give himself time to emotionally "arrive". He wanted to savor every moment of coming home! This was a time to feel the essence of the town he came from, to savor pleasant memories of growing up as he walked and to allow his anticipation to build even further. Every step took him closer to friends and loved ones! He looked at every tree. He enjoyed every house he passed. He didn't even feel the weight of his duffel bag flung over his shoulder. He took his time walking. His parents knew that he was coming home soon, but they didn't know exactly when. Thank G-d he was alive! That knowledge was enough to sustain them. Meanwhile, as he walked several people recognized him. Some called out "hello" and several ran up to him and hugged him. He was offered rides, but refused. However, behind closed doors the magic began. As he passed by these people, the news was quickly transmitted on the telephone that he was coming! Joe's son was home from the war. Pass the word. And they did. By the time he got down to his street the street was filled with friends and family waiting for him. Would you believe several hundred? People shouted and clapped. He was hugged and kissed. His bag was taken from him. Everyone wanted to be near him. "Make room for Joe and Rosie! For goodness sake, let them get near their own son!" He literally had to work his way through the crowd of neighbors and other relatives to fall into the arms of his mom and dad. How good it felt to be held again by the two people who loved him so much! And where was that pretty young woman that he meant to look up now that he was home? Oh, well, that would have to wait at least one more day. The rest of today was filled with fresh Italian foods, wine, hugs, stories and a place to come home too. What a beautiful story. We all need a place to come home to--a place to be loved, to feel connected and with purpose. In The Enchanted Self I teach about belonging to tribes and how important it is. I even feel the energy of the tribe that this young man belonged to and I wasn't there. The positive energy was so strong that it not only filled his granddaughter--and could still be transmitted to me--and I hope to you. He needed his tribe and his tribe needed him. He needed his time to re-enter. The energies connecting him and his tribe were so strong that he could not just be dropped off. He had to re-enter slowly at first and prepared himself for the intensity of connection. His tribe likewise prepared itself by a wonderful signal system--smoke coming up in puffs on the desert. The system worked so well that by the time he arrived a celebration was already up and running. Tribes are our gift to ourselves. They offer us a gateway so we can come back again and again. They offer us a signal system so that the important things are transmitted in a timely fashion, and they offer us the welcoming arms that help us belong, feel appreciated and have a place. May each of us have the gift of the right tribes in our lives.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

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Inspiration

Recently, I was driving in my car and suddenly on Public Radio a wonderful interview came up. A journalist was interviewing a man who calls himself The Gabbie Cabbie. This is his story as I remember it: Mr. Franklin is a cab driver in New York City. As a result of some magic in his life and his own inspiration, he started a corporation called Gabbie Cabbie, Inc. He decided that no one in the world was better suited to tell you about New York City than a cab driver who drives it all day. He looked at himself in the mirror of life and decided that he was the one! So, he and his wife took some time and they approached every radio station in the world, which meant over 40,000. The ball started rolling and before he knew it, he was being called for interviews. Since he started talking about living in New York, he has had over 40,000 appearances on the radio. He has been interviewed around the world, both on the radio and on audio on the web. At first, he was self-conscious. He talked about events that had happened in the city and the people who came into his cab, but not about himself. He was almost a little afraid to be personal- even had fantasies that he would be stalked. However, over the years he realized that people loved to know a little about him. It made him human and very real to them. So, he began to share more about his son, who had just graduated from West Point and his daughter who was living in Ireland. Currently, he still is out there talking about his city, his world and himself. He feels that he has helped people around the world better understand New York City. He is determined to continue, as this is his passion and his message to the world. I think that he is a wonderful example of somebody deciding that indeed they have a role to play beyond earning a living, beyond all the standard roles of being a wife, husband, neighbor, etc. Inside of himself, he realized that there was a special spark--a gift he had to offer the world. He wasn't just a cabdriver- he was an ambassador of a great city. He had a mission and no one else in the world could do it exactly as he could. Becoming an Enchantress or Enchanter is all about deciding what roles you have to play in life that are exquisitely suitable just to you. In fact, no one else can do them as you can. Then you can begin to cast your spells of Enchantment, as the Gabbie Cabbie did. As an Enchantress or Enchanter you combine inspiration with mental perspiration in exactly the right balance to move forward. That's what the Gabbie Cabbie was willing to do. I admire him and I admire each and every one of you with the persistence and courage to cast your positive spells upon the world!

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Someone asked me this week if I thought we really can have "it all." My immediate answer was "of course," but after thinking it over, I concluded that it depends on a lot of things. I think three main questions to ask are (1) Do YOU think you can have "it all"?; (2) Do you have a clear definition of what "it all" is?; and (3) are you willing to change your definition of "it all" as you life changes? In my opinion, the answer of whether or not you can have "it all" has to vary from person to person because we are all so different, and everyone has a differing definition of "it all". In fact, I believe that even the same individual’s definition of "it all" varies over their life. Most babies believe they have "it all" when they are in the arms of their mommy enjoying a good meal. That’s all it takes! But, as that baby matures, their definitions become more complex, and finding "it all" becomes increasingly a private matter. I have learned a lot of important life lessons during my search to have "it all." It began in Junior High School, when to have "it all" meant having my own room, getting HBO, and being on the "A" volleyball team at school. And, yes, I achieved those goals and had "it all." At least for a little while. Because the first lesson I learned about having "it all" is that as soon as you get "it all", you want more! In High School, I thought I only needed one thing to have "it all." I wanted so badly to be a member of the Madrigal Singers, a prestigious choir sponsored by our school. I finally worked up the nerve to audition, despite the fact that no one had ever told me I had a special singing talent or that my voice was unique. At least, until my audition, when the director of the choir had no problem telling me how LITTLE talent I had! When I didn’t make the choir, I learned that if my definition of having "it all" means having something that isn’t a god-given gift, I will always be defeated. If, however, I choose to pursue goals that fit with the talents I have, the chance to have "it all" is unlimited! In college, my quest for "it all" became more mercenary: a great job, a car, the grades I needed to be "sellable" after graduation. As I started my career, these goals were only expanded to include more and more "stuff": a house, nicer car, better job ... the list went on and on. About two years after my husband, Marty and I were married, I thought we were really getting somewhere. We were making more money than we ever had before (and, I might add, spending more money, too). I remember one evening we were on our first real vacation since getting married, and were feeling pretty proud of ourselves. We were dining in a very nice restaurant, enjoying each other’s company, good food and ****tails. We were doing a great job of congratulating ourselves for all we’d achieved. In our minds, that night, we actually had "it all." Well, God really does have a sense of humor, because two weeks after we returned from vacation "it all" went up in smoke when Marty’s company decided to close his division, and eliminate his job in the process. I quickly learned another lesson: if having "it all" is reliant on circumstances outside our control, we can easily be disappointed. So began several adventurous years where Marty and I moved across the country, changed careers, and started a family, always in search of a new and improved definition of "it all." In the process, I’ve learned some more important lessons. Most importantly, I’ve learned that the best "all" I can strive for is in my head. I can’t lie, money, a nice house, clothes, cars and jobs are important to me, but they are easily lost. Tony Robbins has often said that there is nothing in life you can control except the way that you perceive things. And, in order to place a positive perception on any circumstance that comes my way, I’ve learned that I must do three things. First, I must be at peace with myself, comfortable that I am always doing the very best that I can with the hand life has dealt me. Second, I must be happy and secure in my relationships with those closest to me, with my husband, son, family and especially with God. Finally, third, I must be constantly growing and improving, always trying to learn just a little bit more. For me, when I can achieve those three things on a consistent basis, I believe I really will have "it all." Since every person is different, I can’t tell you what it will take for you to have "it all." But I do know, that if you keep looking for the answers, the lessons you learn during your life will guide you until you, too will find the answer. Always continue to ask. Do YOU think you can have "it all?" Do you have a clear definition of what "it all" is? Are you willing to change your definition of "it all" as your life changes? If so, I’m positive that you will not only achieve "it all," but have a great time in the process – Yes, we CAN have it all!

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The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it’s the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise or maybe it’s the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable. A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the basement with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning, turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind. He sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whomever he was talking with something about a thousand marbles. I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say. Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you’re busy with your job. I’m sure they pay you well but it’s a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter’s dance recital. He continued, Let me tell you something, Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities. And that’s when he began to explain his theory of a thousand marbles. You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years. Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now stick with me, Tom, I’m getting to the important part. It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail he went on, and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round-up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container right here next to my gear. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight. Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday, then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time. It was nice to meet you, Tom. I hope you spend more time with your family and I hope to meet you again here on the band. 75 year Old Man, this is D9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning! You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. C’mon honey, I’m taking you and the kids to breakfast. What brought this on? she asked with a smile. Oh, nothing special, it’s just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we’re out? I need to buy some marbles

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Silverparrot

http://www.myspace.com/Silverparrot

Friends in your life are like pillars on your porch.
Sometimes they hold you up and sometimes they lean on you.
Sometimes it's just enough to know they're standing by.

~~"My tears do not compromise my strength"...~~