The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses.
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The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.
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The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.
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The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.
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The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.
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The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.
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The North has lobsters,
The South has crawfish.
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The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.
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In the South:
If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel-drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
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Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do not buy food at this store.
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Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's is plural possessive.
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Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
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Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective big'ol" truck or "big'ol" boy.

Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
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Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
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If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. Those may well be the last words he'll ever say.
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If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
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Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
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AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
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Have a good day! Show this to four people that ain't related to you,and reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know.

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Thank you & God bless <><n

Nancy,
These were hilarious; Mo would really like these I'm sure. I'll pass them on, but I sure don't want my life to turn into a country music song, nor do I even want to hear a country song! Thanks though, needed the laugh this evening!!

I guess since y're a west'ner, ya probably didn't understand this'un, eh? Ha. Gary sent it to me &amp; it was tooo funny not to share here. Thought people who copy jokes from this site to send their PPPs might like it &amp; the PPPs might get a kick out of it!

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Thank you & God bless <><n

They were funny! Hey, I understood most of them! I've got quite a thick file of stuff to send to PPs!!

In the North:
If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four illegal aliens in a ford explorer SUV with no insurance will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, all they'll take is just your wallet ... if youre lucky. This is what &quot;they&quot; live for. LOL
New York isn't what it used to be

Good one, Jim!!

MsNan, us southerners ain't that bad are we. Aaahhh the good ole south..

MSNan, thanks for posting this. I've seen this before and it does hold alot of truth. Being born and raised in the Deep South, this holds true to the area. How I miss the Deep South and calling guys &quot;Bubbas&quot;. They take it as a compliment.

Tupplady, email me, please.

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Thank you & God bless <><n

Being born and raised in the South, I totally appreciate every one of these! I can't imagine living anywhere else!! Although it is fun to visit the north and hear all your slang, too! (like bubbler for water fountain)