HA HA HA AWESOME RESPONSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not all inmates need to ask for money,, mine would be furious if I put any money in his account,,, he seems to do ok, how, I don't know but he has family and friends on the outside who I think help him out a little. If your pp needs to ask for money then he is not getting help from anyone and there's a reason for that. Not all inmates are indigent, believe it or not, most seem to have money for the inmate store and so on. I think what your pp did was rude and this is going to be a pattern if you give him money once,, he'll keep asking. I know it sucks to be in his shoes but he brought it on himself,, i really would blow this guy off. Let some other sucker send him money.

Yup, I agree with Skye and Peanut , and just move on to someone else, then, he didnt apprecate you at all. someone said to me recently, sometimes it takes a few pp's to find the right ones..

I don't see why so many people get bent out of shape when these guys just come right out and ASK for what they want.......

They are NOT manipulating you, they are NOT deceiving you, NOT trying to con you, nor mislead you with sweet talk and empty promises. I think it is honesty in FULL, doesn't mean we like it, or think it socially acceptable by any means, it is what it is. A man asking for $$$. Some are testing the waters to see what if ANYTHING you are willing to give.

Who knows maybe you have NOT enforced to this man what you are willing to do and give as a friend through the pen. Much like when out at a club, a guy hits on you, you have fun, a few drinks and he thinks in HIS mind it is accepted you will go back to his place for a good time, so a little touching goes on, until YOU lay the ground rules down how is he to know what is and isn't acceptable to you? Not all think as we do, nor do they carry the same values. All that needs to be done in my opinion is communicate what is and isn't acceptable, if you choose to send no money so be it, if he does or doesn't sticks around you know the deal.

Just because someone is not afraid to speak out and say what they want, does not mean they should be ridden off.....well not in this case from little you have shared. I think honesty goes a long way no matter what is being said. I would rather someone come right out and say something than beat around the bush doing what is often socially acceptable following the crowd, but that's my take on it.

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The last of all freedoms is the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances.
G. W. Allport.

Whereas I understand completely why it is not appropriate.

I consider my friends in prison to be just that. My friends on the outside do not importune me for money or hand me wish lists with items underlined! I would not expect them to and I don't expect inmates who are my friends to act any differently.

I agree, this though was not even a friend so to speak as of yet, it was an intro letter only and this is what he sent back.

Even the prison officials would have a problem with that for "good reasons".

It is support to this orginal poster of this thread, she should feel insulted and also know the prison itself finds this behavior an inmate using and abusing is not acceptable period. Not even an inmate should need to be told this.

Supporting inmates causes, is a far cry from making it seem we are doing something wrong or we owe them,or did not state in an intro letter.
Support for the ogininal poster is find another pp !!!

That is the kind of support site this is.

It is worriesome if one promotes or give excuses for the inmate each and every time, also irresponsible of us.

Some will end up meeting or marrying an inmate, and lets all hope they have been given good advice as to not end up being financially ruined, emotionally or maybe even worse. Some inmates not all have done this in the past reality check here.


This inmate is lucky if not reported to the Warden, leave it at that.

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If a friendship or pen-pal relationship is established and the inmate asks for help, or the 'Extras', that is one thing. Now... if the offender responds to the first 'intro' letter with commissary lists and or demands, that is a totally different thing, and quite honestly if a friendship is starting of with this type of prerequisite it is no "FRIENDSHIP" at all.

I just got off of the phone with my pal and I asked him what he thought of this happening after the first letter and he told me that if an inmate is starting off this bold it is only going to intensify, and he sees this crap all day long, and in the end the person who just wanted to help is now the one hurt.

If you meet a new friend at a bar, or a club and they start telling you what they need and providing a list of it with prices, you're probably going to look at them with a WTF look on your face.

Now, if you've known that person for a minute and they tell you, "Hey I need help paying my cell phone bill" , or "I don't know what the heck I am going to do, I've got no gas in the car and I don't get paid till Friday" Then you're more inclined to help because you know this person and know they are not running game on you.

Now... there is a difference in necessities and extras in prison. The necessities are provided and have to legally be provided. Anything else is 'extra'. Yes, it is nice to have the extras and nice to have someone to send them, but come on... asking for them straight off the rip? No, I am not down with that, and I can understand why others are not as well. I believe if someone is going to assist in helping with the extras the first step should be made by them, at least until there is a comfort level between the two that exceeds that of a pen-pal.

Many DOCs see it this way too. In some states you have to be on the inmates visitation list in order to send money and/or care packages. In return, in some states you have to be on the inmates visitation list for them to send you personal belongings or gifts made in the craft shops or art they make in their cells, even paintings and drawings for that matter. Some states even have advice as to how much money you send in. The average is anything over 20$ is suspicious. And many states have a limitation as to how much can be spent at any given time, and I agree with the state's decision on that.

Of course there are exceptions... shoes, TV's, typewriters, fans, etc... but should you really be discussing those large purchases in the first few letters ?

I think that the DOCs are taking a logical approach with setting restrictions.This will restrict the number of problems that can and do arise when sending money and gifts so early on.

Lets face it... we all know scams happen and there is NOTHING WRONG with questioning the requests for money and gifts, especially after the first few letters.

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Couldn't agree with you more!

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The last of all freedoms is the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances.
G. W. Allport.

[quote=Skye;935396

[FONT=Comic Sans MS]I just got off of the phone with my pal and I asked him what he thought of this happening after the first letter and he told me that if an inmate is starting off this bold it is only going to intensify, and he sees this crap all day long, and in the end the person who just wanted to help is now the one hurt.[/font]


So true, not only Jon, many pps I wrote before him and the ones I write now, warn me of this type of inmate and all the different scams. That is a true friend by the pen. ...

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However, the friendship is unlikely to form when someone starts off with what they 'want' in terms of money and/or gifts. If it is a legit friendship forming the requests will come at a proper time, not straight off the top.

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