Message from a death row inmate

It is said that capital punishment is justice, and that the criminals will never again be able to commit a crime. Never hurt another soul.
How very wrong they are. I wish such people had been able to witness today the horrible pain I caused my family.
I had to explain to them the status of my appeals and break the news of the likelihood of my execution in a year. I wish those who are so sure that capital punishment stops pain had witnessed the struggle of my older sister trying very hard to be strong, because she must. She is the rock and she knows that everyone will lean on her for support.
But she has large, soulful brown eyes and I could see how she was hurting. Trying not to cry, urging me to know that she’ll be there for me. She will be the one to cry alone in private, being braver for everyone else.
Her husband said little but is obviously concerned. I do not know him well enough to know how he will deal with this. But it will never be easy.
My niece at age thirteen is probably too young to understand fully. With the resilience of a child she will bounce back from this faster than others.
My oldest brother whom I have not seen in fifteen years. He visits and I drop this bomb in his lap. He suffers so, and hides his pain behind a stoic expression. But the eyes. Oh those pale eyes reveal it all. His baby sister will have to die and he is helpless to stop it.
Recent visits with my two younger brothers and their families have been equally as difficult and painful. They are still largely un-accepting. Denial that such a terrible thing will happen.
Today my nephew cried. A Nineteen-year-old is "tough." Never show emotions. But he cried. He was very upset and I wanted so much to hold him and tell him that it’s all a mistake and I’m coming home. But I can’t tell him that.
Instead I have to help him deal with the fact that his aunt will be put in the electric chair and killed.
He is a very sensitive and loving soul. He will suffer terribly about this. I don’t know how to help him.
But he has faith. Not in the system but in God. When he hugged me before leaving I tried to comfort him. But he offered comfort to me. "You have been forgiven and God loves you. Just believe and you will be walking among the angels."
In a day of many tears I cried more at his words. I am very worried about him. But from the words he spoke it would seem that he will make it through better than the rest of us.
My children. I have not yet told my children.
Harm people?? No. An execution insures that a person will not murder again. But don’t try to tell me that no one else will be hurt. I’ve looked in the faces of my loved ones. I’ve seen their tears and devastation. I’ve watched their emotional struggle, anger, and helplessness. I’ve seen them crushed by the cruel reality of capital punishment. Don’t tell me no one else will be hurt.

Judity Ann Neelley
Alabama Death Row

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They say NOBODY is perfect so just call me NOBODY

As i sit here reading this with a heavy heart, all i can think of is my pen pal on Death Row.
I recieved mail from him while i was away explaining he has had his execution date set once again. Only a few short months away, and how concerned he is for his sister and mum, not himself.
I still cannot believe i once thought there was a place for the Death Penalty in our society. Not because the old saying... "an eye for an eye", but because i believed it humane, painless and inexpensive. I actually thought you were doing good to let someone out of there misery instead of spending life in prison.

HOW WRONG WAS I!!!

My friend even sent me a write up cut from a newspaper about.....

" The search for a humane execution".

So i may have a better understanding about the American Death Penalty.
I know many that recieve the Death Penalty do heinous crimes, but i still believe that you can protect society by locking up these people for life, without the possibility of parole/release.
Look at Stanley "Tookie" Williams. Politics aside, that man was doing so much for the community, he was more valuable alive than dead. Honestly what purpose did his death serve? Not one of his victims gained from his death, (they were not brought back into this life) nor do i believe there families. Unless of course it was to take comfort in a corpse.

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If you are compassionate in your approach to all tasks in life, believing that all "problems" contain valuable lessons, you will find peace of mind.
~Dr. Lee Jampolsky

Thank you so much for this post. It really touched my heart and gave me a new way to look at some things. Please tell this person thank you also. My heart goes out to her as well as her family. I will keep them in my prayers.

Thanks Mo - very moving.